All About the Motivation

I'll admit it: I think zombies are cool. I think Shaun of the Dead and Resident Evil are freaking hilarious. I do not particularly like Rob Zombie, but that's because he just doesn't get the campiness that is the hallmark of the tried and true zombie. Because really, when you think about it, zombies are not scary. What's to be scared about? An old lady with a walker could outrun these dudes. And I'm not really convinced that "uuungh" is a battle cry fit to strike fear into the heart of the intended victim. No, I think that the fun of the zombie is that really, as far as monsters go, they're just plain silly.

But that's Hollywood's take on zombies. I, like just about everyone else in the world, decided that I wanted to write a zombie book. I started it, and lo it was good, but it's not done yet because I don't think the camp factor is quite high enough. Anyway, during the whole writing of the zombie book thing, I did a lot of research, because you've got to decide what kind of zombie you want. Is it going to be an unexplicable rise from the dead? A voodoo kind of thing? A virus? Zombie purists would argue that virus afflicted zombies aren't actually zombies. I would argue that said zombie purist seriously needs a life, but that's just me. Anyway, the point is that I did a lot of zombie type research.

And I came upon this. (Warning that this link is decidedly PG-13... but then again so is this blog, I think.)

And to me, the salient point of that website is simple: some dude somewhere is so persuasive that he can convince people that they're lurching, flesh-eating monsters. Yes, he's got the assistance of frightening levels of mind-altering drugs, but still. Imagine how freaking persuasive this guy is. This is not the average you're-getting-sleepy-and-will-quit-smoking kind of thing. This is more like serve-me-mindlessly-and-lunch-on-your-neighbors.

I think we ought to win that guy over to the good side of the force and make him a motivational speaker. Can't seem to (quit smoking/lose weight/stop picking your nose/whatever)? Go see George the Former Voodoo Bad Guy. Yes, you might end up with a tendency to lurch when you walk, you might moan at random during important conversations, but otherwise your problems will be solved.

See? Why don't world leaders come to me for solutions? Because really, I've got all the answers right here, bay-bee.

And the book tie in for this post is yet to come out, but I'm itching to read it: The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan. Because let's face it, it's a zombie book written by someone named Carrie, which means that it's got to be good.