Okay. Quick recap for any newbies: In the Event of Famousness is a once-a-month jobbie on The Wonder That Is My Blog. Have you thought about what you're going to do when you're famous? No. That's okay, because I'm thinking about it for you. We've already discussed how to answer those pesky where-do-you-get-your-ideas questions (from the back of the toilet tank, of course) and discussed the hiring and purposes of People (to play the Ewok song on a boom box during special romantic moments).
And today, it's time to discuss the Celebration. What will you do when you sell your first book/win the National Pig Latin Spelling Bee/discover the Lost Outhouse of Tutankhamen? I've been thinking about this a lot, because I'm planning a celebration for when my contract comes.
I'm thinking positive here, not trying to be all coy and hinting that there's a contract. Which there is, only I'd have to invent a time machine and go forward in time to see the person who eventually buys my books and then steal the contract from them and bring it back to our time, and why in the hell would I want to steal from the person who will buy my books in the future? That would be dumb. If I do anything to the future person who buys my books, it will involve sending them a fruit basket, collection of Pez dispensers, or something equally nice.
But seriously. Book is out on submissions. I just like to plan ahead.
So, when book sells, I need to do something to celebrate. Now, I know some other authors have done things like get a tattoo or spend a day at the spa, stuff like that. But we all know that I'm not going to do that. Not to malign the people who have done these things, because they are all very cool but not my style. And that's the thing about the Celebration: it should reflect who you are.
Which means that my Celebration will be snarftastic. Do you think it's egotistical to call myself snarftastic? Because in a roundabout way, I just did.
Unfortunately, I've come up with a few ideas that I really like for my Celebration, and now I can't decide between them. So it's up to you, the band of lunatics that read The Wonder That Is My Blog, to choose for me. There is (or there will be, depending on whether I can get the darned thing to work or not) a poll in the right hand column. Place a vote on how I should celebrate when the contract eventually comes, and I will do it and post evidence on The Wonder That Is My Blog so that you can laugh at my expense. Please vote once, because it's only fair that way. Here are your choices, in tres generic alphabetical order:
1. Batgirl versus Ninjas: You know I'm obsessed with Batman and his eyebrows. So I think it would be fun to make a video. I'll dress up like Batgirl, complete with Batbrows, and I'll choreograph a fight scene with a bunch of ninjas. (Luckily, I know a bunch of ninjas, so this really is possible.) And I shall tape it and post it on The Wonder That Is My Blog for your viewing enjoyment as a part of a The Wonder That Is My Batblog Book Contract Celebration.
2. Costume Party with a Potatocake: I like to throw parties, and you all know that I love costumes, so it's only natural for me to throw a Celebration costume party. And I think I should have a cake. Made out of kartaffelsalat. (That's German potato salad for you newbies.) So if you choose this option, I shall post pictures of the costume party, and of course the cake. Probably no one will eat it, but that means more potato salad for me, so I totally win.
3. Superzombiegirl at the Bus Stop: If you choose this option, I shall spend a weekday dressed up as a superhero zombie, with full makeup and outfit. I will cook lunch, go to the grocery store, and all the other stuff I usually do, only I'd lurch, moan, and wear a cape. I crack up every time I imagine what the other moms at the bus stop will think when they see me in that getup. And of course, I shall post photos on The Wonder That Is My Superzombieblog Book Celebration.
So... it's up to you. What do you think I should do? Feel free to comment below, but know that I'm not going to count your vote unless you actually vote in the poll in the right hand column! And let me know how you plan to celebrate when you make it big.
Oh, pick number three!! I'd do it just for the fun of it but my kids would have to be with me because you know one of a mom's jobs is to thoroughly embarass their children. Bwahahahahaaaaa...
#2 sounds fun, but I just like kartaffelsalat...
I think if I ever had to make the choice for myself, the day would probably start with a tattoo, and end up with an Ernst Hemingway-level epic day/night of drinking that started with Corona Light and ended with national news coverage.
