Things That Make Me Snarf - Ninja Parade

You've probably already seen this, but it's too funny to pass up. I could watch it all day long, but that wouldn't bode particularly well for my edits now, would it?

Me: Sorry, Fabulous Agent Kate and Rock Star Wendy, the book isn't done.

FAK and RSW: NOT DONE!?!?

Me: Blame it on the ninja. Kind of like that old Milli Vanilli song, only different.



And just in case you missed it, please stop by my February Giveaway! You can win two hours of my time to help you with your current writing projects. So long as the ninja don't interfere, that is.

February Giveaway

For those of you who missed it, I've declared 2010 the Year of Give Backery. The Reader's Digest version is pretty, well, short. 2009 was such a good year for me, so I'm going to give something away every month. Last month, I gave a 10 page critique to the uber awesome Marybeth Poppins.

A 10 page critique! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

EEEEEEEEEEEEE is right, Richard. I second your EEEEEEE! But a few people mentioned that *le gasp* they don't have anything to be critiqued. So that's why this month's Give Backery is a little more open. It's the Two Hours of Awesomesauce giveaway. I will give you two hours of my time. Here are a few things I can do in two hours:

• Critique 10 pages of your work.
  
• Help you write a query letter.
  
• Critique a synopsis.
  
• Help you brainstorm your next project or get through a plot snag.
  
• Debate the relative merits of pirates versus ninjas.
  
• Send you about 50 ridiculous YouTube videos.

And the rules are simple:

Leave a comment: +1 entry
Current follower: +2 entries
New follower: +1 entry
Tweet/blog about the contest: +1 entry each

Please let me know how many entries you have total, because otherwise I might miss something, and that would suck. The contest will be open until Thursday, Feb 11 at noon EST. I'll choose the winner by random number generator and post their name on Friday.

You know you want 50 ridiculous YouTube videos. Admit it.

Things That Make Me Snarf - Understanding Teenage Boys

Slayer is so lucky he's no longer a teenage boy, because otherwise he'd be a victim of a hit-and-run buttering.



Have good weekendage, peeps. And stop back on Monday to learn about February's Give Backery. It's even better than last month's! Whee!

The Conference Wrap-Up

The SCBWI conference was sooo awesome. I'm not a huge taker of notes, but here are my big takeaways:

Libba Bray is hilarious. One of my favorite bits of hers was to not chase the hot pterodactyl boyfriend. In other words, don't chase trends; let your book be what it is. After all, by the time it hits the shelves, that trend will be over anyway. A lot of people said the same thing. During the agent's panel, they kept saying they don't like chasing trends, they like MAKING trends. Ben Schrank from Razorbill said the same. You should know the market but not write FOR it. But that doesn't mean that you can't follow a trend if that's the story you need to tell. A lot of people were flipping because their *insert brilliant idea here* was uber similar to something else out there, but the consensus was that if the book is good, the book is good. Period.

I went to a section on Writing Fantasy, where I met the lovely Lee Wind, who is a fellow Cybils judge (and did I mention how lovely he is?). The general perception is that traditional high fantasy is getting softer. Paranormal romance is in its heyday, although some people think it will soon be over and others think it's here to stay. Dystopian is huge, probably because of Hunger Games. And steampunk is on an upswing. Of course, after they said that, they reminded us not to chase trends. :)

I went to the Blueboarder dinner on Saturday night with about 30-40 other people, along with a herd of Elevensies AND Stephanie Ruble, AND other kewl people. I actually took pictures. Sometime in the next millenium, I will go downstairs and upload them.

Then, there was the trip to Random House. I think my kewlness quotient went up about 40% just walking in the door. Rock Star Wendy, my editor, is remarkably nice (and lucid, considering her rock star status). We got to talk covers and blurbs and future projects, and ever since that meeting, I've been walking around making a constant "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! sound in my head.

I'm sure the people around me are thankful I'm not externalizing that.

Then we went to a fancy restaurant down the street. Apparently, Tom Brokaw eats there all the time, although we didn't see him. That's right. Now I run in the same circles as Tom. Actually, we're besties now.

I think MY kewlness quotient is up 40% now too.

My only regret is that there were a few people I really wanted to run into that I didn't get to see. You know who you are. :(

New York, Spaceships, and Time Machines

I'm back from the best New York trip in the history of the known universe. Seriously. After I flew in, Slayer took me out to dinner, and I jabbered on and on about how awesome it was. So he said, "I think the only way it could have been better is if they gave you a million dollars."

"Or my own spaceship," I replied.

Because excitement is not excitement without a Strongbad reference.



I think I've posted that video before, but that was then and this is now, and if I could make now then, I'd be rich on time machine technology. Which I'm not.

Anyway, I'm much calmer after jabbering at Slayer and sending the world's longest email to Super Agent Kate. I'll share little tidbits throughout the next week or so, and there's more Give Backery coming, so I hope you'll stick around.

But I probably won't give you your own spaceship. Sorry to disappoint.

The 2010 Debut Author Challenge: The Dark Divine by Bree Despain

I finally made it through all the Cybils books and onto something new and exciting! Let's hear it for new hotness!

Um... I really hope you didn't cheer there. Because that would be weird.

Anyway, for those of you not in the know, a bunch o'people have vowed to read at least one book a month by a 2010 debut author. Why? Because we are kewl, and because debut writers are kewl, and it just seems natural that we should be kewl together. While it's a little too late for you to join the challenge, I am of the humble opinion that you are kewl too.

Y'know, just so you don't feel left out.

Anyway, my book of the month is The Dark Divine, by Bree Despain. Now, there are a lot of review type things out there. But there's still one thing I wanted to talk about.

The cover.

Oh la la! I am so pretty and purple!

Now, I think this cover is pretty (and purple). But I almost didn't read this book because of the combo of cover and title, because it looks and sounds to me like the kind of book that has lots of heaving bosoms and... uh... ooh la la.

That's my euphemism, and I'm sticking to it.

In my opinion, they didn't match at all to what was inside, which was a paranormal romance best suited to the younger teen/tween crowd, at least in my little reality. But I don't get that at all from the cover. I get heaving and ooh la la.

What does this cover make you expect? And if you've read The Dark Divine, do you think the cover fits the book?

PS - I leave for SCBWI today! Find me and say hello if you're going to be there so we can be kewl together!

My Farewell Committee

I think my funny bone is permanently compromised from lack of sleep. Left screamed until 4 AM this morning. So all I have to say today is that I leave for New York tomorrow, and ain't that kewl?

You're going to New York?!? Awesomesauce! Bye!

Thanks, Richard. It's nice to have my own personal farewell committee. Except that you're only one person, so I guess you don't count as an actual committee. Don't mind me. I'm tired.

New York can be kinda... dangerous.

That's true, Batman, especially for someone as directionally challenged and potentially sleep deprived as I am. Luckily, I know people. I even know people that know people.

Dangerous, schmangerous. If anyone looks at you funny, blast 'em.

We are lucky that I'm too tired to notice if anyone looks at me funny. Very lucky.