BAD TASTE IN BOYS excerpt

Watch this video of me reading from BTIB, and then throw sparkles in your face. It'll be just like seeing me in person.

Happy Birthday, Slayer!

Today is my husband's birthday. Here you go, Slayer--a political candidate you will LIKE.



I'd vote for him. Either of them, actually.

Anyway, happy birthday, husbando. I LOVE YOU.

Interior Design, Carriestyle

We've been working on our house lately. We have one of those houses with about two square feet of closet space total, so every time I go over to someone else's house, I wander around, muttering, "Closets...such lovely closets..." until they throw me out. When no one else is around, I look up closet organization websites and drool over the pictures. I dream about walk-ins.

For years, Slayer and I have dreamt about the features in our dream house. He wants a man cave--a room he can fill with leather furniture and cigar boxes and a big tv, probably with lots of antlers and weaponry on the wall. Or weaponry made out of antlers. So he gets that.

And I get chttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.giflosets. And an office. With lots and lots and LOTS of bookshelves. But I'd also like these things:

Viva la revolucion! Nothing says "Down with the man (especially if he is holding a cheeseburger) like Che Hoff! This poster belongs on my walls.


And it'll hang next to this handy reference poster that tells you the correct terminology for supernatural collectives. They had me at "A solace of Baba Yagas."


When you come over, you'll have to look under my desk at my sugar skull floor mat. SERIOUSLY, WHO COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF, AND CAN I INVITE THEM OVER FOR DINNER?!?


Of course, at this rate, we're going to need to move into a hotel so I have enough room to put all this stuff. You'd stay at my hotel, right?

BTIB Deleted Scene

My new dishwasher showed up. So I'm going to go drool over it for a while, and maybe rub butter all over some plates and then wash them.

You think I'm kidding, but I'm totally not.

Anyway, while I go play with butter, you might want to take a look at the deleted BTIB scene over at Loving Books. There is Jonah in it. And there's a giveaway too.

Now...let there be butter.

Bookanistas: STUPID FAST by Geoff Herbach

Happy Bookanista Thursday! Today is the day that we recommend great books, and you curse us because now you have to read them and how on earth are you going to get the dishes/homework/alien invasion prep done if you keep reading all these books!?!?

Today, I'm featuring STUPID FAST by Geoff Herbach. This one is already out, so you don't need to curse my name for recommending something you can't get your hands on yet.

About STUPID FAST:

Fifteen-year-old Felton Reinstein has always been on the smallish side, but in his sophomore year he starts growing...and growing.

During gym one day he smokes the football jocks in a 600-yard race. Felton has never been interested in sports, but there's no doubt-he is "stupid fast." As he juggles his newfound athletic prowess, his mom's sudden depression, an annoying little brother, and his first love, he discovers a shocking secret about his past which explains why he's turning out the way he is.

Guys, this is one of the best books I've read this year.

It's probably no surprise to anyone that I'm not the hugest sports fan, unless the sport in question is roller derby or it's being played by zombies. But after reading and loving Keri Mikulski's Pretty Tough books, I thought I'd give this one a try.

And holy frijoles, was it worth every minute.

Felton sounds like a REAL GUY, which is probably a good thing, since I'm assuming that Geoff is a REAL GUY too. I feel like there are plenty of options to read about guys who are descended from (insert deity here), or guys who are (insert paranormal creature here), or guys who are (insert variety of smartassery here). But STUPID FAST stood out to me because Felton can't be easily pigeonholed. He wanted to be funny but feared that he wasn't. He was completely perplexed by how his life was spiraling out of control; he wanted things to change but couldn't find a way to make it happen. All he can do, the only thing he can control, is running. And after his mega growth spurt, he does it stupid fast.

Felton Reinstein made me cry and snort things out my nose, but not simultaneously. It was so good that after I was done reading, I gave it to my husband. He devoured it too.

So even if you're not a fan of boy books, or sports books, or books with numbers on the cover...WHATEVER. Give this one a try. If you don't like it, I'll eat my shoe.

And now...WE INTERRUPT THIS BOOKANISTA BROADCAST to celebrate WRITE ON CON! For some fun writer insights and pep talks, click along to…

Christine Fonseca, Beth Revis, Jessi Kirby and Stasia Ward Kehoe!

