Monday, November 24, 2008

BRAINS Contest and Bruce Campbell

It's only fitting that the weekend before the BRAINS contest starts, I get to see Bruce Campbell live and in the flesh. He was in the Detroit area for his fabulous film, "My Name Is Bruce" (wonder where he got the title) and did a Q&A session after the movie. I brought the camera, honestly I did, but I was so amused by his snarky Q&A-ness that I forgot to get it out of my purse. So there are no pictures. But you can imagine me laughing my butt off with Bruce's little head bobbing up and down in the distance if it makes you feel better. Not that I'm saying he has a little head, just that I was sitting pretty far back.

Get more info and see if he's coming to your town by going to the Bruce Campbell official website. He'll be in Chicago in a couple of days, and out to the west coast after that.

Oh, and Skilli is officially promoted to the title of Scillius Maximus for telling me about it, taking me to it, and giving me some of his popcorn.

And now, the contest.

Regular readers of The Wonder That Is My Blog know that I have a thing about brains. And my current book begs for a snarftastic brains-related title, but I haven't been able to come up with one that is snarftastic or even remotely snarfy. Who am I kidding; mine all suck rocks. I'm just not good with titles. So I'm hereby starting the BRAINS contest. I want the punniest, most ridiculous brainy titles you can think up. I'm like the Statue of Liberty for humorous brain-related titles:
Give me your titles, your puns,
Your snarfy comments on the medulla oblongata,
The most groan-worthy you can come up with,
Send these, the best of the worst titles, to me,
I will reward your cranial humor with shwag!

So, the rules:

Since we're on holiday time here at the Wonder That Is My Blog (and everywhere else in the US, for that matter) this contest will end on December 3rd. The winner will be posted on December 4th.

All titles should obviously be brains related. Take this and run with it: having brains, getting brains, eating brains, or anything else that is brainy shall be considered. The title does not need to have the word "brains" in it or any derivation thereof, although of course it can. Also, I shall laugh mightily at pervy titles, but unfortunately I can't use them. I write YA after all.

Does your title need to be explained? Maybe it's the punchline about a joke involving a nun, a rodeo clown, and a jar of dill pickles. (Mmmm... pickles.) Feel free to tell the joke to receive maximum laughs. Justifications are welcome and encouraged. The more ridiculous the better.

Post your titles in the comments section of THIS POST and only this post. If there are duplicate entries, the first person to post the title will get the credit for it, should that title win.

Speaking of winning, what shwag do you get? I had some YA books picked out for the winner, but then I realized that all of you don't read YA (for SHAME). So you're in the running for a $25 gift card to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Borders (your choice) and a Wonder That Is My Blog Surprise Prize Pack, which will be full of things that will make you snarf, unless you don't actually read my blog in which case they will make no sense to you whatsoever. But you'll still have a gift card.

Please realize that I may actually USE your title, so don't post it unless that's okay with you. And please also realize that just because I select your title doesn't mean that Fabulous Agent or Fabulous Future Editor will also like it, so it may not make it to the shelves, but it won't be from lack of effort on my part.

And last but not least, feel free to post questions in the comments section or email them to me at carr (dot) harr (at) yahoo (dot) com. I'll post the answers so that everyone can benefit from your wisdom. Or my wisdom. Our collective wisdom, I guess.

Good luck, brainiacs!


Keri Mikulski said...

Hmm.. Can you give us a quick synopsis? :)

Carrie Harris said...

Post silly brains related titles, win stuff. ;)

Jamie Eyberg said...

Does aspirin work on Zombie bites?

Elizabeth said...

Ok I'm putting my thinking cap on...

Aaron Polson said...

Butter Braised Brains and Other Delicious Things

I'll have more...mmmmm, brains.

Ray Veen said...

This requires more than your average normal thinking. I'm gonna have to do some special thinking.

I will be back.

K.C. Shaw said...

I am so very, very bad with titles.

Brains for Breakfast

That's awful, I know. I'll think about it and get back to you....

Adrienne said...

I'll be back when my brain is warmed up...

Sandra Ulbrich Almazan said...

Pons Upon A Time....

(The pons is part of the brain stem.)

Jeremy D Brooks said...

"Craniopedic Wonderseat(c)"

Zombies of a certain age steal the brains of the living because they make comfortable seat cushions.

"Eat 'em? Then where would I put my bony tukkas? Oy..."

Scillius Maximus said...

The Dain Bramaged Affair

I had a blast too and thanks for the promotion! I'll treasure it always (at leaset until I get demoted to Scillius Mediocrius).

Go see "My Name is Bruce!" if you can! It was HILARIUS! C.H. and I will be throwing such lines as "Hey! A quarter!" or "Wonder, Wanda, Wan Di!" at each other for years to come.

Fox Lee said...

Earl Grey Matters

Stephanie Perkins said...

NOOOO!! You did NOT see Bruce Campbell without me! I just died a little bit with jealousy.

Oh heavens. Titles. Those are the worst. There's a reason my chapters are called "Chapter One" and "Chapter Two." Good luck with the contest, but you definitely don't want me entering :)

Mary Witzl said...

Damn! Someone else already got Grey Matters!

Surreal Brawl. Hope there's some kind of fight involved in your ms or that one is really wasted...(And a surreal brawl is a terrible thing to waste...)

Carrie Harris said...

Okay, y'all already have me laughing. I can tell this is going to be VERY difficult. Not that I'm complaining, mind you...

Jamie Eyberg said...

Ha, you said mind.

Ray Veen said...

So my first three, on kind of a 'brain-eating theme':

"Brain Candy"

"Gray Matter on Rye"

"Thought for Food" (kind of the opposite of 'food for thought', get it?)

