Okay. Quick recap for any newbies: In the Event of Famousness is a once-a-month jobbie on The Wonder That Is My Blog. Have you thought about what you're going to do when you're famous? No. That's okay, because I'm thinking about it for you. We've already discussed how to answer those pesky where-do-you-get-your-ideas questions (from the back of the toilet tank, of course) and discussed the hiring and purposes of People (to play the Ewok song on a boom box during special romantic moments).
And today, it's time to discuss the Celebration. What will you do when you sell your first book/win the National Pig Latin Spelling Bee/discover the Lost Outhouse of Tutankhamen? I've been thinking about this a lot, because I'm planning a celebration for when my contract comes.
I'm thinking positive here, not trying to be all coy and hinting that there's a contract. Which there is, only I'd have to invent a time machine and go forward in time to see the person who eventually buys my books and then steal the contract from them and bring it back to our time, and why in the hell would I want to steal from the person who will buy my books in the future? That would be dumb. If I do anything to the future person who buys my books, it will involve sending them a fruit basket, collection of Pez dispensers, or something equally nice.
But seriously. Book is out on submissions. I just like to plan ahead.
So, when book sells, I need to do something to celebrate. Now, I know some other authors have done things like get a tattoo or spend a day at the spa, stuff like that. But we all know that I'm not going to do that. Not to malign the people who have done these things, because they are all very cool but not my style. And that's the thing about the Celebration: it should reflect who you are.
Which means that my Celebration will be snarftastic. Do you think it's egotistical to call myself snarftastic? Because in a roundabout way, I just did.
Unfortunately, I've come up with a few ideas that I really like for my Celebration, and now I can't decide between them. So it's up to you, the band of lunatics that read The Wonder That Is My Blog, to choose for me. There is (or there will be, depending on whether I can get the darned thing to work or not) a poll in the right hand column. Place a vote on how I should celebrate when the contract eventually comes, and I will do it and post evidence on The Wonder That Is My Blog so that you can laugh at my expense. Please vote once, because it's only fair that way. Here are your choices, in tres generic alphabetical order:
1. Batgirl versus Ninjas: You know I'm obsessed with Batman and his eyebrows. So I think it would be fun to make a video. I'll dress up like Batgirl, complete with Batbrows, and I'll choreograph a fight scene with a bunch of ninjas. (Luckily, I know a bunch of ninjas, so this really is possible.) And I shall tape it and post it on The Wonder That Is My Blog for your viewing enjoyment as a part of a The Wonder That Is My Batblog Book Contract Celebration.
2. Costume Party with a Potatocake: I like to throw parties, and you all know that I love costumes, so it's only natural for me to throw a Celebration costume party. And I think I should have a cake. Made out of kartaffelsalat. (That's German potato salad for you newbies.) So if you choose this option, I shall post pictures of the costume party, and of course the cake. Probably no one will eat it, but that means more potato salad for me, so I totally win.
3. Superzombiegirl at the Bus Stop: If you choose this option, I shall spend a weekday dressed up as a superhero zombie, with full makeup and outfit. I will cook lunch, go to the grocery store, and all the other stuff I usually do, only I'd lurch, moan, and wear a cape. I crack up every time I imagine what the other moms at the bus stop will think when they see me in that getup. And of course, I shall post photos on The Wonder That Is My Superzombieblog Book Celebration.
So... it's up to you. What do you think I should do? Feel free to comment below, but know that I'm not going to count your vote unless you actually vote in the poll in the right hand column! And let me know how you plan to celebrate when you make it big.