Wednesday, May 18, 2011


People constantly ask me if I write books longhand, and then I giggle maniacally at them. No, my handwriting's not as bad as Slayer's--one of his teachers actually told him to either improve it or become a doctor. He'll say that he took the easy way out and went into medicine. I'm not THAT bad. But I'm VERY left-handed. Like, the kind of left-hander who drags her hand across everything she's written and ends up with a smeary mess on the paper and the imprint of the letter "E" on the side of her pinkie. I've tried everything. I flip spiral notebooks upside down to write without impaling my hand. I used to have a huge pen collection as a part of my quest to find one that wouldn't smear. I tried to learn different ways to hold the pen and avoid the drag, but it only made my handwriting worse.

So this whole typing thing is good for me, and I'm pretty good at it. I don't type the way you're supposed to--my left hand covers about two-thirds of the keyboard instead of half. But I can go pretty fast once I've started, and I can continue to type a sentence I've already got in my head and have a conversation with you as long as you don't say anything too shocking. The only time I write longhand is when I'm on family vacation, although I hear that our little wilderness resort might be getting Wifi.

In general, I'm pretty cool with technology, except for this morning, when I keep getting bumped off the net about every ten minutes for no apparent reason, and neither of my newly-updated browsers is working right, and it takes five minutes to open up Excel. Clearly, the Frumious Bandersnatch (my laptop) has gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. It's extra frumious today.

So if you need me, I'll be at the home store, buying some stone tablets and a chisel. Because I think I might need it.


Kasie West said...

I don't think you've tried EVERYTHING. For example, have you tried writing your sentences from right to left. OR spelling words from back to front. That's what I thought. :) Yes, the world is not made for left-handed people. And you'd think with my brilliant suggestions of backward writing that I'm a left-hander as well.....I'm not. But I will laugh at the 'e' smeared into your hand if you'd like. I mean, I will have sympathy for your trials. Also, do people really still write things out long hand??

Tere Kirkland said...

LOL, I was just going to suggest writing backward. Worked for da Vinci, and he was pretty with it for an old dude. ;)

Unknown said...

Kasie: I know! Every time I hear about someone who writes books long hand, I start wondering about their sanity. I never ask of course, because it's not polite. But I wonder...

Tere: Da Vinci is clearly a lot smarter than me. And artistically inclined. ;)