Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Oh Buuuga Buuuga

I think Pam Anderson's cover is blown. Just about everyone knows she's a vampire. Although I'm sorry to tell many of you that Britney is actually a zombie. How do I know this? Well, when you play "Oops I Did It Again" backwards, you can hear the real words:
Oops I ate brains again
And chomped on your heart
Got hurgn uungh gaaar
Oh buuuga buuuga.

I'd translate the last few lines for you, but then you wouldn't need to buy my zombie dictionary.

And Katie Couric is a werewolf. I've been told by an insider that after all of her interviews, she wolfs out and eats her interviewees. Of course, he was wearing a tinfoil beanie, so I think you've got to take that story with a whole shaker full of salt.

Sorry. Just dropped a potato chip down my cleavage and entirely lost my train of thought. I think I'll have to move on.

I finished two books in the Read 50 Books Challenge: Ninjas and Zombies and Freaks, Oh my! (Apparently, I'm reading about ninjas, zombies, and freaks. I didn't know that until about two seconds ago, but what the bleep. I'll run with it.) Anyway, my first book was The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. It's supposedly humor, but honestly? The concept was the funniest thing about it. If you're a big zombiephile, get it. If not, skip out and read World War Z instead, because frankly, the survival guide reads like the background work that made WWZ so fabulous.

Book two was The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, and I think it fits with my new theme. Ain't much that's freakier than living in a graveyard and wearing a winding sheet. And I was really distracted by that. Like, was he wearing it like a toga, or was it wrapped around his waist? It reminds me of the time I was acting in a workshop scene from Prelude to a Kiss, and the two characters were supposed to be hanging out in their apartment after some happy together time, so I wore a long t-shirt with a bathing suit underneath, and the instructor said she missed the entire scene because she'd spent the whole time trying to look up my shirt and see what I was wearing.

Talk about freaky.

But lucky for me, I was able to get past the winding sheet, and enjoy one of the best reads I've had in a while. The Graveyard Book gets a star from me, as if that really means anything in the greater scheme of things, but it makes me feel special to give out stars, so I'm going to. If you haven't read it, you should.


Jamie Eyberg said...

Do you ever concern yourself with the people you surround yourself with. I mean, come on, instructors trying to look up your toga?

Bryan B. said...

Did you know Max Brooks is Mel Brooks's son?

Vikki said...

Oh, darn, I missed yesterday's "Zombie, Werewolf, Vampire" test! But, of COURSE Brittany is the Zombie. Just watch her appearance on the MTV awards a couple years back. See, they drug her so she won't start snacking on back-up dancer brain right in the middle of the show.

C.R. Evers said...

Glad I'm not the only one who knew that Brit was a zombie!

Way to go on your book reads!


Rena Jones said...

LOL @ Pampire & Zom Cruise!

Aaron Polson said...

I'm sooo bad at identifying the zombies. I better think twice about the shotgun I keep next to my bed...

Jim Danielson said...

"Borrow" Pampire as long as you want. :-)

I'm just glad I Aced the test. I think at some point I feel asleep with my CD player stuck repeating "Oops I Did it Again".

By the way, how do people play CD's or MP3's backwards?? We used to play real to real tapes on the wrong side .... and yes I'm OLD.

Carrie Harris said...

Jamie: Yes. I try to find the most twisted people possible to hang out with, because otherwise I wouldn't have anything to blog about. Of course, this happened long before blogging, but if you ignore the space-time continuum, it makes perfect sense.

Bryan: Yeah, I know. I'd love to see a Mel Brooks zombie movie.

Vivi: Which is too bad, because the back up dancer snackery would be better than her performance was, eh? :)

Christy: Yep, you've got talent. Heh.

Rena: I'm so glad I'm not the only person who thinks that's really funny.

Aaron: You know, I didn't think of it that way. I'm really performing a public service, aren't I? I'll make sure to give you more practice in the future.

Jim: You're too kind. And too hilarious.

Michelle D. Argyle said...

Heheh... this is making wonder about ALL of the celebrities out there... Hollywood and the music industry is just a cover up, I'm telling you.

Anne Spollen said...

My friend and I have long held suspicions that Laura Bush is a zombie - think it's possible?


Fox Lee said...

I have no problem believing that she's a zombie!

K. M. Walton said...

How in god's name have you read two books already??? I am totally impressed with your speedy eyes.

Angela said...

Whatever you do... don't give the acting instructor a potato chip now that you've told the world what you like to do with them!

Carrie your posts always make me smile...sometimes it's an "i'm puzzled smile" but mostly it's a very happy smile.

I think your writing voice is very much like a talking voice... I can hear your voice like it is over the phone line and if I ever catch myself nodding ... it isn't long before I freeze and think "what did she just say? did she just say what I think she said? about a vampire?"

Happy 2009!

K.C. Shaw said...

I've got to read the Graveyard Book. Everyone seems to love it. Finally, I will give in and read it, because if you can't take book recommendations from someone who stores extra potato chips in her bra, who can you take book recommendations from? No one, that's who.

Captain Goldensword - superhero of righteousness said...

Greetings citizen.

Could you please direct me to the location of the explosions and battles and individuals with evil accents? I sense that I am needed there.

I refer, of course, to post following this post which appears above it and yet has no comment thing-ey. Or perhaps my mask has slid down over my eyes and I cannot see it.

Carrie Harris said...

Erk. I left some comments unreplied to. I iz bad peepul.

Glamis: No kidding. They're all supernatural creatures, you know. I think even the Teletubbies turn into SOMETHING at night. I don't know what. I don't want to.

Anne: You know, that would explain a lot. I haven't even THOUGHT about politicians yet.

Natalie: I'm glad someone's with me.

KM: This is because I have perfected the art of reading while I'm doing dishes. Because with three kids, I have a lot of dishes. ;)

Angela: Good point. Although the cleavagey storage of the potato chip was NOT intentional. And thank you, BTW. The compliments made my day.

KC: You should definitely read it. It's tres good. For once, the masses are right (because they agree with me). Heh.

Captain G: It's the strangest thing. About once a month, I get a post that doesn't have the little comment thingy at the bottom. I don't know how to fix it, but if you click on the title, you should be able to comment. I'm sure it's an attack by villains at large.