Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Things That Make Me Snarf: Tom Cruise is a Zombie

Attention Jamie, Vivi, Ello, Tiny T, Brenda, and Elizabeth. I regret to inform you that you are on the same wavelength as me. Please do not panic. It's not so bad. People will look at you funny, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that you are indeed doing something deliberately funny at the time. But trust me when I say that it's not so bad.

You get invited to a lot of parties.

But seriously, I agree with these people. Tom Cruise may have played Lestat in the movies, but he's totally the couch jumping zombie, only instead of saying, "BRAAINS!" he says "SCIENTOLOGY!" (And Elizabeth, you in particular are reading my mind with the Scientology comment and your suggestions for another round. Be afraid. Be very afraid.) Jake Ryan is the werewolf, and I'll tell you how I know: it's the sideburns. Werewolves have very nice, very well-defined sideburns. This may in fact push me off the werewolf/vampire fence and strongly into werewolf territory, because for some weird reason, I find sideburns really sexy.

All of you people who are on the wavelength as me don't need to follow my lead on that one (especially Jamie, because that would be really odd). It's okay if you deviate from my good example every once in a while. Just don't make it a habit or I'll send Tom Cruise after you.

And Pee Wee is the vampire. Red lips, pasty complexion, and a bow tie. That's my justification right there, bay-bee.

And on that note, here's something that makes me snarf. It's particularly amusing if you imagine Tom Cruise as the Zombie King.

14 comments:

Jamie Eyberg said...

I have got to stop reading your post when I eat breakfast. Orange juice through the nose burns.

Tabitha said...

I second that, Jamie. It's dangerous to my computer, too, spraying tea everywhere. :)

Bryan B. said...

It makes me sad when I think about Drew Carey hosting a game show. Because that stuff was comedic genius second only to the stuff I've read on www.jedininjahomeboy.com Now, that guy's amazing. ..

Tiny T said...

Snarf! :)

Catherine J Gardner said...

You are so wrong. :/)

Aaron Polson said...

Noooooo! Pee Wee is not suave enough to be a vampire! Bela Lugosi is rolling around in his grave! Somebody dig him out!

Natalie L. Sin said...

Either way, Tom Cruise is to be feared.

Vivi Alden said...

Woohoo!! I got it right!

But I still think Tom could be all three. The bug in his brain is a multi-tasker.

Lady Glamis said...

Wow. Carrie. You. Are. Strange.

I'm not on the same wavelength as you, but trust me, my wavelength is just as strange in many instances....

Kelly said...

Agreed on the Tom Cruise zombie thing...but actually an alien makes even more sense!

Brenda said...

Were your ears burning today? I was telling someone about your blog and how much I snarf when I read it...and can you believe they didn't know what "snarf" was...I told them they needed to educate themself and read your blog!

I made sure to tell them you were the all mighty when it came to batman eyebrows...in case they had a question...snarf...snarf...

Big Plain V said...

I had a comment here earlier, where did it go?

Your blog ate me comment. I'm sure it was tasty and delicious, but really, that doesn't excuse anything.

(that 'www.jedininjahomeboy.com' really is amazing - from an empirical perspective)

Carrie Harris said...

Jamie: Step back from the orange juice, and no one gets hurt. ;)

Tabitha: Repeat what I said to Jamie, but replace the oj with tea. Heh.

Bryan: Ahem. And exactly where do _I_ fit in this continuum of comedic genius?

Tiny T: Yes, I agree. ;)

Cate: Can't disagree with that one either. LOL

Aaron: That's the beauty of it. Can't you imagine Pee Wee in the remedial vampire class?

Natalie: You are SOOO right. No couch is safe from him.

Vivi: Maybe he has multiple personalities, and one is a vamp, one is a wolfie, and one eats brains. Who knows?

Glamis: And you're just figuring that out?!?

Kelly: Ooooh. A game of vampire, werewolf, or alien may be in order. Good idea!

Brenda: Happens to me all the time! It's a part of my mission to educate the world on the wonders of snarfology. :)

BPV: Tom Cruise probably came down in his spaceship and beamed up your comment. Sorry. Be careful, lest ye incur the wrath of Tom.

Bryan B. said...

You're one of the funniest people I know.

But, I do hang out with teenagers 99% of the time.

So, take that for what it's worth.

If I had to rank you, it would be second.

Me/Ray - tied for 1st
You - second (but not that close)