And, we know you MUST have your Thursday Bookanista reviews so here you go!

Veronica Rossi loves Legend

Shana Silver serves up a Maureen Johnson double feature of The Last Little Blue Envelope & The Name of the Star

Scott Tracey is awed by Anna Dressed in Blood

Bethany Wiggins howls over How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend

Gretchen McNeil is spellbound by Witch Eyes

Carolina Valdez Miller and Shelli Johannes-Wells are passionate about Possess

Matt Blackstone blogs From Bedside

The Inevitable

So you know how I've blogged every weekday, excepting a few holidays and sick days, for the last THREE FRACKING YEARS?!? Well, this is my 702th post, and that means I've written about three-and-a-half books worth. That's a LOT.

In all honesty, I'm getting a little burnt out. I will absolutely continue to blog, because I love it and I love YOU, but it's probably not going to be every day. But never fear, because I will be using the time to do OTHER things that you will hopefully enjoy.

I will be tweeting, probably more than is good for me.

I will be responding to your comments. I was drowning there for a while, and I didn't comment back to you, which is really suckish. I'm sorry!!! One of the reasons I got into this was so I could talk with you, not at you, and some of my closest friends are from blogville. I hope that with fewer posts to cover, we'll actually be able to talk again.

I will be vlogging. I have a sekrit vlog project in the planning stages right now, and I hope to be able to tell you more soon.

And I will be writing some extras. I got a lot of messages with sad faces in them when I announced that BAD HAIR DAY won't be out until November. (Although this means you can buy it for people AND WRAP IT, which is awesome.) It IS a long time to wait, so I'll be writing some new shorts and posting some deleted scenes and things. My goal is to get you something new each month--we'll see if I make it.

So please don't panic if you stop by and see that I haven't posted that day. I have NOT been devoured by zombies. Or if I have, it's been in the name of vlogging, and that's okay.

Happy Tuesday Gifts

I have things for you.

I hope I don't offend anyone by saying that I'm not the world's biggest bluegrass fan. But I could sit through HOURS of this.



These are the coolest (if slightly gory) zombie bowling balls I've ever seen. And yes, they are the ONLY zombie bowling balls I've ever seen.

At my house, though, we have zombie bowling PINS. They are the bomb. You won't get that joke unless you click the link. And then you will groan.

BTW, if you're anywhere near SE Michigan, you should stop and see me at the Kerrytown Bookfest in Ann Arbor on September 11th. I'll be on a science fiction panel with Jim FREAKING Hines (his new name), Steven CRAZY PROLIFIC Piziks, and David Erik AWESOME SQUID SOCK CTHULHU MAKER Nelson. If you show up, I will give YOU a random capital letter nickname too.

Why? WHY NOT.

Carrie's Weekend in Pictures

This weekend was sooooo much fun. On Friday night, my in-laws took the kids, so Slayer and I went out to dinner and walked around downtown Ann Arbor. We went to some art galleries and the comic book store (where we saw a picture of Princess Leia with some serious 5 o'clock stubble), and then....THEN...

We saw a violin playing werewolf.

I stopped my maniacal giggling long enough to get pictoral proof.

Eat your heart out, Teen Wolf. This guy has mad violin skilz.

On Saturday, I worked on my books. Which means I read out loud to myself a lot and did some research.

Words, get thee in my head!

I should probably note that the exorcism book is left over from a book I wrote a long time ago and not a sekrit hint at what I'm working on now. Although it makes me think of POSSESS by Gretchen McNeil. You HAVE ordered it, right? Get POSSESSed, people! Vade retro satana! *shakes possess pompoms* *wonders what possess pompoms would look like* *wants some*

And yesterday, we took the kids to the circus, which reminded me about that circus related book idea I have, and THAT'S THE LAST THING I NEED. The book idea fairies need to stay the heck out of my room! You hear that, you BIFs?!?!

While I'm chasing fairies, please enjoy this blurry photo of an elephant with children on top. Which is kinda like a sundae with a cherry on top only...not.

What did you do this weekend?

Random Thoughts for Friday

My to do list is as long as my arms. On my to do list? Get longer arms.

