Happy Birthday to Me!

So I feel a little lame throwing myself a finished my draft party followed by a birthday party, but I might as well embrace the lamocity. It's not like I can fight my natural tendencies, right? I want a party; my birthday is Sunday, so I'm throwing one. Right here. Right now.

*sound of crickets*

No no NO! This always happens to me. Like the time I planned this huge high school blowout graduation party at the lake, only the night before the party someone burnt down the porta potty, and then almost nobody came, possibly because they didn't want to pee in a slouchy, melted plastic potty. I'm not sure what the problem was. If they were truly my friends, they would have held it. For about five hours.

Come on, people! I'm turning 25, or at least that's what you get if you average my physical age with my mental age. And there are no slouchy potties anywhere at this party, unless you bring one yourself.

I've got a lot of things to celebrate, though. Honestly. There's the completion of the book draft, the fact that Delacorte hasn't realized that I'm a closet lunatic and hurriedly signed a restraining order, the birthday, and the fact that there were zombie penguins on Cartoon Network. I love zombie penguins. I have one sitting on my writing desk, looming down at me while I work. He's got one huge eye and one tiny eye. As of this moment, his name is Winky.

HE'S at my party. Don't you want to be? What party-rific news is out there? I know Lisa and Laura, Christine, and Corey are all celebrating book deals. Have you congratulated them yet? Lisa and Laura are even giving away a KINDLE, as if they could get any kewler.

I'm at the party. I am not deterred by a slouchy potty.