Carrie's Guide to Casting Your Movie

The other day, I was talking to my best friend about how strange it is to think that other people will be reading No Pain, No Brain next year. People I don't know, even. And they won't see my characters the way I do. I don't think that's a bad thing, but it sure feels surreal.

So she says, "Yeah, but think about how it would feel if they made a movie or tv show or something, and they cast someone who looks completely different from your mental picture?"

I've decided that the best way to avoid this problem is to pre-cast the movie, so any future casting directors will know exactly who I have in mind. I know they won't be able to get the exact people, but maybe by that time these people will have procreated...

Actually, that's never going to happen, for reasons you will soon begin to understand. So if anyone wants to make a movie of my book, you better do it fast.

First, I've got to cast Kate Grable. Kate is a classic science geek, famous for her braid and her ever-present glasses. I think it's only natural to select someone who's famous for her glasses too. Lady Gaga is the perfect choice.

Science geeks of the world, unite! And dress like freaks!

Then, there's Kate's best friend, Roxanne "Rocky" Micucci. Rocky is everything Kate isn't. Cute. Has long, beautiful hair. Knows how to flirt without a Dummies Guide. I have the perfect person to play her. He's got the Rocky thing down pat.

I have long, beautiful hair too. Yo.

The last essential character that I feel must be pre-cast is the love interest. Aaron Kingsman is made of awesome. He's the quarterback of the football team and the only person who's ever managed to outscore Kate on a biology test. I'm looking for the perfect blend of sporty, charming, and smart as a whip. There's only one natural choice.

Kiss me, Kate! Kiss me!

I feel much better about my book's film prospects now. Anyone else feel like casting their movie? You'll feel better too, especially if you cast Richard.