I say that I'd like to get a personal assistant to help clean my house and organize my projects and respond to fan mail and things. Yesterday, I tried to recruit one of my twitter followers to follow me around in a ninja costume with a boom box and play the soundtrack to my life. He said it was fine so long as I called him Dobler. Dobler hasn't arrived. I'm disappointed.

It really amuses me that I spent all of college trying to get stalkers to stop following me, and now I spend all my time trying to get people to follow me online. I wish I had the phone numbers of those stalkers.

I really want to plant a zombie in the garden. I wouldn't have to weed it. And I'm really behind on my weeding, because Dobler isn't here to play a weeding song.

Now I'm brainstorming weeding songs.

I'm very close to finishing line edits on BAD HAIR DAY and the last round of before-the-agent edits on book number 3. So of course, last night, I dreamt about one of my other shelved projects. My subconscious has it out for me.

I miss the used bookstore where I used to live. Half Price Books, come to Michigan. Please. Or I will have to buy another bookcase.

What's up with you?

Bookanistas: POSSESS by Gretchen McNeil

Welcome back to Bookanista Thursday. We haven't done this in a while, so let me remind you of the basics--Bookanistas recommend some good reads every Thursday. We're all writers, so you won't find traditional reviews, but you will find things to add to your to-read list. Which is awesome.

Today, I'm OH-SO-STRONGLY recommending POSSESS by Gretchen McNeil. Here's what it's about:

Fifteen-year-old Bridget Liu just wants to be left alone: by her mom, by the cute son of a local police sergeant, and by the eerie voices she can suddenly and inexplicably hear. Unfortunately for Bridget, it turns out the voices are demons – and Bridget has the rare ability to banish them back to whatever hell they came from.

Terrified to tell people about her new power, Bridget confides in a local priest who enlists her help in increasingly dangerous cases of demonic possession. But just as she is starting to come to terms with her new power, Bridget receives a startling message from one of the demons. Now Bridget must unlock the secret to the demons' plan before someone close to her winds up dead – or worse, the human vessel of a demon king.

So when I was in junior high and early in high school, I was so addicted to Christopher Pike that I read the covers off them. Literally. I read Lois Duncan and VC Andrews--anything that gave me goosebumps. Eventually, I moved on, but I can still give you a page-by-page rundown of Last Act. Poor Melanie.

POSSESS reminds me of everything I loved about those books. It's genuinely chilling without being gross-out or taking me into I'll-never-sleep-again territory. It's fast paced and un-put-downable. It has a heroine that I'd like to befriend and a hot guy to drool over. There are scenes that made me gnash my teeth over, because they are just That Good. At least they were clean teeth. I brushed them while holding the book because I couldn't bear to put it down.

I know. I'm gushing, and I don't usually gush.

As a big horror aficionado, I was really curious to see how this book would handle the process of exorcism. I've read a lot about it, which probably won't surprise you. The process here is very simplified, which initially had me a little worried, but I felt like this was absolutely the right choice for the story. It keeps things fast paced and avoids a lot of pesky religious questions. In short, regardless of what your exorcism-related beliefs are, you should still be able to appreciate this as a good story.

Frankly, my only complaint about this book is that it's the first one I read while on vacation, and then it was downhill from there. Nothing else stacked up to it.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are recommending this week!

Elana Johnson sings out for Chime

LiLa Roecker thinks Epic Fail is a great success - with giveaway

Matt Blackstone feels The Pull of Gravity

Scott Tracey is entranced by Daughter of Smoke and Bone

Carolina Valdez Miller marvels at The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

What're you reading now?

YA Rebels

Today, I'm auditioning for the YA Rebels. If I'm selected, that means you'll get to see me babble at you on video once a week. Depending on your point of view, you're probably cheering and throwing sparkles at your computer or running in fear and hiding under the bed right now. Just don't get confused and throw sparkles UNDER the bed, because that would be messy.

Take a moment to check out the rest of the auditions too! There are some awesome videos up there. But make sure to wear your Carrie the Pseudo Rebel campaign pins. And the hat. And the chaps.

Frankly, I think that if more politicians gave out promotional chaps, the world would be a better place.

I should also note that I'd appreciate it if you wore, you know, CLOTHES. (This message is meant for a specific person, and you know who you are.)

Anyway, without further ado...

