Things That Make Me Snarf - Batman Dog

The only way this video could get any better is if the dog also said, "Pow!" "Kazaam!" and "THWAP!"



Really. Am I the only person out there who wants to hear a dog say "THWAP"?

See you next week, peeps. Lots of out of town guests coming tomorrow. Maybe some of them will have dogs. If any of those dogs say THWAP, I will give you all cookies. With money in them.

Geek Hand Signs

Recently, I was talking with Scillius Maximus about bloggy type stuff, and about the Semi Secret Order of the Blog Ninja and schtuff. And he says all of us Semi Secret Order types should have a hand sign. So like if you were at SCBWI, and you didn't know anybody, you could flash the hand sign and immediately a bunch of other Semi Secret people would flock to you out of shadowy corners. Which would be really cool.

I've been thinking about this ever since. And this morning, I Googled "geek hand signs." And all I found was this:

Yo.

Don't get me wrong. This is cool and all, but I think it's totally unfair that computer geeks get gang signs (and a t-shirt!) and the rest of us geeks are totally unrepresented.

But then I thought, "Hey, maybe all is not lost. Maybe there ARE other signs, and my Google-Fu is to blame." So I Googled "zombie hand signs."

Apparently, if you want to flash a zombie hand sign, you first have to tunnel underground. Not exactly user friendly.

Then I figured maybe I should go for something a little more mainstream. Vampires have got to have some good hand signs, right? And I got this.

Now you know, people. The vampires aren't the sparkly ones. They're the guys with clay gargoyles on their palms.

Disclaimer: I know this is a Vampire Hunter D reference. I have not lost any Geek Credits in the writing of this blog.

I should also mention that when I Googled "vampire hand signs," I got a picture of the pope.

And then when I Googled "merpire hand signs"? I got THIS.



It's true. You can try it yourself. And I'm speechless.

Stupid Fairies

My brain = mush. I'm done editing, but now I'm walking around the house aimlessly trying to refamiliarize myself with real things. Unfortunately, while I was editing, some fairies broke into my house, ate all the food, got all the clothes dirty, and didn't do the dishes.

Stupid fairies.

I'll be back tomorrow with things that are funny. In the meantime, any ideas on how to get rid of malicious house fairies would be appreciated.

In the meantime, you could go read about the lunch I had with Kristina McBride, JT Dutton, and some seriously awesome book bloggers. Or you could go read my latest interview, in which I pretend that I know what I'm talking about to Beth.

Or you could come do my laundry. I wouldn't mind.

Monsterize Me!

I SHOULD be editing. I'm way behind after we had a couple of huge storms this weekend and my daughters nearly got blown away by gale force winds. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but it was still pretty massive. No power for three days. But I woke up this morning to electricity and an email from Animegirl! She sent me a link to Monster High, where I found lots of fun monsterriffic things. Have you been wondering what I would look like as a merpire? Of course you have.



And now you know. Thanks for the email, AG! You are made of monster sized awesome. If you make a monster, I wanna know what kind.

Ninja Fail?

I've been auditioning random ninjas for my Batgirl versus Richard Simmoninja video. (Because, you know, I run into random ninjas a lot on the street.) I thought you might enjoy seeing how it's going.



Luckily, I know a lot of ninjas that are much better than these goobs. And they don't mind dressing up in gi tops, short shorts, and afro wigs.

Extensive Editing

I'm alone in the house for a good portion of the day today, because the grandparents have taken Left, Right and Center so I can edit my butt off. I should pause to note that my kids aren't really named Left, Right, and Center, but their initials are L, R, and C, and you'll never guess how they usually end up in photos. This is handy because Left and Right are identical twins. When we took them home from the hospital, we had to paint their toenails until we learned which one was which. I should also note that I'm not literally editing my butt off. I've edited a lot of words from this book, so much so that I honestly think only five have survived from the original draft, and all of them are "the." But I plan to keep my butt where it is, just in case you were wondering.

Anyway, I have something to declare today--I am an extensive editor, and I'm proud of it. Yes, there are many authors out there who manage to turn out pristine first drafts in which more than five words end up in the finished product. They exist. I happen to know a few of them, and I'll admit to occasional bouts of insane jealousy. BUT.

I'm still proud to edit the bleep out of my mannies.

