Friday, January 16, 2009

Rob Zombie, Eat Your Heart Out

I like to laugh. This is probably no big surprise. When I was in college, I was picked out of the audience at a comedy club for one of those Don't Laugh competitions. The comedian does his schtick for two minutes, and if you don't laugh, you get a t-shirt or something else inane. So I go up there and sit on the stool, and he takes out this stuffed dog and introduces me to it. And then he slams it on the floor and yells, "SIT!"

And I crack up. It wasn't even that funny, but the fact that I wasn't supposed to laugh made it impossible for me to resist.

I owe KC a big salute for making me snarf over her suggestion of the Spice Girls as the dance squad for my marching band. Yeah, this was a couple of days ago, but I was distracted by the party at the House of Snarf.

Still, as much as I love all things Spice, I'm not sure that the Spice Girls really have enough flair to be the dancers for my band. Because remember, I've got Zom Cruise, the Teletubbies, Batman, and a Pampire on the field. (Not to mention ME, because I exude coolness like a rockstar exudes fish. Which is to say, not at all.)

So I've decided that the girlies of Spice will need to take their act up a notch if they're going to hang with us. And you know what that means: Vampire, Werewolf, or Zombie. They've got to commit to one of these groups. Personally, I'm thinking zombie, because that would make for some killer dance moves. There's the Lurch and Moan, the Lurch and Moan in Platform Shoes, and the Lurch, Jiggle and Moan. The possibilities are endless.

And really, the world needs a Posh Zombie, don't you think?

12 comments:

Jamie Eyberg said...

Sean Morey (He's on Bob and Tom a lot) picked on my wife at a comedy show once. She was very pregnant and it was a smoke filled honkey-tonk type bar. We only went to see him perform. That was fun.

K.C. Shaw said...

Assuming that all the Spice Girls would pick the same category (so we wouldn't have, like Zombie Posh but Werewolf, uh, whoever one of the other Spicees is), my first thought is probably Vampire. Because vampires dress sexy, of course. But then the Spice Girls always remind me a little of Total Coelo, that 80s band that had one awesome novelty hit, "I Eat Cannibals." And what do cannibals eat? BRAAAINS!

Ergo, the Spice Girls are Zombies. My logic is impeccable.

adrienne said...

Yep, it's gotta be zombies.
And congrats on finishing the book!

Lady Glamis said...

Congrats on finsishing, Carrie.

So... we need a post where we all pick what WE ARE: Zombie, Vampire, or Werewolf, don't you think? I have no idea what I am, but I think I could figure it out given enough time... maybe. :)

Kelly said...

Yes, the Spice Zombies! Except I'm not sure Posh eats brains...or anything for that matter.

Suzanne Casamento said...

I'm with you, I'd like to see the Spice Zombies dance. There's no way I'd be able to not laugh at that.

Natalie L. Sin said...

I thought at least one of them was a zombie?

Christy Raedeke said...

Carrie - forgive me for giving you this blog award, but the graphic was just so horrible I had to pass it on. To see your "Your Blog Is Fabulous" award:

http://raedeke.blogspot.com

Cheers, Christy

Christina Farley said...

Funny. I'd have to vote for the zoombies. It's a perfect new niche for them to keep them cutting edge.

:)

C.R. Evers said...

ummm. . . I hope that the phrase "pulled out his stuffed dog and introduced me to him" isn't a dirty euphamism. Bllahhh!

chRisTy (I know how you luv ramdom capitolization)

sruble said...

Yes, the world does need a Posh Zombie that smells spicey!

BTW, I totally wish I had known about the "Don't Laugh" idea when I was a comic. I would have been a lot better at that then trying to remember my act.

LauraBlue said...

I would have lost that no laughing contest too. I burst into laughter as soon as I read "SIT!" lol