I think there aren't enough contractions in the world. And when I say this, I'm talking about the grammatical kind of contractions and not the kind that make you scream nasty things to your spouse whilst in labor.
(I didn't do that. We played Apples to Apples instead. Slayer was smart; he let me win.)
Anyway, in today's Twitterverse, it's important to preserve as many characters as possible, so I think the world needs more contractions. That's my official stance, anyway. In reality, I just think that it's fun to come up with random contractions. For example, Slayer and I were watching Chopped the other night. (Mark of a good spouse: will watch cooking shows with you.) And we were trying to come up with the most disgusting things that you could have in the basket to cook with. He won hands down with squid and Pop Tarts.
I'll pause a moment to let that sink in before I make the image even worse.
So after he suggested this amazing flavor combo, I suggested a name for it. A contraction-type name. Squ'arts. Somehow, that name makes it even worse. That name makes me giggle. Slayer thinks it sounds like the name of an unfortunate bodily function. I think it completely suits the taste sensation that is squid-flavored Pop Tarts.
Of course, this got me started. Think about how easier it would be to type if you could get away with Wa'rt instead of Wal-Mart. Or Dunk'nuts instead of Dunkin Donuts. I'm no longer serving chicken nuggets at our house; they will now be known as ch'uggets. I'll give them to my kids with some po'hips.
Is it just me, or does that make me sound vaguely street? Yo, homes, can I get me some ch'uggets and some po'hips?