We're back from our flash vacation. Trips with Slayer are always an exercise in memorability. Yesterday, we spent about 30 minutes driving around in circles and finally ended up at a dinner about 3 minutes from our hotel. The guy sitting directly behind me deserved the title of King Tool, but I nicknamed him Larry the Spunky Dry Cleaner instead. He spent the whole time talking about how to get girls into bed. The best part was that he couldn't see my expression, so I got to make monkey faces every time he spoke, and Slayer had to keep a straight face.
Sometimes I crack myself up. Because really, monkeys are funny. Especially monkeys named Larry the Spunky Dry Cleaner. He's a spunky little monkey.
Although it doesn't really measure up to the trip Slayer and I took to look for our first apartment. He accidentally broke in to the "high security" garage at the first place, which pretty much blew their sales pitch out the the water. The second place had mounds of police tape all over the place, because there was a murder right near our supposed apartment to be. The guy put his girlfriend in a trash can and left him on the porch. Yeah, that's the kind of place I want to live. The third place wouldn't even let us in. I think our reputation proceeded us. And the last place?
Well, I kept pushing the buzzer to get into the building, and nothing happened. So finally Slayer says, "Let me do it," because apparently this buzzer only responds to macho pushing. So he pushed the button, held it in, and got a response. So then, he starts pushing the button EVERY time he spoke, thinking it activated the speaker. Only it didn't.
Finally, the leasing guy lets us in, and immediately cuts Slayer off from the button pushing. Every time he pushed the button, a buzzer with the approximate volume of a klaxon went off in an office the approximate size of a postage stamp. Slayer probably pushed that button for about five minutes total. I'm surprised the guy's eardrums didn't leap out of his head and run for cover.
We didn't end up living at any of those places, either.
11 comments:
HAHAHA!!! I used to work at an office with a button like that, and it drove me CRAZY when people would push and push and push!
...'course, I've done, it, too...
;)
I am glad I have never had to live in a 'high security' setting that required getting buzzed in. :)
Apartment hunting is awful anyway. Unless you have a monkey with you! (Because then you can say, "The monkey just kept pushing the button, it wasn't us.")
This post just reminded me my holiday is almost over and I'm back at work on Monday Morning - yep, I'm the person on the otherside of the buzzer. I sooooo need to with the lottery.
I think monkeys are terrifying. Or at least chimps are--they eat peoples' faces!
Still, I'll bet if you had a pet chimp you wouldn't have worried about the murder apartment. That's high security right there!
And you didn't share any of Larry's tips. Because guys who talk like that are always the ones who know what they're talking about, right?
You could have played it cool and asked the super "so, how is the garbage service here?"
I know...wrongwrongwrong...
My daughter did a dance to a song called "Spunky the Monkey". I'll never listen to that song the same again.
*LOL* at the button pushing.
I can relate to King Tool. Had a similar experience while we were in Florida. King Tool #2 was LOUD and yo-yo-yo and curse-filled and so needing a pop in the face.
But alas, I am a lady. I was reduced to eye rolls and over the shoulder glances. He even looked like a tool. Slicked hair, popped collar and way too tan for most humans.
Yuck and ick.
Your dinner sounds like dinner with DH and I when we're out, only we take turns making faces, depending on who can see us ;)
Hope the rest of your vacation was even more fun than that!
And way more fun that hunting for apartments. And I thought finding an apt. in NYC was bad. I have stories, but no murder stories.
ok, I know I already posted, but then the screen came back with a new word verification thingy, and you're never going to believe this, but it's carie! So I have to post for Carrie and then verify with carie, because I am that kind of person, whatever that means.
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