We're back from our flash vacation. Trips with Slayer are always an exercise in memorability. Yesterday, we spent about 30 minutes driving around in circles and finally ended up at a dinner about 3 minutes from our hotel. The guy sitting directly behind me deserved the title of King Tool, but I nicknamed him Larry the Spunky Dry Cleaner instead. He spent the whole time talking about how to get girls into bed. The best part was that he couldn't see my expression, so I got to make monkey faces every time he spoke, and Slayer had to keep a straight face.
Sometimes I crack myself up. Because really, monkeys are funny. Especially monkeys named Larry the Spunky Dry Cleaner. He's a spunky little monkey.
Although it doesn't really measure up to the trip Slayer and I took to look for our first apartment. He accidentally broke in to the "high security" garage at the first place, which pretty much blew their sales pitch out the the water. The second place had mounds of police tape all over the place, because there was a murder right near our supposed apartment to be. The guy put his girlfriend in a trash can and left him on the porch. Yeah, that's the kind of place I want to live. The third place wouldn't even let us in. I think our reputation proceeded us. And the last place?
Well, I kept pushing the buzzer to get into the building, and nothing happened. So finally Slayer says, "Let me do it," because apparently this buzzer only responds to macho pushing. So he pushed the button, held it in, and got a response. So then, he starts pushing the button EVERY time he spoke, thinking it activated the speaker. Only it didn't.
Finally, the leasing guy lets us in, and immediately cuts Slayer off from the button pushing. Every time he pushed the button, a buzzer with the approximate volume of a klaxon went off in an office the approximate size of a postage stamp. Slayer probably pushed that button for about five minutes total. I'm surprised the guy's eardrums didn't leap out of his head and run for cover.
We didn't end up living at any of those places, either.