Calling All Members of M-HIF

One of the questions that I get a lot is who I'd cast in a film version of my books. I know a lot of people who struggle with this question, but I find it pretty easy. I'm on a mission, you see. A mission for More Hoff in Film. M-HIF is dedicated to bringing more David Hasselhoff to EVERY film. For example, I think that my Lifetime movie should star the Hoff. As me.

I think that the Hoff should have played Gandalf.

Come see my pointy hat trick.


And honestly? The only thing that would have made the original Star Wars trilogy was if the Hoff had played Yoda.

Jump in my car, you will.

I think the Twilight films would have been 100x better if Edward and Jacob had been fighting over...well...

How do you like THEM apples?

What about you? What film roles are YOU eager to see the Hoff take over?

Happiness is a guy with an axe breaking into a chicken store

Sorry, guys. I've been gone for a few days, and my house is full of bags waiting to be unpacked, and my legs are full of pain from doing too many things that involve walking. I look so pitiful that my kids let me sleep in.

The good news about this is that now I have firsthand experience of the zombie lurch-and-moan. Which means that I can write off my trip as research, right?

So I'm going to get caught up here today. But let me leave you with a hilarious AxeCop comic that includes a picture of the Halloween costume I want to wear this year. And yes, I'm honestly starting to think about that even though it's only August.

Go! See a man with an axe dress up and break into a chicken store. You know you want to.

School Mascots

In BAD TASTE IN BOYS, the school mascot is the Bantams, and I made up a Bayview Bantams t-shirt for the trailer. I still wear that shirt, because hey, why the heck not? But I took way too long researching possible mascots--not because I couldn't make up my mind, but because I honestly think that the people who create school mascots are smoking something, and it's not legal.

How else do you explain the Key School Obezags? It's an anagram. Of "gazebo." Which is awesome. I think someone at their school was a fan of the Dread Gazebo. As a gamer geek, I make at least one gazebo joke a week to meet my quota.

Then there are teams like beg to be pervertized. Like any team named the Trojans, or the Cobden Appleknockers, or the Butte Pirates. (Really? REALLY?!?) I'll refrain from commenting on them, but you can pretty much imagine what I'm thinking if you try hard enough.

And then there are the names full of WTFuttery. Like the Mt. Clemens Battling Bathers and the Watersmeet Nimrods.

I think there should be more teams with monster names. There are a few centaur teams out there, because apparently man-horses inspire major fear in the hearts of opponents. Wyverns are pretty common too. But where are the MERPIRES? That would be scary. Or the Sparkly Vampires? Which would be...uh...sparkly.

My high school mascot? The bees. I wish they were sparkly or vampiric, but they weren't.

NotGD wrap-up and research

First, a small matter of business. I've contacted all the winners of Night of the Giving Dead and sent out all critique instructions. But I'm hearing from some people that their emails haven't shown up. (I blame a ravening cybermonster, who is obviously eating all my words of wisdom.) So if you're waiting for an auction related email from me, drop me a note and I'll resend.

If you haven't paid for your items or contacted me to make arrangements, I will be assigning them to the next available winner tomorrow, which is a few days later than I said I'd do it. Please do contact me if you have questions!

And now, a sneak peek! I spent a large part of the day yesterday watching a documentary called Fantastic Flesh about special effects makeup. And now I'm reading this. Both are research for a new book, and it's probably the most fun I've had doing research EVER. Because let's face it; I already know enough about zombies and werewolves to fill an encyclopedia. I did my research anyway, but I spent most of my time going, "Yep. Yep. I know. Isn't that hilarious?"

What are the most interesting things you've ever had to research, for books or otherwise?

Calling All Book Ninjas - A Bit on Pirating

I knew I'd "made it" when Google Alerts for pirated versions of my book started showing up in my inbox. I was able to take the first few with a decent amount of humor, because it's pretty ridiculous to believe that it's not going to happen, right? I knew it. I was prepared-ish for it. And then I saw the number of people downloading it and totally went batshit crazy.

I don't normally swear on this blog, but that's how crazy I went.