Part of this is because I know some fabulously talented Extensive Editors. (And you know who you are.) And I admire their dedication to their craft, and their determination to GET THAT BLINKING SENTENCE RIGHT IF IT KILLS THEM, and their desire to learn as much as possible about the art of writing. And then I think, "Um, Sparkly Merpire Princess?" Because that's what I call myself in my head. "Maybe you should give yourself a little credit too? Because you're doing the same thing they're doing."

I have to concede the point. Why does it matter how many drafts it takes you to get a great book? It takes as many as it takes. If you're an extensive editor, give yourself some credit for dedication to YOUR process. It works for you. Be proud of it. The Sparkly Merpire Princess told you to.

Disclaimer: I love you pristine first drafters too. I just gnash my teeth in envy while sending you hugs and sparkles.

Things That Make Me Snarf - Bloopers

I SHOULD be editing. But I've spent way too much time watching Two and a Half Men bloopers.



And now, I've corrupted you too.

Cheater!

I have a confession to make today. I'm a cheater. I cheated, in fact, on the ARC and poster giveaway. No, really.

I did things the way I usually do. I got out my list of entries, opened up Random.org, and had it pick a number. And when I got to the eventual winner, I had to laugh. A couple of weeks back, I asked my husband, aka Slayer of Bees, to sign up for my newsletter to make sure that it worked. He did, because he likes me, and because it'll keep me from abbreviating his nickname to SoB. (BTW, that abbreviation was UNINTENTIONAL. That's my story, and I'm sticking by it.)

Guess who won the ARC and the poster? My husband. Sorry, honey, but you can't have it. But as requested, I'm inducting you into the Semi Secret Order of the Blog Ninja instead, for all those ideas you give me for both blog and books, even if 75% of them are unusable due to perviness.

So I did the unthinkable. I chucked the name of the first winner and tried again. And without further ado, the REAL winner of my very first ARC (when it shows up) and the poster print of my webpage is...

JL Hill!

Congrats, JL! Why don't you drop me an email at carrie (at) carrieharrisbooks (dot) com, and we'll make arrangements to get your prizes to you!

And to everyone else, I hope to be able to give out a couple more ARCs when they show up, but of course it all depends on how many I get. I'll keep you posted!

Batpeople of the World, Unite!

Many of you are new, so you may not know that way back in the day, I let my blog readers vote on what I should do in honor of my first book. And you all decided that, since I happen to know a lot of ninjas, that I should do a video about Batgirl (that would be me) versus the ninjas (that would be them). I now have a basic plot, a stunt double, and actors.

Soon, you will be able to see Batgirl versus the Richard Simmoninja here at the purple tinted amazingness that is my blog! YAY!

But in the meantime, please watch Batman have a moment of introspection.



And today is the last day to sign up for ze newsletter and be entered to win the first ARC of Bad Taste in Boys along with a poster print of my home page. Don't you want a ninja catgirl and pirate djinn to hang over your living room or writing space? Of course you do. The newsletter signup is underneath my profile in the right hand column. Thanks to those of you who sent feedback that it was tough to find. I'll tackle fixing that this week.

Random Things for Friday

I know I sound like a broken record, but I wanted to be sure that everyone knows. I'm giving away my first ARC (when I receive said ARCs, of course) and a poster print of my gorgeous home page to one person who signs up for my newsletter. You need to register and VERIFY VIA EMAIL if you haven't done that yet. If you don't verify, your email address doesn't pop up on my handy dandy spreadsheet. And that would be bad. Sign up by Monday to be entered.

Today, there's an interview up with yours truly over at Mireyah's blog. The girl asked me a seriously CRUEL question. You should read it. I'm still in pain, and pain is funny.

I'm back in the edit cave again. Sorry to make this short, but you have a choice. Witty blog from me, or a book that doesn't suck. I'm assuming you want the book that doesn't suck. You do, don't you?

WTF Thursday - Now with an ARC Giveaway!

Wow. I have lots of new followers. *peers out of computer screen* Hello, people. I like you. Did you do something different with your hair today? It looks really nice.

Oh, and just in case you don't already know, I am promising my first ARC and a poster print of my homepage (arrived yesterday; made of AWESOME) to one lucky person who signs up for my newsletter! There's a link right under my profile here on the blog. Sign up before Monday to be entered!

Remember how I said yesterday that I'm working on a new book? Don't say things like that out loud. Because then edits arrive for one of your old books, and you have to put the shiny new project aside and disappear into the edit cave for a couple of weeks. I bet the Edit Fairies are laughing at me right now.

