Why Zombies Are Better Than Trees

So I recently learned EXCITING THINGS. Like, BAD HAIR DAY is available on NetGalley! If you're a NetGalley reviewer, I hope you'll check it out. I believe that they're doing more NetGalley and fewer printed ARCs, so that's the place to go if you'd like to review an advance copy. YAY!

I also learned that BAD TASTE IN BOYS made it to the Sweet Sixteen for a local school's March Book Madness event. Thank you to Mrs. S and her classes, because that is the awesomest of awesome things!!! Honestly, I squealed. Like out loud. And my kids thought I was a raccoon in the basement, because we had one of those a couple of weeks ago. But it was still cool.

But then I got pretty scared, because my little book of zombie mayhem is up against THE LORAX. That's right--this is probably the only time in my life that I will be in a competition against Dr. Seuss.

That scares me, it does.
It scares me real bad.
It scares me so bad that I called my friend Tad.
Tad is a lad with a dad who is bad.
And none of this has anything to do with anything, but I'm having fun so sue me.

Anyway.

That made me start to think. This is essentially a battle of zombies versus trees, right? And what would that be like?

The zombie would be all lurch, moan, "BRAAAAINS!", and the tree would be all ...... Then the zombie would be all manic flailing, and the tree would be all ...... And the zombie would start gnawing on the bark, and the tree would be all ...... And the zombie would be all brainless tree attacking, and the tree would be all ....... And the zombie would knock the tree down on top of itself, and the tree would be all ...... And the zombie would crawl away minus a few non-essential limbs, and the tree would be dead.

This is why zombies are better than trees. That is all.