Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Costumes That Don't Scare Your Bleeps Off

I have a problem.

I have this same problem every year, or at least every year since my kids came along. You know I'm all about the Halloween costumes. One year, pre-kid, I dressed up like a slasher film cheerleader. I had a cutesy cheerleader costume, complete with ribbons in the hair, and a cut throat. And I bought the biggest bottle of fake blood I could find and spilled it all over myself.

It was an AWESOME costume. To this day, I get all sentimental whenever I see giant sized bottles of fake blood.

I was driving to a Halloween party, and singing along with the music in my car, when I looked over to see the old couple in the car next to me. They pretty much had simultaneous heart attacks and drove off the road.

They were fine, but explaining to the police was pretty priceless.

Anyway, now that I've got young children, I'm forced to pass up on some pretty spectacular costume ideas because they'd give my two year old twins a heart attack (but not make them drive off the road, because obviously they're not allowed to drive ON the road... duh). For example, I had the most awesome idea yesterday. Ready?

Raggedy Antoinette.

I could do a KILLER costume based on that idea, if it weren't for the fact that it would give my poor children beheadding nightmares for the foreseeable future. Zombie-tubby. Another idea I am forced to pass up. Cluck Skellington. See above.

All my best ideas are unusable. So what are you going to be for Halloween? Or if you're not dressing up, what would you be if you were more motivated? ;)

Come on, people. I need child-compatible inspiration here.

19 comments:

Jamie Eyberg said...

I got nothing, but you can guarantee I will be thinking of this throughout the day.

Anita Saxena said...

Mother Ginger- and your kids could hide under your hoop skirt. They'd get a kick out of that, although you may not.

Alan W. Davidson said...

Yeah, this parenting thing really cramps your halloween style.

word verif: woorm

CKHB said...

Trying to come up with a costume for my two-year-old, I suggested the Crocodile Hunter (because my kid loves her stuffed reptiles). My husband said, "only if she's got a stingray sticking out of her chest." I said I thought it was too soon for that joke...

But then I realized that we HAVE a stuffed stingray at home. I could totally do this costume. And it would be SO wrong. And yet... SO tempting...

Kelly said...

We dress up every year as well. I was Sarah Palin last year. This year I am going to go all punk ass on everyone and be a punk rocker with a fauxhawk (if I can do that), piercings and ripped stockings. My hubby got some fake blood packets so I think he's going to be a vampire.

K. M. Walton said...

You could be:
- Richard Simmons
- Princess Leah
- Madonna from the 80's
- duh, a ninja

None are terrifying, in a traditional way.

K.C. Shaw said...

Ninja Richard Simmons! Although I think that would scare me.

You could tap right into the real childhood fears and dress up as The Lady with the Alligator Purse from all those kids' rhymes. What is up with that lady? She shows up with the doctor and the nurse. What's IN HER PURSE?

Oh wait, you didn't want to scare your kids. I have no idea, sorry.

Stephanie L. McGee said...

If I go anywhere I'll either be a pirate or the Queen from Snow White. I have both costumes, and I've done them in the past. I even won spookiest costume with the Queen.

Good luck! (You could always dress up as a zombie ninja.)

Mariah Irvin said...

Richard Simmons, please. I want to see pictures!

Unless Richard goes trick-or-treating with you, because that would be awkward.

Natalie Whipple said...

I'm going steampunk, complete with sword and everything.

You could recycle that cheerleader idea—except be an actual cheerleader. Now THAT would be freaky.

Carrie as cheerleader. Shiver. No one would believe it was you.

Big Plain V said...

Now you know why you see so many parents with young children not dressed up. It is an ageless problem with no easy answer.

We should write to our elected officials and ask them to form a committee or something -- this problem needs to be addressed.

Cate Gardner said...

Something really cute - I mean, that's horrific, right?

Kaitlin said...

Hmmmmm. If you let your kids help you, say, draw some gashes and bruises on you, would they still be afraid? The other option is to theme your family.

The cutest/creepiest thing I've seen in recent years is a dad zombie with his little zombies. Maybe including them wouldn't freak them out?

Good luck!

Hayley said...

I'm going as Jez Redfern from Huntress by L.J. Smith, but you could be a...witch maybe? I honestly have no idea, or you could find a sitter for the kids and dress up however you want...no clue. Sorry.

Shelli said...

this year my little girl is going as CHeetah girl - she said cat girl was out and cheetah girl was in. Dont know how I feel about that? :)

Natalie L. Sin said...

I like going as Jason. Cliche, perhaps, but he was always my favorite.

storyqueen said...

Okay, this is part of a book that I'm working on using fairy-tales that kids know and making them funny/scary for beginning readers.

But since you are desperate......what about
Little Dead Riding Hood? I mean, think about it, red cape + skeleton mask = cool

Shelley

Tiny T said...

Two words: Batgirl. Unibrow.

sruble said...

You always have the best costume ideas. Too bad you can't use them! I like costumes but never have ideas for good ones.

I vote with everyone else for you to go as Richard Simmons this year. (You could always be zombie Richard or Vampire Richard if it wouldn't scare your kids.)