Monday, May 11, 2009

NDO Alert

It's the first day back from vacation; I'm running late, and I have no ideas. Fair warning that you should expect randomness with a capital NDO today.

Ever have one of those friends that always messes up the lyrics to songs in ways so ridiculous that you suspect that are in fact joking? I had one in college. I used to teach water aerobics, which is an exercise in self-confidence. (Seriously. I'd like to see YOU standing on the edge of a pool in your bathing suit with a bunch of people staring at you while you do froggie jumps in slo-mo.) Anyway, I used to make my own tapes to use during class, because the tapes they provided were horrible. My cool down tape had Careless Whisper by Wham! on it, because I am just that kewl. One day, I heard her singing, "Guilty feelings, hot diddle diddle."

Yeah, instead of "Guilty feet have got no rhythm." It still cracks me up. Hot diddle diddle to you too!

This is the same friend who I convinced that the line to the Toto song was "I left my brains down in Africa," instead of "I guess it rains down in Africa." I guess I was showing my zombie-rific tendencies back then too.


In other news, Best Friend and her husband, the Electric Lovitz, had their second baby this weekend, and I got to be there and help out, which is beyond kewl. My only problem is what to call the baby. Best Lovitz is probably my best bet, because Electric Friend sounds a little pervy. Anyway, congrats are due to them.

And lastly, I've been having a lot of people (well, not HORDES, but enough to make me stop and pay attention) suggest that I should run a query letter clinic here at the Wonder That Is My Blog. For those of you who don't know, I'm the Query Ninja. I wander around the cybersphere with my virtual ninja garb on, pouncing on unexpected bloggers like Aaron and KC and critiquing their queries. I actually like to write queries, and I'm a nitpicker. These two things go together like pickles and shuriken. (And actually, I'd argue that pickles and shuriken go together in the List of Things I Think Are Kewl, so that isn't a totally ludicrous remark.) I'd be happy to do one, although I think there are plenty of peeps out there who are more qualified to do this kind of thing than silly ol' me. My question is whether there are enough of you out there in Query Land who would participate-slash-benefit.

So are there?


Jamie Eyberg said...

As soon as I have a 'script fit to submit I will beg for your help.

Vikki said...

Heck, yeah. I'd happily be one of your victims! Queries give me rage, so your ninja-esque input would be much appreciated.

Natalie Whipple said...

Hopefully I won't need to ever query again after this, but I'm sure Ninja Querying would be thoroughly entertaining. So do it.

Congrats to your friend and the new babe:)

Cate Gardner said...

You so have to do a Query Ninja post - your awesomeness needs to be spread around the webverse.

Scillius Maximus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scillius Maximus said...

Since it's totally random day:

I just noticed that you have as many blog posts in 2009 as you do in 2008 (89).

So I guess tomorrow's post will tip the scales in the other direction. Hmm makes wonder what will happen to the space-time continuum or possibly the earth's tilt. Well I guess will find out tomorrrow.

Kiersten White said...

Ooh, this reminds me I need to

a) have you nickname my next baby, should I ever manage to get *#@&Y%$^& pregnant again and

b) have you read over my cover letter. Which I'm not sure I'm ready for the whole www to see.

Anonymous said...

You know I loved it when you ripped my query a new one. And I'm not even joking. It was like martial arts with words and light sabers.
You'd rock others queries too.

On the side of randomness: Uh Oh: A New 'Zombie' Strain of Swine Flu

Fox Lee said...

I used to think that "Material Girl" was Cheerio Girl.

Carrie Harris said...

Jamie: You don't have to beg, dahlink.

Vivi: Peachy. I shall figure out how in the heck to do it, then.

Natalie: I've got my fingers crossed for that too!!!

Cate: Well, hopefully my awesomeness IS being spread throughout the webverse, but yes, I know what you mean.

Scillius: Well, that does make sense, since I only started blogging last August. Hopefully the world doesn't end tomorrow, although it would save me from having to do the laundry.

Kiersten: I shall happily offer my nickname-age service to you at any point. And read your cover letter. Without posting it for the www to see. Kay?

Kristy: I'm sorry! I should have listed you in the people who I have maimed with my mad Query Ninja skilz list. I never claimed to be good with remembering things. Just chopping up queries.

Shelli: It's called the Semi-Secret Order of the Blog Ninja. Although I do think I should give more of them out. Thanks for the reminder!

Natalie S: I shall never look at breakfast cereal the same way again.

K.C. Shaw said...

You saved my query when no one else could have saved it. I will leave an extra sock in the drawer just for you.

My mom is terrible about mishearing lyrics; I can't decide if she does it on purpose, though. It used to drive me wild when I was an-annoying-teenager. You remember that Aerosmith song "Saint John?" The one that goes "Saint John be cool" about 10,000 times? She used to call it "The Trackalacka Song," she SAID because she couldn't remember the name, but really she did it just to annoy me. I have managed to block my memories of her misheard lyrics to that one.

Mariah Irvin said...

What are you talking about? You're totally qualified (especially because you "pounce" like a ninja)!

Congrats to your friends and "Best Lovitz".

Ello - Ellen Oh said...

Hey my sister used to sing Tenderness by General Public - except she would sing "Ten dollars where is my ten dollars!" Yeah she was a little greedy thing back then - still is!

Sherrie Petersen said...

While I would enjoy reading your comments on other people's queries, I think I would be terrified to have my query publicly critiqued by you! And I say that with gobs of love and tenderness :)

sruble said...

I taught swimming lessons to little kids, which is nowhere near as terrifying as water aerobics! I can't imagine, although it sounds like you had fun with it!

A regular query clinic would be good, but a query clinic where you can zombify or sparkle-up your query would be much more fun (even if you could never, ever send that query out with your real name on it).