Thursday, October 2, 2008

Who, me expert?

One of the coolest things about having one of those site meter jobbies is that I can tell what brings people to The Wonder That Is My Blog. I mean, of course you're here to bask in my glory (translation: laugh at my expense), but how did you get here and why on earth do you keep coming back when there are productive things you could be doing, like learning to put both your legs behind your head.

I can do that. I'll teach you. Just don't do them both at once and then fall forward, mashing your nose into the floor. That hurts. Besides, you'll end up stuck like an overturned turtle while everyone laughs at your expense. Don't ask me how I know this. Just trust me.

I'm kinda scared, though, because a lot of people get here by googling things like "Carrie Harris" or "Carrie Harris blog." I hope I don't owe them money, but I reassure myself that they could be looking for someone else. I know my name's pretty common. Before I got married, I was Carrie Lewis, rhymes with Jerry Lewis, makes for a lot of bad jokes in grade school. It could be a lot worse. Ever play that game where you get your adult film star name by putting together the name of your first pet and your mother's maiden name? I would be Super Rug. Yeah, my mom's maiden name is Rug. And my adult film star name is snarfabulous.

So it REALLY could be worse.

Must... stop... digressing...

While I'm at it, must... stop... talking... in... Kirkspeak!

Now, in the past week, my hits have been going all whack-a-ding-hoy. Someone found me by googling "rewrite green eggs and ham." Another person came here via a google on "scruff or no scruff." Someone else was searching for "Jack Handey cannibalism." I think I can stand proud knowing that someone somewhere (i.e., one of those Internet trolling program-doohickies) thinks that I am an expert on these subjects. Because of course I am.

But then I saw that someone got to The Wonder That Is My Blog by googling "batman eyebrows." Now of course I am an expert on this topic. I am big superhero geek with an eyebrow complex. Put the two together and I'm freaking Einsteinian. But would you believe that Google does not recognize the awesomeness that is my batbrow expertise? Would you believe that I didn't even make the first page of results?!?

I'm wounded. Hurt beyond belief. My faith in the system has been maligned. Because if Google thinks I'm only a second tier expert on the brows of the bat, what shall I do? I'll have to sell all my worldly possessions and move to Greenland, where I will plot my revenge against the powers that be, i.e. Google.

I am hereby starting a campaign to make the first page of "batman eyebrows" results at Google. So I'll be working the phrase into every single post that I write for the next couple of weeks, and then I shall report back to you on the results. Because of course you, my treasured readers, understand intuitively how important this is.

Or at least you're willing to humor me so you can laugh at my expense. Either way is fine by me.

23 comments:

Tiny T said...

So from now on, somehow I guess I'll just have to use "batman eyebrows" in EVERY comment that I leave on your site :D

Kelly said...

Ha ha!
Holy Eyebrows, Batman! (I thought I'd change it up a bit)

adrienne said...

Now I have to google batman eyebrows to see what else comes up.

Tabitha said...

LOL!! This is too funny. My post for monday sprung from exploring my own site meter. :) It's funny how people end up on your site, isn't it?

Carrie Harris said...

Thanks all for your batbrow support. ;)

Kate Karyus Quinn said...

Are Batman's eyebrows even visible when he is in the batsuit? I think this is a question that you must address if you really want to earn your place at the top of the Batman's eyebrows listing. :)

Natalie L. Sin said...

I wonder what terms have led Google to cough up my diary?

Susan Sandmore said...

See, the way to do it is--post about batman eyebrows nearly every day. That's my evil plan with "rocket boys." Once I dominate with my helpful Rockety info, will RULE THE WORLD! Whoops. I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud, didn't I?

Susan Sandmore said...

P.S.--Does Batman even have eyebrows (in costume, I mean)? Did you say? I must know! ::frantic google::

Big Plain V said...

Ever watch the 'Superfriends' cartoon as a kid? Batman had eyebrows drawn on the outside of his mask, and they'd move and everything.

Makes you wonder who the beta readers for the 'Superfriends' cartoon scripts were.

Sandra said...

Batman eyebrows! Batman eyebrows! Batman eyebrows!

There, that should help. My work here is done.

Lady Glamis said...

Yes, laughing at your expense is the reason I have come back for the second time.

I found your blog because you found my blog and commented.

So . . . how did you find MY blog? I'm guessing from Nathan Bransford...???

I'm connected to a lot of people that way.

Oh, and Batman Eyebrows. K, now I'll stop laughing!

K.C. Shaw said...

What was that sport a few years ago called--googlebashing? Where you typed two words into Google, trying for a search that returned exactly one result. Maybe the Batman eyebrows thing came from someone who was really, really bored and googlebashing.

Brenda said...

Okay...not to say that Batman's eyebrows aren't important, but I want to know why that person (who found your blog) was looking up batman's eyebrow in the first place...did he think he saw batman in the grocery store and could only remember what his eyebrow's looked like, so he dashed home and googled "batman's eyebrows"?? Did they think they were going to be on the 6 o'clock news right behind the guy who saw the UFO..."I know who batman is...he was buying milk at the grocery store...and I have proof...I saw his eyebrows so I googled batman's eyebrows and now the world will know the truth!

Okay, lacking a little sleep on this end...off to dream about batman's eyebrows...grin...

Tabitha said...

O-kay...some bizarre news to share. I just checked my site meter, and someone got to my blog by googling "Carrie Harris writer." Weird, huh?

booklady said...

Just be certain what you'd like to be known for. With my previous blog I knew I was in trouble when I made number one on Google for "cat obsession". Admittedly, though, "Batman eyebrows" is far superior a statement to be known for and nothing to be ashamed of.

Abi said...

We're playing tag...and YOUR'E IT!

check out the details here... bloggingexperiments.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/ive-been-tagged/

you can also find things in the chit chat section of the blog chain forum.

Have Fun!

Marcia said...

Ahh -- kartoffelsalat. When I was a kid and my grandma asked me to pass the kartoffelsalat and I handed her the potato salad without asking for a translation, I freaked myself out. Thanks for the memory. :)

sruble said...

You rock Batbrow girl. I get stats on my LJ, but not on my Blogger yet. But my stat counter thingy doesn't give me cool things like google searches. Which counter do you use?

Carrie Harris said...

Again, thanks to everyone for your support of the BBC! :)

Tabitha, I'm astounded and laughing at the same time. I guess the lesson to be learned is that associating with me will increase your readership. Because I like to pay it forward. SNARF.

Glamis: Uh... how DID I find you? I know I was link surfing, just going from blog to blog. But I didn't start at Nathan Bransford's. Where the bleep did I start? I've completely forgotten.

sruble: I use Site Meter. It's free, and it has graphs. The statistician in me LUBS graphs.

sruble said...

I use site meter too ... I think there was something with LJ that was set up differently. I'll have to set it up on Blogger and see if there's a difference. Thanks!

Mary Witzl said...

I have checked my site meter before, and I can assure you that full over half my hits are due to my post on slugs (people are obsessed with the question of whether they are edible) and swimming caps for bald men. You might think the world was panting for my wit and observations, but no: it is my expertise on slugs and that one chance post of mine about whether bald men need swim caps.

Jeez. Now I'm going to go google batman eyebrows too.

Carrie Harris said...

sruble: That's strange, but then again, what about computers REALLY makes sense? :)

witzl: I'd like to hear your opinions on whether slugs need to wear swim caps. But that's just me. LOL

And I, of course, am panting for your wit and observations. Just thought I'd throw that in there.