Monday, May 23, 2011

Storks and Booties - But Not Babies

I have a disturbing tendency towards embarrassing typos. I'm not sure if this is a sign that my subconscious is really, REALLY crazy or just bad luck, or maybe a byproduct of the fact that I don't type with my fingers on the right keys. (I'm such a rebel.) But it happens all too often. The other day, I was thinking that I could write adult books--all I'd have to do is type one of my YA books and let the pervy typos stand.

That would be much easier for me than writing a sex scene. I've tried them. And after I've written them, I read them out loud and giggle uncontrollably, because they're always unintentionally funny.

My two favorite typos aren't mine. Have I talked about this here before? I once critiqued a manuscript in which the heroine spent most of her time crying and waiting to be saved, and the hero would go out and be brave, and then come back and soothe her and then take her to bed. (And you can imagine my comments on THAT.) Anyway, he kept stroking her hair to soothe her. Only the author kept typing it "storking."

Apparently, it is very soothing to have birds flung at one's head. You should try this the next time one of your nearest and dearest is having a bad day.

And then, my former boss used to always leave an S off the end of "assess." So instead of assessing the situation, she'd go all bootylicious on it.

Apparently, storks and booties crack me up. Just so long as they aren't attached to another baby, because as much as I love them, I have nowhere to put one. We'd have to take out the dining room table and put a crib in there.



Artemis Grey said...

Typos like this are my favorite things! I have gutter-typo syndrome, and they show up everywhere. One that shows up constantly is 'prick' instead of 'pick' so I end up writing 'prick up that whatever'. I grew up hearing the term 'Prick my temper/nerve etc' so it's in my head with a certain antiquated definition attached and apparently my fingers like typing it.

The best, though, is the long-running joke between me and all of my married friends. See, I'm a very single sort of girl, but all of my really close guy friends are married (to very awesome ladies) and I have this awful AWFUL trigger finger that puts 'r' on the end of 'love' every time I type it. So a great many emails to my guy friends (or their wives, who are also my close friends) get signed 'Lover, Artemis' rather than 'Love, Artemis...' I still go all red when it's mentioned, which makes everyone else think it's just that much funnier, because normally I'm impossible to embarrass.

Jeigh said...

You know, Carrie, you shouldn't knock hair storking until you've tried it. It can be very soothing and seductive at the same time.

Vikki said...

I constantly typo the word "numb" into "dumb". (Seriously, I just did it right there...typed "dumb" when I meant to type "numb. Gah! Did it again!!) I don't use "numb" that often, but when I do and mess it up, it always comes out funny: "I walked so much today my feet are dumb" or "I wasn't dumb enough, so they gave me another shot".

I love it when people get "waist" and "waste" mixed up. "He put his hands around my waste". Ewww. TMI.

Julie said...

Typos are the best invention. Ever. Especially via text. My friends who have the swype text always send me the most random messages, and it's always while I'm in public.
So if you ever see me doubled over in the frozen foods section of the grocery store, it's probably because my friend sent me 'meet you in five' and I received 'piano'.
This happened.

Anonymous said...

Typos. The reason you should ALWAYS spell check your blog posts, people. xD