So, before I jaunt off to the cave for the morning; I have this to say: You people are awesome. A lot of you have been reading my website and sending me new monster math creatures, like the octocorn and the leprasiren. At this rate, I'll need a new website in about a month. Really, I just want an excuse to design more stuff for Manning, because it's just THAT FUN.

Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want

Yeah, I just quoted the Spice Girls. So sue me.

Anyway, how are you this fine day? I'm doing peachy fine. Working on a new book now, a middle grade, and that's a lot of fun. Who else out there writes in multiple genres? Do you find it easy to switch from one to the other? So far, it's been okay for me, but we'll see what happens when I get the next round of edits on Bad Taste in Boys. Keepeth thine fingers crossed for me.

Speaking of Bad Taste in Boys, don't forget that signing up for my newsletter will qualify you to win the first ARC! I'm not sure when they'll come, but you'll get it, along with a poster print of my home page. There's a handy dandy sign up link in the right hand column. So get thine butt over there!

I don't know what's up with the archaic language, either.

AND, if that's not enough for you, stop over at Candyland's blog! She's doing a fab contest with lots of different giveaways, including critiques by yours truly, phone calls with agents, and full manuscript edits by real live editors! (As opposed to manuscript edits by dead editors, which isn't cool. All they do is scribble "BRAINS!" in the margins.) And the whole thing benefits Joy 2 the World, a non-profit dedicated to helping the women of Ghana. It's awesome. Go checketh it out.

My Website! And Prezzies!

I'm not going to talk a lot today, because as you can see, I have a new website that is MADE OF WIN. This gorgeous little baby was designed by Manning Krull. Manning is MADE OF WIN SQUARED. I also suspect that he's psychic, because I would send him three sentences describing what I wanted each illustration to look like, and then he picked the drawings out of my head and put them onto paper.

Manning, if you're reading this, I would like to know the lotto numbers.

So, I encourage you to look around my website and enjoy the awesomeness. If you click on my name above, it takes you to my snazzy home page, which you MUST SEE. But before you do...it gets awesomer.

Visit my website and look round for the newsletter. If you sign up, you'll get free short stories from me, updates on my appearances, and special access to newsletter only contests! And I'm doing one of those newsletter only contests this week! Oh frabjous day!

Ahem. But seriously. I will do a random drawing of newsletter recipients ONLY on Monday July 19. The winner will receive two awesome prezzies. First, you'll get a poster of the monster prom image from my home page. That's right; you can have a pirate djinn and ninja werecat of your very own! AND, I will promise you the first of my haven't-arrived-yet ARCs.

That's right. This is my first official ARC giveaway, and I haven't even gotten them yet. But I am a rebel, and I can't sit on this website any longer. So. Let me know what you think of it, and sign up for the newsletter! I'll announce the winner of the poster and the ARC on Tuesday. Whee!

To clarify: I REALLYREALLYREALLY want to hear what you think about the website! But in order to win, you need to sign up for my newsletter.

And in the meantime, I've got to ask: It was my goal to have the kewlest author site ever. Did I succeed?

I'm Baaack!

I have returned from Ye Great Vacation! Yay! Double yay! Whee!

Uh, guys? Why am I the only one jumping and hollering like an idiot? You're supposed to...oh, never mind.

Anyway, I am going to keep things short today, because I am putting together some Major Awesomeness for tomorrow. Like as major as the cover-related awesomeness. You will need to come back tomorrow. You can win things. Awesome things. Bad Taste in Boys related things...

Dum dum DUM.

But for now, please enjoy Christopher Walken's version of the Three Little Pigs.

BAD TASTE IN BOYS cover!

I have a cover.

This is so awesome that not even Richard Simmons could make it awesomer. I LOVE MY COVER DESIGNER SO MUCH THAT I WOULD KISS HER IF IT WASN'T BOTH WEIRD AND PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. (It's physically impossible because she is in New York, and I am in Michigan, and my lips are not that big.)

Anyway. Here is my cover. You can look at it all next week, because I am taking a vacation and won't be around. Let the lips mesmerize you. You know you want to.



Isn't it spookysexyawesome? I WANT TO LICK THIS COVER. Imagine me running around next week going EEEEEEE! the entire time. Sadly enough, that's probably how I will spend the entire vacation.