Wednesday, November 30, 2011

It's ALIVE!!!

I'm not sure whether I'm talking about myself or my blog, but either way, I feel like running around, wildly waving my hands in the air, and screaming, "It's alive!!!!" You can join me if you like. Especially if you're at work. (Although I'm not sure you should be taking my advice on what to do at work. After all, I AM the girl who once paged herself over the intercom and told herself to report to her desk. I didn't listen to me, because I'm rebellious that way.)

So. I'm alive. And so much is going on that I'm reduced to making one of my infamous bulleted lists. (They're infamous in my head, anyway.)
  • It's official; there will be a paperback version of BAD TASTE IN BOYS!!! So if you're one of those paperback people, or one of those overcrowded bookshelf people, or one of those tight on finances people, or one of those collect every edition of books with puking in them people, you should get one! It'll ship on June 12, 2012, but it's available for pre-order now. It'll be like a Christmas gift to yourself, only in June.
  • Do you read Amber's blog? She emailed me about bacon-covered Hasselhoff. I think that is the most awesome idea ever.
  • Mark your calendars, because I'm going to be at ConFusion in Troy (Michigan Troy, not Aegean Troy) next month! And I will be wearing the zombie shoes. Or the werewolf shoes. Or maybe one of each.
  • I am working on a sekrit project of awesomeness that involves the lovely Aimee Carter turning herself into a talking Abraham Lincoln. I get the giggles just thinking about that. Almost as much as I giggled when she took me to Breaking Dawn last week.
  • Here. Have THIS. Because it is awesome and so are you. Bloop. Boop. Boop.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Wowie Wow Wow

This weekend was the shizziest of shizzes. It was the uberawesomest of uberawesome. It was the (insert word here)est of (insert word here)...

Of course, the minute I write that, I start thinking of nonsense words to put in there. Like, it was the monkiest of monkeys. Or the boingiest of boings. I'm not sure what you'd have to do to declare your weekend the boingiest of boings, but I suspect it would be inappropriate.

Anyway. We got a babysitter, so Slayer took me out for one last birthday celebration. And we went to a restaurant that serves bacon wrapped hot dogs AND an ice cream sundae with chocolate covered bacon in it. I would have taken a picture of it, but we shared them, so as soon as it hit the table, we were all dueling spoons and yummy noises.

And then, as if the bacon birthday wasn't enough, we made it the bacon and Bobcat birthday. That's right. We went to see Bobcat Goldthwait. And I have never laughed so hard in my life. Here is pictoral evidence:

This is Bobcat. He is blurry because I was laughing.

Here, he's doing an impression of a dead Muppet. Which is snarftacular. And that's why it's so blurry that it could BE a dead Muppet, and no one would know the difference.

Here. Have some Bobcat, with a little extra Robin Williams on the side. This one's PG-13 because it's on tv, but be forewarned that most of the stuff out there is hilariously fowl. Unsurprisingly, he has a potty mouth.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Appearance Info and Whose Line

I'm still astounded that they let me out in public. But they do. And you can see me, if you're anywhere near Michigan or Ohio, along with about 50 other authors, at the Writers on the River book fair this Sunday! You can even have lunch with me (and 50 other authors). I am very tempted to bring chocolate covered bacon to said lunch, because I AM CRAVING IT, but we'll see if I'm organized enough to make that happen.

And you should mark your calendars for January 20-22! I'll be doing ConFusion, Michigan's sci-fi and fantasy con. Trust me; the talk behind the scenes is TRES COOL.

Here! Have some Whose Line! Some PG-13 rated Whose Line, for all you parents and people who work in offices where they don't let you have fun.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

What I Did For My Birthday

Here's what I did yesterday, which happened to be my birthday:
  • Ate bacon.
  • Got a pair of rain boots shaped like cowboy boots, which I am currently wearing...with my pajamas.
  • Read a couple hundred birthday messages on my facebook and tried to figure out if I honestly know that many people. Results were inconclusive; I ran out of fingers and toes.
  • Got a new iPod. The first song played on it was Thriller. Naturally.
  • Cried when I read my cards, because my husband either picks out the pervy cards or the tearjerker cards. ATTENTION, EVERYONE. 2011 IS NOT A PERVY YEAR.
  • Got massaged. One of my friends is the best massage therapist in the entire universe. I think she has cyborg hands, and cyborg hands are good. If you're ever in the Toledo area, I will refer you to her so you can see what I mean.
  • Read some awesome books. Like YOU KILLED WESLEY PAYNE, which is a noir mystery, heavy on the noir. It's the kind of book where you spend half of your time reading with a WTF expression on your face, and the other half squealing in amused excitement. Or maybe that's just me. The book's about the search for Wesley's killer, but it's also this scathing commentary on high school cliques. And there are Chaucer jokes and people weightlifting with meat. If you like lots of character development and deep, introspective dialogue, this one probably isn't for you. But if you like high paced, ridiculous, stylish crazeballs? (And yeah, that sentence doesn't exactly make sense, but it's still amusing...which is probably the best illustration of what it's like to read this book.) You'll love it.
  • Did I mention the bacon? No holiday is complete without bacon. I think we should throw a holiday bacon party.