Monday, October 22, 2012

Monster Bash: Old Horror Movies You MUST See

It's probably no surprise that I'm really into 80s and early 90s horror. It's just so silly and scary, and who can resist monsters with big hair? NOT ME. So in the spirit of the season, here are a few Halloween classics that you need to pick up the next time you need a good snarf-stuff-out-your-nose viewing experience.

FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2

UR BLOOD. LET ME SUCK IT. ON ROLLER SKATES.

I talk about this one a lot, but it definitely bears mention here. The vampires are back in this sequel, and they're going to take revenge on the nerd who killed off their buddies, only he's pretty much convinced himself that everything that happened in the first movie was a hallucination. This is not the movie you want to watch if you're looking for serious film. Frankly, don't even expect plausibility. Any self-respecting vampire is NOT going to strap on a pair of roller skates to hunt down victims. But watching it happen in slo-mo has to be one of my favorite things ever.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNIGHT

QUICK, GUYS! LET'S FORM A KICK LINE!


This one actually has a pretty interesting premise--Brayker holds the last key containing the blood of Christ, which has been passed down through the generations by demon knights who hold the forces of darkness at bay...and refill the key with their own blood at the end of their service. And Billy Zane is the crazycakes collector who dances around with monsters and swaggers around like a cowboy on crack. I mean that in the most awesome way possible. Frankly, every time I see his face, I get the giggles.

ONCE BITTEN

I CAN'T EVEN FORM A COHERENT THOUGHT. THE SHOCKED VAMPIRES. BAHAHAHA!

So in this movie, Jim Carrey is a virgin, and the vampire countess needs to feed on one before Halloween so she doesn't turn into a freaky nosferatu type. And she's a slut who eats buttons. If you can't tell from the picture above, it's all very SHOCKING. I wish I could tell you more about this one, but I just keep laughing and shaking my head. It's that kind of movie.

Have you seen any or all of these? Let me know! Don't forget that one random commenter on any Monster Bash post will get a collection of all the Grable books. Plus, there are lots of things you can use in your own Halloween celebrations--the playlist is my personal favorite.

2 comments:

Lori M. Lee said...

I think another must see old horror movie is Army of Darkness XD That was a riot.

Kimberly said...

ONCE BITTEN an eleven on the awesome scale. :D