Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Gifts by Carrie
Yesterday, one of my neighbors took the Batson to a movie while the twins napped. Now, I'm really in trouble, because I ought to get her a little something to say thank you. That's how our neighborhood rolls, and I'm all for gifts, but... how do I put this? I'm great at gifting things that are ninja- or zombie-related. I'm fabulous when it comes to putting together a box o' snarfy random stuff. If said neighbor was possibly interested in a ninja duckie to float in her bathtub, I could happily point her in the right direction.
You see where I'm going with this. My neighbors give each other flowers; I have to resist the urge to decorate the bouquet with little plastic shuriken. They bake cakes for each other; I resist the urge to leave this on their doorsteps. They come over when I'm sitting outside the house to ask what I'm crocheting and aren't quite sure what to say when I tell them it's a nosferatu.
The last time this happened, I tried to make him dance so he'd seem more comical and less freaky. I can now tell you from experience that this isn't reassuring to the average neighbor.
Strangely enough, I have no problems getting or making normal baby gifts. Although the sparkly toilet onesie is tempting... Bestfriend and the Electric Lovitz ARE having a baby, you know.
Although I'm not really sure if that sparkly toilet onesie falls into the good sparkle or bad sparkle category. I'd put it more in the confusing sparkle group.
You see where I'm going with this. My neighbors give each other flowers; I have to resist the urge to decorate the bouquet with little plastic shuriken. They bake cakes for each other; I resist the urge to leave this on their doorsteps. They come over when I'm sitting outside the house to ask what I'm crocheting and aren't quite sure what to say when I tell them it's a nosferatu.
The last time this happened, I tried to make him dance so he'd seem more comical and less freaky. I can now tell you from experience that this isn't reassuring to the average neighbor.
Strangely enough, I have no problems getting or making normal baby gifts. Although the sparkly toilet onesie is tempting... Bestfriend and the Electric Lovitz ARE having a baby, you know.
Although I'm not really sure if that sparkly toilet onesie falls into the good sparkle or bad sparkle category. I'd put it more in the confusing sparkle group.
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About Me
- Carrie Harris
- I like writing books, playing games, fighting evil, and cooking (everyone's got to have hobbies). My YA zombie comedy, BAD TASTE IN BOYS, is available from Delacorte Press right now! The next Kate Grable adventure, BAD HAIR DAY, will be available November 2012. Which is la awesome.
Twilight Parody - The (Sparkly) Back Issues
- Edition 10 - Beware the Scout with the Afro
- Edition 9 - The Merpire Bowling League
- Edition 8 - Fishman to the Rescue
- Edition 7 - Thumbs Up for Merpires
- Edition 6 - Ward's Killer Pants
- Edition 5 - The Gratuitous Dream Sequence
- Edition 4 - Meatballs Are Not For Kissing
- Edition 3 - My Dorsal Fin Belongs to Ward
- Edition 2 - Pinch Me!
- Edition 1 - The Ochre One
Blog Archive
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2009
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April
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- TGFS
- The Universe Loves Me
- Presenting Preliminary Merpire
- Things That Make Me Snarf - Shawshank in a Minute
- Random Muppets
- Twilight Parody: Thumbs Up for Merpires
- The Universe, The Weather, and My Hair
- It's All About Me
- Paranoia Will Destroy You
- Twilight Parody - Ward's Killer Pants
- Twilight Parody - The Gratuitous Dream Sequence
- Things That Make Me Snarf - Twilight Video Parody
- Twilight Parody - Meatballs Are Not For Kissing
- Twilight Parody Week
- The Zombie Rescue Squad
- Close Encounters of the Superhero Kind
- Gifts by Carrie
- I Summon Frank!
- Things That Make Me Snarf - When Sparkles Go Bad
- Random Association Time
- Name Shame
- My Favorite Things
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April
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15 comments:
Hmmm...I do see your dilemma.
Personally, I'm voting for the zombie cake.
Two words: fruit basket.
I love the whole concept of fruit baskets because you could never just wrap up a piece of fruit and give it to someone, like, "here, I got you an apple". But suddenly when it's in a basket with a bunch of shredded tissue, it's okay.
Oh, zombie cake all the way!! Absolutely got my vote!!
No one ever went wrong with pie- or chocolate chip cookies. You can bake a bunch of them and still keep some for yourself. :)
It sounds like you live in the 1950s. Or your neighborhood at least. I kinda like it. My neighbors don't even talk to me, they just let their kids kick balls and crap at my house.
Go the mile. Bake the cookies.
Nice neighbors...
Wow, you have some lovely neighbors! And all your gift suggestions sound awesome! I want that duckie. Of course, I'm the person who wrote a whole book about ninjas...so, maybe I shouldn't be present consultation for normal people.
I adore giving gifts but nobody I know is interested in interesting gifts. ;)
How about zombie gingerbread men?
My neighbors give us gifts ALL THE TIME.
They give us the gift of never having to listen to our own music, because they play theirs so loudly we get to enjoy it, too.
They give us the gift of language, using words I would never have thought to expose my children to at such a young age. Or ever.
And finally, they give us the gift of second-hand smoke by sitting outside our apartment and letting their poison drift lovingly into our windows.
Hrm. Come to think of it, I'd much rather have a zombie cake.
At least I know what kind of birthday cake to get you this year.
Gift card to a restaurant. It's pretty much fail proof, unless they get food poisoning and go on to associate you with raging diarea.
When I lived briefly in Pennsylvania, I let my neighbors borrow my lawn mower once, and to repay me they mowed my lawn ALL SUMMER. It was kind of creepy. I made them cookies at one point, but I didn't do it again because I thought maybe they'd bake me a cake to thank me for giving them cookies to thank them for mowing my lawn to thank me for letting them borrow my lawnmower, and I was afraid of how long the thanking would go on.
But yeah, cookies are always the perfect gift. You can decorate them with little ninjas!
Can I have you as my neighbor?
And personally, I'd go for a Devil's Food cake or that red velvet (but please Carrie, use the dye and not the blood for the neighbors).
You cold make it blood red like the armadillo cake, lol
It's times like these that I wish you were my neighbor. At least our neighbors don't give each other gifts. Most of us ignore each other completely, although there are a few nods and hellos, and a couple of people that just like to talk to everyone. A zombie loving neighbor would be an improvement.
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