My Version of a Writing Prompt

I cannot do the writing prompt thing. Rather, I've been in enough workshops that I can write to a prompt, but said writing always sucks rocks. The one exception to this rule is an old friend of mine: we used to send each other insane writing challenges, like the time that he challenged me to write a poem about wobbly hamsters. I just spent about 15 minutes scouring our mess of an office to try and find a copy of my 'Paeon to Wobbly Hamsters' without success. So just pretend that I posted it, and it's really witty.

The funniest part about this anecdote is that I worked on a scientific paper a couple of years ago in which the phrase "wobbly hamsters" was used a few times. In fact, there was an illustration of a wobbly hamster. That made my day, let me tell you.

Anyway, I'm going to do the Carrie version of a writing prompt. I'm listing off 10 of the best search items that led people to The Wonder That Is My Blog in the past couple of weeks. And then I'm writing a poem using those items. If anyone else has a site meter, I'd love to see yours. You poem, not your meter.

Wow. That sounded vaguely pervy. Oh well.

And here are the items:

• Evil baby eyebrows
  
• Because the ninjas are too busy
  
• Did you hear that probably not cuz I'm a ninja
  
• Hot thumbs
  
• I'm a bimbo
  
• Game ninja cooking for zombies
  
• Pumping iron good vibrations
  
• Seven semi ninja
  
• Boob door knocker
  
• Snarf foot

And here be the poem:

Ninja strikes the
Boob door knocker
A single clank heralds
Death on the front porch
When she answers
he says, "Did you hear that?
Probably not, cuz I'm a ninja"
and gives her the hot thumbs
The end for her is brief

Villain waits,
seven semi ninja arrayed like playing cards
When Ninja arrives, he arches an
evil baby eyebrow but
the bodyguards fail to strike
distracted by a ninja game:
Cooking for Zombies

"Fall under the power of my
snarf foot!" snarls Ninja
and Villain gropes for assistance but finds none
because the semi ninjas are too busy
"I'm innocent," he cries
but Ninja cuts his throat
delighting in the good vibrations
of pumping iron-rich blood
onto the floor
"Right," says Ninja,
"And I'm a bimbo."