And without further ado, here are my tips to get LOTS of blurbs:
- Always make sure to write your favorite authors directly at their personal email address, and call them "Sparkly Merpire Princess" in the salutation. Do this regardless of their gender.
- Figure out where they live, kidnap their dog, and tie your blurb request around its neck. Dress it up like a zombie and send it back. If they don't have a dog but do have a zombie penguin, give me their number. Pinprick (my zombie penguin) is lonely.
- Blurbing is a lot easier if you tell them what to say. Make sure your suggested blurb has at least seventeen adjectives per sentence. Some suggestions: poignant, riveting, emotional, thrilling, sparkly, puce, whack-a-ding-hoy, dillweedy.
- Every blurb request that has been delivered by Richard Simmons was accepted. Keep this in mind, kids.
- Subliminal messages WORK. Write "Blurb my book!" on your forehead with a sharpie and deliver candy to their house. Write one word of your book on each candy and let them have HOURS of fun trying to figure out what order the candies go in.
What other bits of wisdom can YOU throw into the mix?