Thursday, September 11, 2008
Twenty Different Kinds of Wrong
A couple of days ago, I heard something that was wrong with a capital R. And it went something like this:
Woman: Have a good day, lover.
Now, on the surface, this doesn’t seem so bad. Except that she was talking to her son, and said son is about five years old by my estimate.
See what I mean about the wrongness? The wrongocity? The wrongification?
I’m all for nicknames. When I ran an office, I probably could have been sued an average of three times per day simply because I called all of my office staff by fond little nicknames and just couldn’t stop myself. Sunshine, Toots, Chickadee: all of them were fair game. And they called me nicknames, like Goddess of the Database and Oh Captain My Captain. (I didn’t have the heart to tell them that it’s a poem about death; they really did think they were being complimentary.) It was all in good fun. Of course, they might have called me different nicknames when I wasn’t around; I don’t know.
I wonder sometimes how surreal it must be to have me as a boss. I used pull out my comic breakdancing moves to help cheer up my employees when the stress got to them, and then I turned around and taught myself how to diagnose cases of a rare disease because it seemed to me that the manager should know what all of her employees do. I burgeon with contradictions.
Anyway, I call my son a goof-butt when he acts like, well, a goof-butt. But on the other hand, I suggested to Slayer that he stop calling our son “C-Man,” because while his first initial is indeed “C,” the whole thing sounds pretty pervy to me. But calling him “lover”? That squicks me out! And he just nodded like that was normal and told her to have a good day too.
I think I need a brain scrubber.
- Carrie Harris
- I like writing books, playing games, fighting evil, and cooking (everyone's got to have hobbies). My YA zombie comedy, BAD TASTE IN BOYS, is available from Delacorte Press right now! The next Kate Grable adventure, BAD HAIR DAY, will be available November 2012. Which is la awesome.
My books on Goodreads!
Carrie Harris's books on Goodreads
- ► 2012 (54)
- ► 2011 (159)
- ► 2010 (228)
- ► 2009 (248)
- Holy Scary Eyebrows, Batman!
- I Swear!
- Deep Thoughts
- Dinner Party - September
- Things That Make Me Snarf - Covers
- In the Event of Famousness
- The Iron Chef I'm Not
- Tag Tag Bo Bag. Banana Fana Fo... Er... Never Mind...
- Things That Make Me Snarf: Strongbad
- I'm Special, and Not in a Stuart Smalley Kind of W...
- Typo Amusement
- Superpower Roulette
- Critiquey Goodness
- Twenty Different Kinds of Wrong
- Things That Make Me Snarf - Impressions
- First Lines
- Nostalgic Despite Myself
- Scruff or No Scruff, That Is the Question
- The Tom Robbins Story
- The Mouse House
- Holy Bleep!
- The Sexy Creature Awards
- Things That Make Me Snarf
- ▼ September (24)