I'm starting to feel human again. Or as close as I come, anyway. Thanks for all the well-wishes and stuff.
Blah de blah blah blah. Moving on...
It's raining today. And if the meterologists are correct (excuse me while I snarf), it will rain all day. My family is pretty rain compatible, because we are not related to the Wicked Witch of the West and we are not wusses. Before the girls were born, Slayer and I used to take the Batson out to the huge patio behind our building, and we'd play in the rain. We'd splash each other in puddles. We'd get out the Nerf balls, soak them, and throw them at each other.
In short, we acted like the childlike people we truly are. And note that I say childlike instead of childish. Childish people make me want to hold up one hand and say, "See this? I want you to use it to throttle yourself."
So one day, it was raining, and we were outside doing our thing. And that's when I noticed that someone was moving in to the apartment above ours. They came outside to say hello, which was nice. So we're introducing ourselves, when the guy says, "Uh... should he be doing that?"
Because the Batson was down on his hands and knees, drinking out of a puddle.
They got a little alarmed when we just laughed and said he was getting his fiber. It was just a JOKE, people. We made him stop. And then, the guy looks at me and says, "You look familiar."
We eventually figured out that this was because he used to room with my ex-boyfriend. The one that got the cue ball stuck in his mouth.
So by this time, I figure I've made a great impression. And their kids come out to see what we're doing, and they want to play in the rain too. I'm pretty surprised when the parents allow it, because I've got to figure that they're a little scared of these rain-dancing, puddle-drinking, cue-ball-idiot-dating people. But they let the kids come down anyway. And we all run around in the rain, having a great time.
That's when I hear the mom say to the dad: "We're going to have to give them a bath when they get inside." You know, to wash off the rain.
I didn't feel so bad then.