Carrie Harris | Young Adult Author

Thursday, July 2, 2009

White Rabbit Time

We had a huge party last night for all of Slayer's coworkers, which means that I spent a lot of time making potato salad yesterday. (I also refused to wear shoes during the party, which sounds like some major political declaration but was really due to the fact that I crammed all this junk into the shoe closet and was afraid to open it in front of anyone.) Anyway, what with all the wild partying going on, I neglected to write a blog entry for this morning.

I know. I should be flogged with a wet noodle. You're going to be without me all next week too; however will you survive?

So here I am: late at the whole blogging thing, and with no idea whatsoever as to what I should blog about. And you know what that means: Randomness a la Carrie, which sounds kind of like a dish you'd find at a fancy restaurant. I'd like to eat at that restaurant, but maybe that's just me being a little egotistical. Or self-cannibalistic; I'm not sure.

Am I the only person around who finds the whole idea of cannibalism fascinating? I'm not imagining it in detail or anything, just thinking about it in general. (Except that I am absolutely sure that people taste like chicken, because really, what else would they taste like? Pop Rocks?) Like, there's a tribe in Papua New Guinea, or at least there used to be, and they ate all their relatives after death. Only one of them caught a deadly infectious disease, and that kind of put an end to it all. But still, deadly infectious disease notwithstanding, isn't that a strange way to say you love someone? I'd rather send a Hallmark card that says something like: "No one can beat you/You are so neat, too/But don't you worry; cause I won't eat you."

It's the anti-cannibalistic love card. Maybe it could be one of those musical cards, and maybe it would play this song:



Actually, I don't think that really makes sense; that song should probably go in the PRO-cannibalism card. I like the song anyway. And really, you can't go wrong with a singing cannibalistic plant. They should probably have Hallmark cards for singing cannibalistic plants too. Frankly, I think they should have Hallmark cards for EVERYTHING. I keep waiting for someone to send me a hope-you-had-a-good-party-even-though-you-didn't-wear-shoes card, but it hasn't happened yet.

17 comments:

Jamie Eyberg said...

I wonder if different people would taste differently. 'Hey, he looks a little lean, for for the beefier guy. I bet he's fork tender.' Okay, that didn't sound the way I wanted it to.

MeganRebekah said...

Can you imagine all the fun greeting cards that could be created?

"Sorry I dumped you last night. Would you mind if I date your brother?"

"I'm glad that you avoided being bitten by a zombie last night. I hear Richard Simmons was not so fortunate..."

The possibilities are endless

Kiersten said...

Well, I sent that to you in an email. Clearly it should have been an e-card, though.

Speaking of cannibalism, daughter has been obsessed with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory lately and watching the Johnny Depp version. He makes a LOT of cannibalism jokes. You two should totally hang out.

Alan W. Davidson said...

LOL - Well done, Carrie...didn't think it possible to fit potato salad, restaurant, cannibalism, wild partying, pop rocks and Hallmark into the same conversation. I bow down to your greatness!

Aaron Polson said...

Cannibalism? Yes...I think I should go make lunch now. Starting to get sooo hungry.

Kelly said...

I'm afraid to ask what you served with your potato salad... ;)

Natalie L. Sin said...

Audrey 2 had a BEAUTIFUL voice.

Solvang Sherrie said...

omigosh, Little Shop of Horrors is one of my favorite movies ever. And if you want major cannibalism, how about some Sweeny Todd, the Butcher Baker from Fleet Street. Johnny Depp makes it so attractive :)

Carrie Harris said...

Jamie: Maybe it didn't sound like you wanted, but I still get you. I get you, man. ;)

Megan: That sounds like a contest in the making, mon cheri. Heh.

Kiersten: I'm not sure I should hang out with Johnny Depp. I don't think I could keep from doing my Captain Jack impression, which is really horrible. I mean, horribly funny. I hope.

Alan: Finally! Someone who gets what I'm trying to do here!

Aaron: You're not having a chicken sandwich, are you?

Kelly: Hamburgers, hot dogs, and venison. Mmmmm... venison. No soylent green anywhere in sight. ;)

Natalie S: Didn't she? Reminds me a little of Celine Dion.

Sherrie: Isn't that movie awesome? And I keep wanting to see Sweeney Todd but haven't yet.

K.C. Shaw said...

I thought you'd left early for your vacation. Now I know you just DON'T LOVE US.

It's July. Shoes should be optional.

abrokenlaptop said...

Shoes are always, always optional! But then, I wore combat boots under my wedding dress.

I was in a deep heart-to-heart about somebody concerning cannibalism the other day. He was all, "I was taught to eat what you kill," and I was all, "Yeah, but does that include PEOPLE?!" and it was all very funny and bizarre. And I shall never tick that man off, EVER. Ever.

Enjoy your vacation!

-Mercedes

Kelly H-Y said...

LOL!

Danyelle said...

You crack me up! :D

Angela said...

I bet those people who walk around with onion or garlic breath would actually have an advantage in the yum category, too--built in seasoning.

~Jamie said...

haha lately i can't get enough of the little shop of horrors... I've been listening to suddenly seymour on repeat for a week...

Jeanne said...

Came to visit by way of Barb's, who won your "Funny Book Title Involving Superheroes" contest.

This post makes me think of a joke I once heard:

One frog is going down on another frog. The first looks up and says, "Hey, they're right! We do taste like chicken!"

Susan Sandmore said...

Hope you had a good party even though you didn't wear shoes!

 


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