The chance to embarrass my children goes beyond any other joys I have (other than embarrassing my wife and parents) so i would have to pick three.
Myself, I would probably rent a poolhall, reminiscent of my college days, and invite everyone I know as well as a few strangers to shoot some stick and drink beer with me. I might even pull in a few contraband Cuban cigars, just like old times.
Ummmmm...can Batgirl fight a ninja while using potato salad. I'd like that. "splat"
It was hard to pick between #1 and #3. The second option was ok, but not as amusing to me (in other words, I didn't think the pictures would be as funny).
Ultimately, I went with the first option, because as much as the idea of you being a zombie for a day is hilarious, the batman/ninja video idea kills me and I really want to see it. :)
I have no idea what I will do. Better go think up some ideas (not that I can top yours - never).
How cool that your bday is the 8th - LOVE IT. I vote, and dare I say wholeheartedly, for the zombiebatgirl scenario. I actually snarfed when I pictured you strolling through the local produce aisle in full zombie gear. That one has got to win!!!
*did you book the NYC conference yet? Just make it your Christmas gift & next year's bday gift.
I'm just worried that you'd scare all of the kids at school and everyone would be afraid to play with our son and you would not be allowed to volunteer at any more holiday parties.
Besides - I like the idea of getting all dressed up and wrasslin' with you. :)
You could, of course, do all three if you get a three-book contract.
I voted for #1 just because I want to see that, although #3 was a close second.
I'll probably just end up with a tattoo, myself. I've been trying to talk myself into one for about 20 years.
SuperZombieGirl of course. :)
Now you've got us all wishing that it would happen for you really, really soon (which we kind of did anyway) so that we can join in the fun.
Carrie - the perfect competition for you:
Costume party. But only if it's a mish-mash costume party. Everyone has to come as a Zombie Tooth Faery, Afro-dite etc.
As much as I was tempted by the potato salad, I think I'll have to go with #3. What mom wouldn't enjoy seeing that?
I have to vote for number 1 although a mix-match costume party would be awesome too, especially with kartaffelsalat. I would help you eat it :) Are purple ninjas allowed?
i'm for the ninjas!!!!!!!!!
Ninjas! Ninjas! Ninjas!
They make every occasion better. Much like Jell-O.
Major tough decision between 1 and 3...but I gotta go with my fondness for eyebrows...so
Well I certainly can see where you'd have trouble choosing.
I mean why can't you just be a ninja fighting batman zombie superhero kartofelkuchen? That would solve everything!!!
Baby - it ain't what you wear it's what you eat. I vote for Italain / Indian food and chocolate ice cream!
Now you know we all want to see you dressed up as Batgirl- with the whole eyebrow thing and all. (I'm seriously not being creepy) And now that you've added fighting Ninjas AND posting a video of it on your blog, well, clearly I'm voting for numero uno.
Good luck on the subs.
And we'll hold you to this video or stalk you wearing little bo peep costumes. (And for the dudes, that would be a scarelarious sight)
how do I pick just one? grin...
I'm torn between 1 and 3...but I think 3 is winning out...
I'm not sure what I will do...I know it won't be near as much fun as what you have planned, but I will see what I can come up with...
Well, my vote just made option #3 for Superzombiegirl the current leader. Here's hoping you have a contract soon!
Superzombiegirl blows the other celebratory choices away! Seriously, the idea of you moaning all zombied up doing daily mom things is hilarious. Although you'll probably get banned from the PTA.
Plus "Superzombiegirl" could be a fabulous name for your next manuscript...
You are truly insane. :) But I love it!
Hmmm, if I get my book/s published, I will have a party and invite everybody who ever read it before it sold.
Depending on the contract amount, I'll host the party somewhere super-cool, like Park City. Lots of food and Michelle-praising will ensue. Because I have an ego when it comes to writing. A big one. *hangs head in shame*
You are hilarious and brave!
I voted for number 3. :)
Yep -- number 3 for me too. I'd do this myself just for the looks I'd get -- both from the other mothers and my kids.
Now I'll go vote...
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