Carrie Harris | Young Adult Author

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Gifts That Make Me Snarf

Normally, I'm so organized. Normally, I'm done with Christmas shopping by now, or at least so close to done that I can gloat. Not this year.

But I figured that at the least, I could turn my Christmas foot-draggery into something that would work for YOU, my loving readers. (Awwww.) So here are a few brilliant ideas for that hard-to-please person on your list.

Forget the Snuggie (aka the WTF Blanket). Have you bought a Girlfriend Lap Pillow for that special someone on your list? Because they're made to feel like real legs, and nothing says I-love-you like dismembered legs.


Or show the woman you love how much you care by having someone make a Barbie that looks like her... if she was undead.


Of course, you all know that I really want one.

If you're really stuck, go for the default and buy some clothes. Like this Vampirism does not make stalking attractive t-shirt. Or if you're buying for someone with a serious masochistic streak, try the Pressure Points: A Guide to Killing Me shirt.

Yeah, I want those too.

If you're looking for something bigger, why not go for furniture? Show that special someone how much they mean to you. Buy them a chair that may at any time decide to eat them.


Yep. Want.

Or if you don't like that, how about a chair made out of stuffed panda bears?

The best part about this list is that I'm now done Christmas shopping. Slayer, I hope you like pandas.

18 comments:

Jamie Eyberg said...

I want the chair that could eat someone, I will call it a salesman chair.

CKHB said...

That IS a good chair. Sort of like the one Mr. Burns was referring to when he said he had a chair at Springfield University...

Last year I was coveting this Dancing Devils Fire Pit.

Shelli said...

where do they come up with this stuff. wouldn't you love that job!

Mariah Irvin said...

My sister would love the panda chair. Thanks for the idea!

ElanaJ said...

OMGosh!! Those are the most hilarious pictures I've ever seen! The girlfriend's legs?? Snarfed out loud!

Natalie L. Sin said...

Can I get the Korean Boy Band version of those legs? Or Pancho's ass. I would gladly rest my head on that : )

Candice said...

That leg pillow is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Who thinks of that??

Carolyn V. said...

Yeah, those leg pillows freaked me out a little. I mean...really?

Tere Kirkland said...

That fanged, winged chair is actually kind of... cute. It would look great in my lair.

Kelly H-Y said...

What a riot! How did you find those? Those legs are just frightening!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

How on earth do people come up with these things? Ewww!

The panda bear is kind of cute, but it doesn't look real comfy. :)

Andrea Cremer said...

I want the chair. The other gifts terrify me, particularly the pile of skewered panda bears. Panda bear sacrifice - not pretty.

Davin Malasarn said...

What if I can't decide between the girlfriend lap pillow and the panda chair? It seems selfish to want both. There's only so much comfort a guy can take.

PJ Hoover said...

At least the pandas don't make me want to gag. Oy. Those first two are doozies.

Keri Mikulski said...

Oh my... :) I'm liking the girlfriend lap pillow. :)

Elle Strauss said...

Why am I glad I'm not on your to buy for list?

very funny, btw

Tiny T said...

This totally gives me ideas for other people.... :) Thank you!

Ray Veen said...

I like the pressure points shirt because of its strict anatomical accuracy. I could wear it the day I test out for my surgical tech re-certification.

 


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