Thursday, February 5, 2009

VD, Muppets, and Lime-Scented Heinies

So Valentine's Day is coming up, which you probably already knew but I like to point out the obvious. Generally, Slayer and I don't do a whole lot for VD. I used to call it that when I was in college, because I thought it was funny to walk around saying, "Happy VD!" to people. Because, of course, it IS funny.

But seriously. We don't do a lot for VD, because if you have to wait for VD to show your loved one how special they are, then you've got problems. We usually try to work in a date night somewhere near VD, and maybe we do a card, but that's usually about it. Now, I have to admit that this anti-VD stance may have to do with the fact that we don't have a whole lot of cashola right now, which kind of kills the hot tub filled with champagne idea.

Because really, if you can't fill your hot tub with champagne, what CAN you fill it with? Although having said that, I'm starting to think this might not be a good idea, because someone left a lemon-lime energy drink in the steam room at the gym, and it smelled like fried ass in there. Lime-scented fried ass to be exact.

So maybe I'd better scrap the bathing in heated champagne thing.

I'm going to interrupt this tangent to point out that I just reread this entry and have NO clue what the hell I'm talking about. Just wanted to make that point clear in case you're feeling lost. Don't worry. I'm lost right along with you.

Okay. Back to the VD and the lime-scented ass.

Actually, I've said everything I can think of about those things. Back to the VD-related gifts. I used to be a big VD mix tape girl, because I am a child of the 80s, and mix tapes are freaking cool. Although Slayer does not appreciate my mix tape fabulousness. This may be due to the fact that I once put a song on both sides of the same tape, and apparently he didn't like that song much to begin with. That, and I don't think he really appreciates my tendency to stick in random songs by the Animaniacs or the Muppets. They work especially well after love ballads or booty shaking songs. Nothing segues better with Eminem than a little "Rainbow Connection."

It's my personal opinion that no mix tape is complete without a Muppet, not even if it's VD-related. And those are two subjects that I never thought I would put in the same sentence. I'd better stop before the tangents get out of control and take over the world. Although what a VD-laden, lime-scented world it would be.

16 comments:

K. M. Walton said...

Your tangents make me laugh. Please don't stop writing your tangents.

K.C. Shaw said...

Where are you finding these Muppets and Animaniacs songs? Are they available online now or did you find them on CD somewhere? I'd almost given up on them, but now hope flickers anew!

"Rainbow Connection" is in my head now. But that's WAY better than "So Alive," which was in my head a few minutes ago. Thank you!

Hanna Banana said...

VD!! Awesome! I think I am going to decorate my house (the outside of it) in celebration of VD! FYI-I never decorate my house of Valentine's Day but I will for VD!

Jamie Eyberg said...

All I am thinking of is Yakko's World. united states canada mexico pariguey haiti jamacia puru. . .

JaxPop said...

Every day should be VD! 33 years of wedded bliss (minus Muppets & lime-scented anything I'm afraid - though we do have a lime tree) & we still go on 'dates' once a week. I am blessed in that department.

"But seriously. We don't do a lot for VD, because if you have to wait for VD to show your loved one how special they are, then you've got problems." - YOU OBVIOUSLY GET IT!

Keep tangenting, but I'll continue to avoid Muppets.

SlayerOfBees said...

I think instead of celebrating VD we should celebrate the follow-up March 14th holiday religiously! Obviously, March 17th is a big deal, too, being St. Patty's Day and all. I'll let you and your loyal fans go read about March 14th, as I'm sure it's not the most appropriate topic for your comments. I'm sure the that (at most) half of your regular readers will be in agreement with me!

Vivi Alden said...

"...we're animan-y, totally insane-y, chicken chow mein-y..."

Now, that's a love song, if you ask me.

I love the "happy VD!" thing. When I was going on maternity leave, our HR girl kept sending me emails about short-term disability, but she'd put STD in the subject line. "Your STD will kick in next week." Hmmm...great...

Captain Hook said...

I've always been rather anti-"VD" as well.

Mix tapes are the best! Never give up making them. I still haver the one my first boyfriend gave me for our one month anniversary :)

Yes, the Muppets must be included!

sruble said...

"Because really, if you can't fill your hot tub with champagne, what CAN you fill it with?"

Jello?

Don't forget the really great mix tape ... the one that is just one song, repeated over and over for the whole tape. Optional second song on the back side, or continue repeating the first side song. ;)

Mary said...

So funny!!! I love the random train of tangential thought vibe. :)

As for heated champagne: Yuck!

Natalie L. Sin said...

Celebrate Chinese Valentines day. Then, when people say they've never heard of it, sigh and look at them with pity. Within an hour they'll come running back, cards in hand with "Chinese" hastily written in marker between "Happy" and "Valentines."

You know you want to.

Kelly said...

Too funny! I made my then boyfriend now hubby a mixed tape the summer we started dating. He still has it. So corny but cute!
It has U2, INXS, Matthew Sweet, and I can't remember who else on it! I'll have to look for it now. Thanks, Carrie like I don't have enough to do! ;0)

Mariah Irvin said...

I made a mix tape for my friend when I was probably in third grade. It had an embarrassing amount of Backstreet Boys, as well as theme songs to popular cartoons. We still listen to it whenever I go over to her house. It's nostalgic in a lame way.

Jamie Eyberg said...

That last post made me feel really old. BSB were big when I was OUT of college.

Bryan B. said...

In graduate school, we had t-shirts made that said:

Got VD?

Because, see, we went to Vanderbilt Divinity School....you know, VD.

Anyway.

Christina Farley said...

Halarious. But you must try bath bombs. A whole new world. really.