Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Universe, The Weather, and My Hair

I think that the Universe has it out for me, or maybe it's just some random Greek god that I've ticked off. Perhaps I shouldn't have told off that swan that was making lewd gestures at me the other day.

Ahem. Forget I said that.

Anyway, in my first post ever, I mentioned how I got my offer from Super Agent Kate and was then battered by hugeola hail. In August. Today, I was walking home from the bus stop with the girls when it started hailing again. I learned that all that time at the gym has paid off, because I can indeed run down the street with 55 lbs. of screaming twin in my arms. Without collapsing, even.

During my wedding, which happened to be outdoors, there was a rainstorm. We were all snug in the gazebo, but the wind kept blowing my veil straight up. I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. Slayer, I should note, looked nothing like Frankenstein.

I've carried my children through blizzards and survived five tornadoes. I think it's five, anyway. I've lost count. And how nuts is it when you see the sky turn green and the clouds fall the way they do right before a tornado hits and go: "Aw, MAN. This again? How many times has this happened to me now?"

The question becomes what I did to tick off said gods (other than turning down that swan, of course) and how I can get back into their good graces. I'm thinking it might involve dyeing my hair some strange color.

Actually, I'm lying. I just feel like doing the hair thing, and that seemed like a good excuse. Doesn't it?

23 comments:

Lina said...

Seems like a brilliant excuse to me :-) Also greek gods are known for getting ticked off about absolutely nothing so you'll just have to wait until they find someone else to be annoyed with.

Scillius Maximus said...

Yes it does.

(But offering an Everything Bagel to Ramrod can't hurt. ;-)

Hanna Banana said...

We must have gotten the same hail storm yesterday. I was running around like a fool chasing my neighbor's dog (who got loose) who was chasing my cat when the hail started.

Jamie Eyberg said...

Is that anything like walking down the street and just looking at people randomly and saying, "Oh God, please don't let me kill again."

adrienne said...

Definitely, I think bubble gum pink hair would help :-)

Natalie said...

I've heard that changing your hair is a great way to change your fortune. Of course...that's coming from a guy who shaved the top of his head so he could have a skullet. On purpose. Not drunk or anything. So take it with a grain of salt.

Aaron Polson said...

Green. That's about it. Your hair must be green.

Kristy Colley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristy Colley said...

(Had to remove above post - cause me made typo...)

You should dye it ochre.

Litgirl01 said...

I agree with Kelly...ochre hair will definitely change your fortune!! Most likely...eh um.

Lady Glamis said...

Sounds like a great excuse! I'm so glad you've survived all that. Wow. Please don't get swept up in a tornado. I'd hate to lose my morning smile. :)

Kiersten said...

Yes, it must be dyed Ochre.

With SPARKLES.

ElanaJ said...

I love coloring my hair. Do it! But don't do it that ugly shade of red that Allison and American Idol has. Yuck.

Catherine J Gardner said...

Ooh, just discovered I was the first person to comment on your blog. How cool am I?

May there be many more hailstorms in your future.

Carrie Harris said...

Lina: I know what you mean. Those Greeks were fickle deities. Reminds me of my roommate in college.

Scillius: I have a confession to make. I don't particularly like everything bagels. Maybe that's my problem.

Hanna: It sounds like you had as much fun as we did. Sheesh.

Jamie: Yes, except for the part where you get arrested.

Adrienne: Like Frenchy in Grease? There's some appeal to that; I've got to admit.

Natalie: "Skullet" makes me laugh. Almost as much as "Preliminary Merpire."

Aaron: Why? So it doubles as camo?

Kristy: If only my complexion was ochre-compatible...

Litgirl: Snarf. Nice try. :)

Glamis: Yeah, but if I got swept up in a tornado, I'd be just like Dorothy. Only with better clothes and a ninja obsession.

Kiersten: Now, I'm all for the sparkles. I wonder if there's such a thing as sparkly hair dye. I wants some, my precious.

Elana: You mean the one that makes her look like a tomato on a stick? Ick.

Cate: You are absolutely cool! Even if you did just sic a hailstorm on me.

Natalie L. Sin said...

You could at least let the swan get to second base.

Natalie said...

Hehe, Skullet Man is Mullet Man's evil, evil twin;)

beth said...

Hmmm...I think you should carry the swan around like an albatross. That worked out well for everyone in the poem, didn't it?

beth said...

OMG! Did you see this?

http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Russet_Noon

Solvang Sherrie said...

Don't you have to make some sort of sacrifice to be in the good graces of the gods? So if you're sacrificing your hair, maybe you should go with a blood red color. Or red like the girl on American Idol! Her fortune seems to be changing for the better...

Mariah Irvin said...

Rain sucks. It's been raining nonstop in Maryland. That is, of course, until I have a track meet.

Vivi Alden said...

Oh, yay! New hair!!! I get so excited about new hair! You should go pink for sure. With ochre highlights! And then cut it short and shave "Thug 4 Life" into the back! No, no..."Sparkles 4 Life"!

I'll be ok.

K.C. Shaw said...

It might help to turn into a tree for a while. That seems to cool those gods down. Or you could just dye your hair green and tell everyone you're a tree, which would interfere less with your schedule.