100 Special Thirsty Dead Girls Winners!

I love you. Seriously. You = awesome. You made me laugh. You made me laugh so hard that it was tough to choose a winner of the 100 Special Thirsty Dead Girls contest. Which was a little frustrating, but I still love you. I'm unconditional like that.

First, let me give you three runners up. Because it was so close that I nearly had to get out my Magic 8 Ball to choose a winner. For those of you that missed the contest, the rules are simple. All you had to do was create a funny mashup of kidlit titles. To up the snarf factor, you could add an optional summary of the book if you wanted.

First, we've got the always uber awesome Barry Napier. Did you know that Barry writes scary? His horror collection Debris is available now, if you're into that kind of thing. But he can also do snarfy, as evidenced by this:

Good Night Moon + New Moon = Good Night New Moon
A touching bedtime story about a child that learns to say goodnight to everything it encounters...even the semi-gay sparkly vampire, the horribly overdone werewolf and the woe-is-me post-goth clumsy girl that are hiding in the closet.

Then there's storyqueen, whose Good Knight books are practically plastered to my kid's bedroom walls. She's probably right. This has probably been done before. But it's still freaking funny:

Green Eggs and Ham + Hamlet = Green Eggs and Hamlet
Depressed Denmark Prince poisons his stepfather with random foodstuffs.

And then there's lora96, who apologizes for the filthiness of her entry. The summary MAKES this one. I think it's more funny than filthy:

There's a Wocket in My Pocket + Graceling = There's a Wocket in My Graceling
A girl with two different colored eyes and a preternatural ability to make rhymes is accosted by an amorous Dr. Seuss character who sneaks into her book to pursue their forbidden romance.

Awesomely awesome Larissa and CKHB deserve special mentions for using No Pain in their mashups. Picture me salaaming wildly to you now, girls.

But the winner? The winner made me snort out loud. I probably would have actually snarfed, but I wasn't eating at the time.

Jade, you're a genius. You WIN.

Before I Fall + Lament + The Lovely Bones + Going Bovine = Before I Lament the Lovely Bovine
Jessikah has just moved to the town of Spoons and she's certain she'll be miserable. Then she discovers a herd of mysterious bovines in the woods that surrounds the town. One in particular--the white-and-black spotted, Willhelm--calls to her, offering a love she never dreamed possible. But is it worth becoming a cow for?

Message me, oh purveyor of lovely bovines, and I shall send you books.e woods that surrounds the town. One in particular--the white-and-

Translation: Email me your address, Jade! You're awesome! (Okay, it's not an exact translation, but you don't expect me to make SENSE, do you?)

And if you didn't win, never fear! Come back for the April giveaway! And have a pickle. Pickles can cure anything.

I'm hungry now.