I died today.
I have one of those Google alert thingies, because I like knowing when people talk about me. Actually, scratch that. I like knowing when people say nice things about me. I think there should be a "nice things only" button on Google. Not that anyone has said anything particularly nasty about me to date, but I'm going to be a published author, and I think it's inevitable that someone somewhere is eventually going to call all the barf jokes in my book 'childish,' and then I will sit here and haughtily inform my computer that I'm NOT childish, and vomiting is a universal experience that we all share, young and old. And if they didn't have such a stick up their hoo hoo, maybe they'd understand that.
Of course, after that, I'll realize that I'm yelling at my computer, and that's pretty childish. So I'll have to concede the point.
Either way, that button would be awfully handy. Could you work on that Google? I'll use it when I'm not dead any more.
I have to admit that it was weird to get a Google alert about my own obituary. I read it. Partly because I know my friends ARE strange enough to submit my obit without my knowledge, and I think that would be pretty funny. (And childish!) And part of it is because I wanted to know more about the me that died. And then I started thinking about when I'm 90 and eventually go up to the big Zombieland in the sky, and some other Carrie Harris gets a Google Alert that their obituary is up, and how embarrassed they'll be to have the same name as a lunatic like me. I'm preemptively sorry, Carrie. Your name has a long tradition of childishness and zombie-related nonsense. I hope you'll carry on the tradition proudly. Lots of caffeine is very helpful in this pursuit.
Yeah, I think I might finish my book today, tomorrow at the latest. It's making me a little slappy. Can you tell?
For a dead chick, I'm awfully spry.