Because they were, right?
Then, we went to see the Purdue marching band play at our high school, because our high school is kewl. And because it was my birthday weekend (and because I'm the prom queen), they played Thriller. It looked something like this.
The only real difference is that it was darker, and we were in a smaller stadium, and there was this crazy chick in a sparkly pink tiara who started shrieking and giggling at the beginning of the song and didn't stop until long after it was over. That chick may have been me.
And then? As if it couldn't get any better? I got a book with zombie cows in it. There was a bunch of other, intensely cool stuff, but I'd like to focus on the zombie cows. Because really, how cool is that? I think I'm in love now. Not in the I-want-to-marry-you-and-have-your-babies kind of way, because I'm quite happy with my ninja, thank you. But in an I'd-like-to-be-your-Padawan-but-only-if-I-don't-have-to-have-that-stupid-braid-that-looks-like-an-80s-rattail way.
Yes, A. Lee Martinez, I mean you. You write about zombie cows and yeti infestations in freezers and robots. I love you, man, and I'm saying that in the drunk and don't really mean it kind of way. If you have not discovered A. Lee Martinez, let me put it to you this way: He's in my Snarfalicious Hall of Fame. He's THAT funny. You should read his books, people. Srsly.
Although I should probably mention that there is some hubba hubba and some ouchie ouch. That would be sex and violence, for those of you no longer in preschool. But it's FUNNY sex and violence.