I AM IN TROUBLE.
How am I supposed to choose my surprising mortal enemy (complete with bragging rights and free signed book)? YOU PEOPLE ARE FUNNY. You gave me epidemiology and statistics humor (did you know that I was a statistician working in public health before I became a full time writer?). You flung Richard Simmons's workout shorts at me. You filled my house with popcorn (unintentional Real Genius reference?). You prank called me. You signed me up for Fabio fan clubs. You wore kilts (and really, anything that involves kilts is a total bonus). You called me Puddles. You sicced roadkill zombie minions on me. You burnt my books and house down.
Uh. I hope you don't intend to ACT on these things, people. Have I mentioned lately that I know ninjas? LOTS OF NINJAS. *shifty eyes*
Anyway, I know I was supposed to choose my mortal enemy yesterday, but I kept reading the entries and giggling maniacally and reminding myself that it was NOT FAIR to choose the winner via eenie meanie meinie moe. I went to bed last night dreaming about your entries. Which was amusing, to say the least.
I'd love to be able to award a book to all of you, but it's just not going to happen. So I'm going to give this one to a longtime reader who clearly knows my sense of humor. As my surprising mortal enemy, she'll be leaping out of the rafters with a sharpened popsicle stick, or flinging Richard Simmons's shorts at me, or tossing dinner at my noggin. And then when I'm not paying attention, she'll dork up my blog. (And them are FIGHTIN' WORDS.)
Tere Kirkland, you'd better look out. I don't intend to just sit back and let you surprising mortal enemize me.
And if you didn't win this month, never fear! I'll be giving more things away in the upcoming months, and there are two opportunities to win open right now! Check out the Class of 2k11 giveaway and Patricia's Particularity blog hop!