Making Things a Little TOO Realistic

So recently I finished reading a werewolf book, because I find werewolves about as amusing as zombies. Almost but not quite, because they don't lurch quite as much, and lurching is just plain humorous. Anywho, this book had a great premise and a pretty interesting plot, but I got a little squicked out by it. See, the author made a real point of making the werewolves have wolfy instincts, only the one wolfy instinct that kept cropping up the most was absolute submission to the alpha. Yeah, THAT kind of submission.

Eeeww.

But the whole thing made me think about the concept of werewolves and got me laughing pretty good. See, werewolves are really nothing more than big hairy Cuisinarts. They're huge, and snarly, and they'll quite happily tear your head off and wear it as a bonnet to keep out the sun. What if THEY went overboard with some traditional wolfy type instincts? I'm not thinking submission, although a big hairy Cuisinart rolling around on the floor showing his throat is funny. But even funnier is licking.

Can't you just picture it? The high school couple on a date to lookout point, the full moon emerging from behind a cloud, and Junior turning into a big hairy Cuisinart, fangs and claws glistening in the night. She screams. And then he pounces on her and proceeds to cover her in werewolf slobber.

And seriously, if dogs have doggie breath, what does werewolf breath smell like?

Eeeww.

Lick lick lick lick lick.