Friday, January 30, 2009

Antonio: 0; Ninjas: 1

Awwww. It's the end of Ninja Appreciation Week already? And I was just starting to have fun.

This whole thing makes me think of one of my favorite ninja stories. Slayer, fabulous hubby of mine, is a ninja. And one day, he had all of his ninjish students over to make these cool things called mitsubishi.

I'm not talking cars here, people. You could write what I know about cars on a postage stamp and have space left over. No, mitsubishi are really cool ninja things. You take eggs and blow all the goop out, and then you fill the shells with flour (if you're nice) or metal shavings (if you're not). Then, when you're in the middle of a fight, you can break them on people's faces.

Which is pretty much the ninja idea of fun right there.

So Slayer and his ninjish students were at our apartment blowing eggs when the phone rang. And when I picked it up, a guy said, "Hello, Carrie. It's Antonio Banderas."

Because of course hot Spaniards call me all the time. They can resist my snarfishness.

I figured it was one of my friends, because that's the kind of thing my friends would do. So I answered in an equally exaggerated Spanish accent: "Hello, Antonio. I've missed you so much." And we started this silly, playful conversation. The whole time I'm trying to figure out who the heck it is. I'm guessing, and he's laughing harder and harder.

And that's when I realized that I don't know him.

He wouldn't get off the phone. I told him that I have a boyfriend and was not interested in a relationship with a semi-stalker semi-Banderas. He didn't care. So I hung up the phone. And then I spit at it. OOOooooo. I'm so tough.

He called again. Twice in a row, even, because I am that irresistible. So I took the ringing phone out to the living room full of ninjas and explained to them what was happening. Slayer took the phone and into the other room to let Antonio know in no uncertain terms that I was his ninja babe. And that's when the ninjish students stood up, eggs in hand, and offered to protect me.

I would have liked to see Antonio Banderas get the crap egged out of him by a bunch of ninjas. I would pay good money to see that.

He never called again, though.


Anonymous said...


K.C. Shaw said...

So, the Mitsubishi brand of cars is named after a ninja weapon that is made out of an egg? Wow.

See, the egg thing is why I could never be a ninja. I would forget I had the egg in my ninja-pocket and would sit on it, and I'd leave a trail of flour wherever I went and evil anti-ninjas would follow it and kill me. Or the other ninjas would kill me because I was making them look back.

K.C. Shaw said...

er, look bad I mean.

Jamie Eyberg said...

Now I want to make my own ninja weapons out of common kitchen ingredients.

Lina said...

What if it really was Antonio Banderas. Now that would be so funny. Did he say why he was calling at any point? I actually quite like Banderas but would also enjoy watching kids throw flour filled eggs at him :-) The picture is making me giggle madly whilst sitting at work, people are starting to look at me weird!

Scillius Maximus said...


Mitsubishi is a car.

Metsubishi is the egg exploding power.

Here. I'll demo again.

::Scillius draws a metsubishi egg from his Gi::


::Scillius throws. A sudden flash of what powder! And then he's gone!!::

::And quit looking behind the lamp! Even the one that hangs from the ceiling. He's not THERE!!::

:: . . . But you might want to check your sock drawer. You could have some new singles . . . ::

Fox Lee said...

A house full of Ninjas makes me think of "Taboo." Now, I realize that ninjas and samurai are different. All I'm saying is that a room full of either is very homoerotic.

Mary said...

Your life is so glamorous! All I get is a house full of leprechauns who completely hog the phone. ;)

Vikki said...

Wow, Carrie. Weird people gravitate to you! Mr. T called me once. He was really ill prepared. Just kept saying "no more jibba-jabba!" every time I tried to ask who he really was.

Tabitha said...

Wow, no one interesting ever calls me. Except for wrong numbers. And my weird neighbor. Oh, and I guess my friends are kind of interesting, or else they wouldn't be my friends, I guess. :)