My son turns five today. This makes me incredibly happy, not only because he's turning five and I haven't accidentally left him anywhere yet, but also because he happens to celebrate this momentous occasion on what we all know is my absolute favorite holiday. This makes me go squee, because I now have an excuse to humiliate him for years to come. (As if I need an excuse.) When he is a teenager and I am in my 40s, I shall dress up as Smurfette the American Gladiator at his birthday party and embarrass the heck out of him.
Because if Smurfette could hold her own in a village full of Smurfdudes, then she should have no problem with the other gladiators.
And the year after that, I'll be Posh Spice Claus (ho ho HO!). And the year after THAT, I'll be a zombie tooth fairy. (Teeeeeeth!) And the year after THAT...
Maybe I should stop. So many costume ideas, so little time.
Anyway, you might be feeling bad for my kid right now, because of all of the pre-planned humiliation he has in store for him, but he can definitely hold his own. At Halloween last year, he decided that THIS year, he was going to be Ghost Rider and he wanted me to light his head on fire, but with pretend fire that wouldn't burn. He followed this up with a request to be Billy Idol, which I was actually in full support of, except that son's favorite Idol video is "The Cradle of Love." It's the one with the semi-nude girl that dances around on the bed.
He doesn't care about her clothing. He just thinks it's cool that she gets to jump on the bed and no one yells at her. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Anyway, I really didn't want him to be telling his teacher and all of his schoolmates about that. It was bad enough a couple of years ago when my brother-in-law was still smoking, and son went to preschool, stuck a stick in his mouth, and proceeded to "smoke" it. All the other parents LOVED me for that one.
Son changed his mind about his costume at least once a week, and this started the week after Halloween LAST year. So that's approximately 50 costume ideas that we went through. At first, I was amused by this, and then somewhere around idea 25 or so I started to get frustrated. But then, I realized how much like me he is, with his whole Halloween obsession and all. So maybe, just maybe, when I dress up as Scarlet O'Hairdresser, he won't be so humiliated. Maybe he will think it is as cool as I do.
He is my kid, after all.