Thursday, November 13, 2008

Voting and Armpits and Diamonds, Oh My!

Did you vote yet? No, I don't mean Obama versus McCain, which is entirely important but kinda late in the game unless you happen to own a time machine, in which case SEND ME AN EMAIL, because I need to go back in time and tell myself not to loan out those ten books to a certain person, because I haven't gotten them back in a whole year and I want to read them again.

No, I mean voting on the Celebration. See the right hand column for the votishness, and see yesterday's post to figure out what the bleep it means.

Oh, and I know there are some of you who left comments but didn't vote in the sidebar, but I can't figure out who is who. So please, if you left a comment but didn't click the little vote thingy in the right hand column, do the clicky clicky. Because then your voice shall be heard. Democracy is a wonderful thing, especially when it involves Batgirl, kartaffelsalat, and zombie costumes.

Nuff said.

Have any of you seen the new Secret deodorant commercials? I used to work in marketing, and I want to know what dipstick came up with this one. See, they're putting diamonds in some of the deodorant sticks, figuring that all girls want diamonds, so they will therefore sell more deodorant. Except for one thing: they'll be armpit diamonds. Can you imagine scraping a diamond on your armpit and then getting it put on a ring? Every time I looked down at my hand, I'd be thinking, "That was on my armpit. And it still smells like Spring Breeze."

It's like those stories you hear about dogs swallowing engagement rings and then people finding them later... you know, LATER. And still using them. I couldn't get over that either.

I'm not real big on the diamonds anyway. When we went shopping for my engagement ring, the jewelery store peeps kept trying to sell me on these huge rings. I have tiny hands. When the diamond has a larger circumference than your finger, you're in trouble. And then Slayer made matters worse (okay, okay, he made them more entertaining) by demonstrating how every ring I tried on could be used as a weapon. Because, y'know, he's a ninja, and they like turning EVERYTHING into weapons. Except for maybe tampons. I can safely say that Slayer has never tried to turn my tampons into a weapon when we went shopping, but in the event of an attack, I won't make any promises. He'd probably do it to save us. And I would be very grateful for that, but it wouldn't stop me from telling everyone I know about my hubby the tampon ninja.

20 comments:

keri mikulski :) said...

Diamonds in deodorant? Interesting. :)

Tiny T said...

Diamonds in deodorant would just be painful because when one was exposed and actually run across your skin, it's very likely going to cut you or at least leave a mark. What is this deodorant going to cost?!?!

I'm not into diamonds either or big rings, give me a simple celtic knot any day or just a plain band.

If not tampons for weapons then a good remedy for wounds.

Hanna Banana said...

I know somebody who used tampons for weapons, specifically missiles, for G.I. Joes.

Vivi Alden said...

Okay...I would put diamonds in my armpits, but just for like a tiny second, and then I'd clean them 400 times. I'm sorry, I know, disgusting! But they're diamonds!!!! I hate gold and pearls and all that other stuff, but when I got my engagement ring, which was my first official diamond, I was hooked. I had a SPARKLEY!!!!!!!!

K.C. Shaw said...

I don't like giant rings either. The only diamonds I own are teensy little chips around a modest garnet on my favorite ring. If I found a diamond in my deodorant I'm not sure how I'd react. I hope I wouldn't throw it away thinking it was a piece of crud from the deodorant-making process.

Skilli said...

Please PLEASE let me know immediately if Slayer every uses a tampon as a weapon.

There are some people in Japan I'd like to email.

Jamie Eyberg said...

This is one conversation I don't think I am going to get into, woman's deodorant or tampons.
Sorry, no experience with either one.

Lady Glamis said...

I have small hands, too. I have a small diamond, and it still looks big on my finger.

Never thought of using it as a weapon . . .

And knowing my husband, in the right (or wrong depending on how you look at it), he would use feminine supplies as weapons, too. He would never say the word "tampon." *snickers*

Brenda said...

Okay, Hubs uses tampons...he soaks them in doe urine and hangs them in the tree he hunts out of...the bucks smell it and come calling...so would this technically be using a tampon as a weapon?

As for the diamonds...hmmm, could you hock the diamond you find and get you one that hasn't been visiting the armpit? Then you can have it both ways...

I'm not a diamond person either...sapphires for me baby...

Natalie L. Sin said...

On TV I saw a tampon used as a blow dart. Something to think about.

Christy Raedeke said...

Haven't you heard? New marketing research shows that women are just like crows and catfish - dangle something sparkly in front of us and we lunge at it. Even if it's to slather in our stinky crevices...

Mary said...

I don’t lust after diamonds. But if they put book deals in their deodorant... I’d buy it!

Carrie Harris said...

Keri: That's one word for it. Dumb is another one. :)

Tiny T: Yep. You'll have an armpit diamond scar, which will be very difficult to explain, I think.

Hanna: I'm sure GI Joe was scarred for life. HEH.

Vivi: Well then, if I get an armpit diamond, I know who to give it to.

KC: I'm a chip girl too. Hey, they still sparkle, and they can't take your eye out.

Skilli: Hey, if someone was threatening our kids and he had to bink some guy in the eye with a tampon... no, he could just use his finger. Never mind. ;)

Jamie: Sorry to exclude you. What should I talk about next time? I know nothing about monster trucks and football.

Glamis: He would never say the word? What would he call it?!?

Brenda: Actually, I think that's using a tampon as a lure, which is just as disturbing if not moreso. :)

Natalie: Um... didn't the cotton stuff just bounce off the target?

Christy: Wow. That's a stirring mental image I'm not likely to forget in the near future. Thanks, I think. ;)

Mary: I'd be in line right behind you, sister!!!

Kelly said...

Diamonds, and tampons, and deodorant, Oh my! (hmmmm, anyone ever think these words would all be in one sentence and a blog entry?!)
I voted! (where's my sticker? I want to put it on my armpit)

adrienne said...

My diamond fell out of my ring at my last place of employment (which went out of business shortly after - I think the universe really wanted me out of there).
Okay, so I'm off to buy deodorant ;)

Suzanne Casamento said...

You're ridiculously hilarious. I'm envisioning your husband the ninja flailing about yielding tampons.

I look forward to your comedy every day. : )

Anne Spollen said...

I'll wait for them to put a diamond in my tampon.

But that's just me...

Rena said...

I don't know what's more disturbing here -- putting diamonds on your armpits or Brenda's husband soaking tampons in deer pee. :-O I just moved to the mountains where hunting is a big deal. I'll definitely have to ask around on that one. ;)

I voted for the zombie costume and you will take pictures, right?

Carrie Harris said...

Kelly: That's definitely going in my list of giveaway items for the future. Forget bookmarks; I'm doing armpit stickers.

Adrienne: Aw! Sorry to hear about your ring. I'll send you good luck deodorant vibes.

Suzanne: And after reading this blog, he was telling me tonight about how he'd actually use them. HAH!

Anne: I was trying to think about how that would work, and I scared myself.

Rena: Of course! I'll post pictures or video, depending on what option y'all choose.

sruble said...

I voted. Deodorant diamonds? Eewwww! Almost as disgusting as the dog diamonds you mentioned.

Slayer is hilarious.

I wish I had stuck to what my original thoughts on a ring were. That's all I'm saying. No wait, I'll add, I love my ring, but it's a weapon against me. That's all.