Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm Baaaaack

I'm back from the realm of the accidental Internet hiatus. And when I say 'accidental,' I really mean that I'm absolving myself of all guilt related to temporarily abandoning The Wonder That Is My Blog. Frankly, the thing has taken on a life of its own, and I was a little surprised to see that it didn't update itself.

See, it's not my fault. It's my blog's fault for not developing artificial intelligence in my absence. I missed you desperately. Do you still love me?

But anyway, baby got back, except my first name ain't baby, it's Carrie--Ms. Harris if you're nasty. (Hello, random music references!) It was a good holiday. I got fake eyebrows and a copy of the Zombie Survival Guide for Christmas, so I am quite pleased. I got a lot of other good stuff too, but it's not as snarftastic.

The whole Baby Got Back thing reminds me of college. I was a dance major for a while there; I did modern and jazz, mostly because ballet brings out my desire to mosh. A lot of ballet dancers have sticks up their hoo-hoos, which is helpful when it comes to staying on pointe but not so much when it comes to not acting like a biscuit. So it takes all of the self-restraint I've got not to mosh all over their tutued butts.

Anyway, I avoided ballet and took other things, and during one of my jazz workshops, we did a routine to Baby Got Back. And me and this other girl, let's call her Boob Talker, used to act out all of the spoken word stuff at the beginning. Because, let's face it: that spoken word stuff is snarftacular.

"Oh. My. God. Becky, look at her butt!"
"It is so BIG."

You're probably wondering why I chose the name Boob Talker, aren't you? See, I don't remember her name, which is pretty pitiful because we had a lot of dance classes together. The one thing I remember about her is that she had a tattoo of a wolf on one breast and the moon on the other. So one of her boobs howled at the other one. For some reason, that always freaked me out.

Not quite as bad as the one girl who intentionally wore her dance tights everywhere because they... er... gave her happy alone feelings. And then she'd talk about it constantly in the dressing room. Then one day I forgot my tights, and she offered to let me wear hers. Er... no. I'd rather wrap myself in toilet paper and duct tape, thanks very much.

I'm sure I'm going somewhere with this, but I have no idea where. I guess that the discussion points to this entry are that I've returned and dancers are strange.

Happy snarftastic new year, peeps. And take a word of advice from me: get your own damned tights.

16 comments:

Natalie L. Sin said...

Welcome back, Kotter : )

Big Plain V said...

Like I said on your equally neglected Facebook: the internet just wasn't the same without you.

(And if I wasn't married, I'd want Boob-Talker's number.)

Jamie Eyberg said...

My wife will be so happy when she gets home from work. Okay- I'm happy you are back as well.

Lady Glamis said...

It is so nice to have you back! I really did miss you and your random posts. This one is pretty darn random, too. Made me chuckle.

*does happy dance that Carrie is back*

*tries to get Baby Got Back out of her head*

Thanks a lot.

Tabitha said...

Welcome back! Hope you had a good holiday!

And I gotta ask...is it weird that I'm actually happy that the Baby Got Back is now stuck in my head? Cause, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer has been stuck in my head for the past two weeks...I'm glad it won't be back for another year.

Rena said...

Welcome back! LMAO @ boob talker and the tights lady. It's amazing you turned out so normal!

Aaron Polson said...

I had a kid write an informative speech about apocalyptic survival with The Zombie Survival Guide as a chief reference. Great book.

Carrie Harris said...

Natalie: Yeah, that one was going through my head too. :)

BPV: Yeah, the normalcy rating went up at least two notches while I was gone, didn't it?

Jamie: Tell your wife I missed her too. ;)

Glamis: I'm here to serve. I could teach you some of the moves if you want to dance. My instructor took most of them from Salt N Pepa videos.

Sadly, I'm not kidding there. I could give Pepa a run for her money.

Tabitha: Like I said, I'm here to serve. Although now I'm singing Rudolph Got Back. Snarf.

Rena: You call this NORMAL!?!?!? ;)

Aaron: Isn't it? If the zombie apolcalypse comes, I want Max Brooks in my posse. Me, him, and a bunch of ninjas.

Elizabeth said...

This is an automated response from Inside My Oyster:
Welcome back. Happy New Year!

Bryan B. said...

(PREVIOUS COMMENT DELTED FOR REASONS OF SARCASSM)

Yes, spelled wrong intentionally...

Um...well, welcome back.

C.R. Evers said...

Carrie, you're on my list for the top funniest blog! :0) I laugh every time I come here.

or maybe it's gas. No. no. I'm sure it's laughter, cause my giggle meter goes up.

Anyway, love the blog, can't wait to see what is in store for you in 2009!

Christy

Mariah Irvin said...

It's nice to read your amusing anecdotes again.
Oh yeah, I got a blog! After reading all of your random posts I decided I needed one of my own.
Happy New Year!

K.C. Shaw said...

Hey, there you are! Glad you're back, although I'm another one who's now got Baby Got Back stuck in my head.

Happy new year!

Christina Farley said...

Welcome back. I've enjoyed your blog.

Happy New Year!

Catherine J Gardner said...

Happy New Year, Carrie. :)

Kelly said...

Happy New Year, Carrie! The cousins were singing Jingle Bells and Christmas songs into the megaphone this past weekend for the big family celebration. But my 6 year old daughter also sang the chorus of "Baby Got Back". Seriously!