Monday, May 2, 2011

Excuses, Excuses

My daughters are four, so they are full of excuses (and stories about zombie seahorses, which they told to my friend Kelly as we were ramping up for the most awesome library Skype visit EVAR). And last night, I was telling my husband about this annoying situation, the details of which aren't particularly important. Someone was supposed to do something, and they didn't, and they are full of excuses. And before you start wondering if it's you, IT ISN'T. :)

So he says, "What kind of excuses? The kind the girls use when they don't want to go to bed?" And I thought, THAT'S BRILLIANT! I now have an excuse for all occasions!

I'm sorry, morgage people. I would have paid you, but I'M NOT TIRED!!!!

I'm sorry, officer. I know I was speeding, but I NEEDED THE MUSIC ON!!!!

I'm sorry, editor. I know I owed you a book today, but SHE WON'T GET OUT OF MY BED!!!!

I'm sorry, American Idol. I know it upset you when I said all your contestants look like Muppets, but I NEED PANTS!!!!

That's right. One of my daughters woke up and refused to go back to sleep one night because she wanted pants. It's funny now. At 2 AM, my sense of humor is somewhat impaired.

What's the worst excuse you've ever heard?


SlayerOfBees said...

Add in the, "Can we please come up? We have to poop!" from the Mexico story and you've got quite a well-rounded list. :)

Kelly Jensen said...

i love your kids. seriously.

Mariah Irvin said...

My sister was just like that when she was younger!

Right now my favorite excuse is "But I need more chocolate!"

Valerie Kemp said...

Ooh... this post is hilarious, but um, are you sure it's not about me? (It's okay. I understand if it is!)

Unknown said...

When my 4-yo daughter doesn't want to go to bed, she tells me she can't because her "legs aren't working." Selective leg impairment has been used as an excuse by my older son too, so it might be an epidemic. :)

Anonymous said...

I searched high and low for the clip from Back to School where Billy Zabka wusses out on doing an important dive because of cramps. The main character asks, "Aw, menstrual?" Love it.

No luck finding a clip, but on my quest to find said footage, I DID find youtube videos for Billy Zabka's Tough Guy Gloves, as well as Billy Zabka's Penis Pills.

Seriously. Go look them up. I'll wait.

Carrie Harris said...

Slayer: I think "We have to poop" should be the excuse for EVERYTHING.

Kelly: Of course you do. Because you're completely bizonkers.

Mariah: RIGHT. And you were NEVER like that, right? (That's okay. I was NEVER like that either.)

Valerie: Like I said in my email--NOT. You crack me up.

Kristi: We have that too! QUICK! SOMEBODY CALL THE CDC!!!

Anny: I'm afraid. Very afraid.