Because the reality is that if every one of those people had bought a copy, or even gone on their library website and requested the book instead of doing the exact same thing on an illegal sharing site? If they'd done that, IT WOULD HAVE MADE A BIG DIFFERENCE TO ME. And not just in terms of my ability to stay relatively sane, but also in terms of my career. I'd explain this, but the lovely and hilarious Saundra Mitchell already has, and she's smarter than me. Seriously, it's worth a read, and I'll be here when you get back.

Book pirating is a real problem. And I've been thinking a lot about this whole issue and what to do about it. Beyond the obvious, which is SICCING RANDOM HOUSE on them and composing emails to them in my head that start with "AAAAAAAAAWHYDIDYOUDOTHAT?!?!" I've been doing both of those things, and they have an immediate effect, I guess, in that they make me feel marginally better and RH is now on their trail to hopefully make them take it down. But somehow that feels insufficient. I needed something bigger to get the attention of those pirates.

I needed ninjas.

Everyone knows that pirates and ninjas don't get along. When ninjas are involved, I think it's a given that pirates pay attention. And I think that many book pirates honestly don't understand that their actions are seriously contributing to the fact that their favorite series doesn't have an ending...because the publishing house chose not to pick up the next book due to low sales. I think they're so busy stomping around with their peglegs and illegal downloads that they don't REALIZE that they're not just sticking it to the man, but they're also sticking it to authors...who can't afford to be authors any more.

Now, I'm not in that situation at this point. I'm very lucky to have two more books coming out in the next two years, and I'm working my butt off to insure that they're followed by more of the same! But that doesn't change the fact that it PISSETH ME OFF AND MAKETH ME SPEAK IN A PSEUDO ACCENT.

I know that to a certain extent, I'm preaching to the chorus. I know a lot of you, and you wouldn't dream of pirating a book. Most of the people who need to hear this aren't on book blogs, so we're all stuck dealing with it, right?

Maybe so, but there's still an opportunity to make a difference. Be a book ninja. Nodding in agreement when reading blog posts like this is GREAT, and I'm glad if you're doing that. (Heck, I'm just happy that you're spending a few minutes with me in the first place.) But there are plenty of easy things you can do to help make sure your favorite authors can still write. Help spread the word about library programs that allow you to download FREE BUT LEGAL ebooks for people who are desperate to read but just can't scrape up the cash. If you're in school, write about these things for a report or the school newspaper. If you know someone who has downloaded books, take a minute to point them towards Saundra's post so they understand that it really DOES make a difference. Speak out against book piracy. You can even wear a ninja cowl when you do it if it makes you feel cooler. It does for me.

Be a book ninja.

Here is a book ninja learning how to kick some book pirate booty.

Things That Are Awesome...Including NEW RELEASE DATES

I'm back! And today, I want to give you a short list of five things that are really ridiculously awesome. Like, you know how evaporated milk is thick and concentrated and, well, EVAPORATED? These things are like evaporated awesomesauce. Extra awesome, less sauce.

1. I've already told you that Night of the Giving Dead raised over $7000 in books for the kids of Mott Children's Hospital, and I'm still waiting for a few donations to float in. But hearing that isn't the same as SEEING it. About a third of the books are currently occupying my living room. They look like THIS:


You can't quite tell from this picture, but these towers are as tall as I am. I would have taken a picture with said towers, but they fell over shortly after we took this picture. Which was slightly less awesome, but I guess you can't have everything.

2. I HAZ DATES! Official book releasey dates! First, there's the BAD TASTE IN BOYS paperback, which is really good if you like your books to be soft and cuddly, or if you intend to learn to juggle with them, or if you want to have a complete collection of sugar lips and put them on the shelves so they can make out with each other. (I haven't done that...much.) You can get your paperback version on June 12th of next year! And I'm putting the finishing touches on the next Kate Grable adventure, BAD HAIR DAY, which officially hits the shelves just in time for Christmas--November 13th, 2012!

3. I am not a runner, but if you put zombies on the course and heart-pounding obstacles all around it, I just might turn into one. This is one of the coolest zombie-themed events I've ever seen. And trust me, I've seen a lot.

4. We now have this in our family room. My kids will be fully prepared for the zombie apocalypse. And based on my score, I will be fully prepared to offer constructive criticism and stay the heck out of the way because they can outshoot me. Maybe I'll stick to melee weapons.

5. THIS IS AWESOME. Nerd rapping is always awesome. DFTBA, people.