Monday, April 6, 2009

Things That Make Me Snarf - When Sparkles Go Bad

Okay. This week's Thing That Makes Me Snarf is not necessarily funny on its own, and actually, you might not want to watch the whole thing, because it's one of those funny-but-on-the-verge-of-painful kinds of things. You have to picture me sitting on the couch, repeatedly saying, "This week on American Idol: WHEN SPARKLES GO BAD!" in a booming movie trailer voice. Lady Gaga almost ruined sparkles for me, particularly when the evil sparkles infected the backup dancers and gave them epileptic seizures. It just goes to show you kids; not every sparkle is created equal.



Really, I just wanted to reach into the screen and zip her eyeball shut. This kind of thing gives sparkles a bad name.

But here are a few things that give sparkles a good name. There's the unseen ending to Twilight, all 29 seconds of which are worth watching:



And a shirt that I really want.

In fact, sparkles and shirts go together like peanut butter and meatballs.

You can even get makeup tips to look like a sparkly vampire.

All of these things are kewl sparklies. But I feel like it's a part of my patriotic duty to point out that just because it's sparkly doesn't mean it's nice. It may jump out of the baby pool and eat you. Please. Just say no to bad sparkles, people.

14 comments:

Christina Farley said...

Love it! I want a sparkly vampire one- ha!

Natalie L. Sin said...

*gasp* Unicorn orgy!

Vivi Alden said...

Amen, sister. And what was with Lady Ga(g)-Ga(g)'s piano? It looked like the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese. She should have had sparkly toddlers swimming around. That would have just topped off the whole performance.

Kelly said...

Lady Gaga is a bit different....
Love the sweatshirt!!

Catherine J Gardner said...

You made Natalie gasp - that's hard to do. ;)

Natalie said...

I suddenly have the urge to buy sparkly hot pants. You think I can find those at target? Let's hope.

Aaron Polson said...

Sparkles! Unicorns!

Maybe I should let the kids watch that one...

Lady Glamis said...

Bad sparkles, bad sparkles! Oh, wow. Absolutely correct. Many bad sparkles.

Kristy Colley said...

You should really start your own club. Instead of, you know, say D.A.R.E, S.P.A.R.E
SParkle Abuse Resistance Education.

Btw, if only they would've had the sparkle scene on The Last Unicorn...
how the world would be a different place.

Carrie Harris said...

Christina: I'll wear mine at the same time, and we can be twins. Heh.

Natalie S: But it was funny, neh?

Vivi: Sparkly toddlers?!? Now I know what I'm dressing the girls as for Halloween next year.

Kelly: Different. Yes, that's one word for it.

Cate: I know. I feel like I should get an award or something.

Natalie: You can get ANYTHING at Target. And if you're anything like me, the problem is that you have done so.

Aaron: Er... yeah. Probably should have put a warning on it, huh? I'm usually very good about that kind of thing.

Glamis: I'm turning into a kind of sparkle snob now. I admit it fully.

Kristy: Yes, but would the world be a BETTER place? ;)

Shelli said...

i love lady ga ga sorry!

Shelli said...

does this mean I have to put my bedazzler away?

Mariah Irvin said...

The Lady Ga Ga video made me dizzy. It's like "Hey! Let's put an awkward piano right in the middle of the shot and dive around it!"

Now I can properly identify bad sparkles.

P.S. Is Ward a good sparkle or a bad sparkle?

Lynnette Labelle said...

I watched Idol when she was on and thought the dancers looked like they believed to be Michael Jackson's Thriller dancers. Those moves worked for his video, but not so much for this type of song.

Lynnette Labelle
http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com