I found a bunch of my old high school stuff the other day: letters and theater programs and random photos that never made it into albums. (Which is most of them, sadly enough.) And I realized something disconcerting.
Teenage Carrie was a real perv.
"I've hit the jackpot!" I thought. "Things I can use on my blog! Things I can use in my books! Things I can send to old high school friends, and then we can laugh and have Hallmark movie moments."
No Hallmark movie moments here, I'm afraid. Because teenage Carrie's jokes all revolved around swear words, sex jokes, and other inappropriate things. When I graduated from high school, one of my friends drew a little cartoon kickline of our big group of friends, each of us characterized by one or two particular features. Her cartoon was short and had little music notes floating out of her mouth...or maybe her ear. I can't quite tell. Another of our friends had a pile of smut books at her feet.
Me? I had big blue eyes, mutant eyelashes, and long hair. All the better to entice the guys and make pervy comments about it later, I guess.
Anyway, this kickline had lots of our favorite sayings on it. 95% of which cannot be posted on this blog. So pretend I said something funny about my high school career here.