Carrie Harris | Young Adult Author

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Author Questionnaire

I'm filling out my author questionnaire now. For those of you not familiar with this monstrosity, it's pretty simple. The marketing department at a publishing house wants to know a lot of things about their authors. Do they have connections in the industry? Any interesting background bits about the author that can be put into the marketing materials? Does the author have the personality of a rock, or are they someone who can be booked for interviews?

Okay, so I'm exaggerating that last one, or maybe not...I don't know for sure but I bet those marketing people could tell some funny stories.

So I'm filling mine out now. And I've learned something about myself: I need to lay off the freaking running gags.

Because every question that comes up? I want to answer one of three ways:
  • "Zombies!"
  • "Richard Simmons!"
  • "ZOMBIE RICHARD SIMMONS!"

And this is great for questions like: "What inspires you?" Because really, it's the truth. Those things really do inspire me. But something tells me I won't be booked for speaking engagements if I list those things as my areas of expertise.

Although it's tempting. People who would book a zombie Richard Simmons expert? Those are my kind of people. You'd come to see me speak on that, wouldn't you?

18 comments:

Stephanie McGee said...

LOL

Good luck with the questionnaire.

Claire Dawn said...

Hellz ya! I mean what matters in life if not Zombie Richard Simmons?

Kristi Helvig said...

At least with responses that mention both zombies and Richard Simmons, they'll know you don't have the personality of a rock! :) Good luck

sraasch said...

Why wouldn't someone want to book a Zombie Richard Simmons expert? I fail to see why this would be anything but a marketing PLUS.

Carolyn V. said...

As long as you promise to talk about the Zombie Richard Simmons, and his cute little shorts.

Christine Fonseca said...

Heck ya! And have fun filling that out!

Jamie Eyberg said...

I would tape that interview and show it to all of my friends and family. They may start to question my own sanity, again.

Adventures in Children's Publishing said...

I love those answers. And they would work equally well in filling out many other forms. My question to play with on forms though is usually the one about gender if they happen to refer to it as sex. So many creative opportunities.

Cate Gardner said...

Oh god, I don't think I'd even achieve rock-like, I'd probably be a pebble.

Myrna Foster said...

I would. Have fun with it!

Mariah Irvin said...

I definitely want to hear you talk about Zombie Richard Simmons for an extended amount of time. You're the expert!

Larissa said...

Carrie, you are hi-freaking-larious! :)

Yes, i would come to hear you speak about Zombie Richard Simmons. In a heartbeat (or, uh, lack of heartbeat).




LOL - Word Verification: joiless: a world without Zombie Richard Simmons.

Anonymous said...

I'd advise redefining your norm and either backing way off, or going whole hog.

If you go absolutely nuts with it, you can just be that cool, kooky, eccentric author. The general public will think, "Oh, that'd be weird for a normal person, but not CARRIE. That's just how she is, it's fine."

You DON'T want to walk the middle road and try to come off as a "normal" author who has a borderline unhealthy obsession with reanimated corpses and white guys with booty shorts and an afro.

Johny Depp can't do just like HALF the weird crap he does, or he wouldn't be that out there, eccentric actor that a lot of people like. He'd just be a nut job. Hmm, actually, he still IS a nut job, but he goes at it full force, and makes it acceptable.

K.C. Shaw said...

The marketing department is probably desperate for zombie Richard Simmons experts. They're counting on you!

Solvang Sherrie said...

Carrie, I'd come hear you speak about anything :D

Susan Kaye Quinn said...

OK, now I'd REALLY like to see what you wrote! :)

Dani. said...

Tee hee, this is random but have you seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ_lXJTaT5g&feature=related

:]

chandra said...

Hey, this is great. Good idea to post your whole submission, thanks
questionnaire

 


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