Michelle D. Argyle said...

I don't think you really own a're always saying you'll take pictures and post them. Ahem. I'll believe when I see it. *big grins*

Brain titles. Hmmmm...

The Brainalicious Files
The Brain Files
The Day the Brains Broke Free
Of Brains and Craniums

PJ Hoover said...

Bruce Campbell used to be in one of my favorite shows of all time :)

Ray Veen said...

Next two:

"Brain Freeze, and other Zombie Recipes"

"Scatterbrain, and other Zombie Games"

SlayerOfBees said...

I had to throw my hat in the ring on this one...

1)The Frumious Braindersnatch
2)Gyrating Gyri and Sucky Sulci
3)Brained Homage (sound it out)
4)The Cranivorous Dead (not a typo)
5)Of Matters Gray and White

If I win do I get "special" prizes? :)

SlayerOfBees said...

I forgot to add:

Brain - the other White Meat

Danette Haworth said...

I wish I had thought of Brains--the other White Meat! Here are my entries:

Mind Over Matter
Wrap Your Brain Around This
Fried Brains
Soft Boiled Brains
Brain Cafe on 22nd Street

Jeremy D Brooks said...

Snacks, Lies, and Vitalis: The True Story of a Zombie's Secret Life at the MIT Barber Shop

Elise Murphy said...

Ohhh, I love games . . . and schwag! How's about:

Empty Heads

Brain Void

Empty Skulls

Polluted Brains

Mindless Heads

Mindless Matter

Tastee Matter

Adrienne said...

Gnawing on the Right Side of the Brain

and just because I know you love typos...

Life of Brain

Kelly Polark said...

I JUST saw Bruce Campbell on a TV show last week...never heard of him before that...can't remember which one??!!!
I will have to think about this brains contest...MUST THINK!

K. M. Walton said...

Here goes...

Erin Go Brainless

The Brainless Girl/Boy Wonder

The Brains in Spain Fly Mainly in the Rain

The Squishy Thing Between Your Ears

Chicken Chow Brain


The Main Brain

Carrie Harris said...

PJ Hoover likes Brisco County Junior? Man, that almost deserves a prezzie by itself. I LOVED that show.

I am resisting the urge to comment on specific titles, but I am also wiping tears from my eyes, because y'all are funny.

Paul Michael Murphy said...

Seven Deadly Synapses

Hungry Hungry Hippocampus

Ponsi Scheme

sruble said...

If I were good at titles, I wouldn't have had to have a contest to name my novel! So here are my awful titles, with some help from Sheila.

Brain Muffins
Brain Strain
Brain Stain
Uber Brain
I have brains, I bee smart
Left Brain, Right Brain, What Brain?
Brain Bites
Zit for Brains (sorry about that one)
Mad Cow (sorry about that one too)
Big Brains, Tiny Brains
Brain Cafe

ok, I'll stop now. Good luck finding a Brain Name! (See how I slipped in one last bad title there?)

Sam Hranac said...

I left my Braaaaain... in San Fransisco


Brain Folds as Business Card Holder

Susan Sandmore said...

No Pain, No Brains
No Brains, No Gain
The Life of Brain
And You Give Me a Brain, Elaine
Brain of My Existence
Brain and Able
Brain Drain
The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On The Brain

Wow, I stink at this.

bestfriend said...

Hmm these are pretty good! I think food for thought came up at dinner too....trying to remember.... still like Brains, books and retainers :) Glad you are having a contest it is fun to read everyones ideas!

Lori Degman said...

Brain Free (in honor of Elsa and her cubs)

Frontal Labotomies and You

To Think, Or Not To Think...What Was The Question?

Elizabeth said...

What matters?
Grey Matters!

Cerebral Celery

Cortex Vortex

Full frontal - lobes

Elizabeth said...

PS this one is from my hubby
(disclosure, if he wins I get the loot)

Your brain hole is leaking.

jk said...

Lobe at First Sight
Medulla Oblo-nada
If You Only Had a Brain


Christy Raedeke said...

Continuing on the weird connection theme of your blog/life and mine, Bruce Campbell lives here, in my tiny neck of the woods. I run into him dining all around town. And yes, his chin is THAT big. If you have not yet seen Bubba Ho-Tep, his finest work, you haven't lived...that is if you like Egyptian cowboy zombies, which I suspect you do.

cijaykremsner said...

Here's my attempt:

Get Your Umbrella . . .I'm Having A Brainstorm

cijaykremsner said...

Braindrops Keep Falling From My Head

Brenda said...

Okay...I'm no good at titles either, but here goes:

The Brainy Bunch
I Dream of Brainy
The BrainLight Zone
My Favorite Brain
Dancing with Brains

Okay...not original, but there they are...grin..

Rena Jones said...

Darth Carrie Brains and Revenge of the Love Nubs

cijaykremsner said...

Use Your Noodle For Anything But Casseroles

Michele Thornton said...

Waiter, There's a Fly in My Brain

Brain Maniacs (isn't that a punk band?)

Lobes of Love

Bryan B. said...

When I say, "Brain" You say, "Less"

Brain Bliss

Brain Death

Brain Suck

Suck Brain

My Simple Ton Brain

Less Brain More Heart

Less Brain More Cowbell

Mighty Brain Slam

Suzanne Casamento said...

Okay, while trying to come up with something totally genius yesterday one thing kept coming back to me over and over:


It's funny to me. ; )

cijaykremsner said...

Okay, one more post and I'll go away:

I've Got The Brains
You've Got The Luks

(Spelling error intended.)

Or the not so PC version:

I've Got The Brains
You've Got The Blonde

Kelly Polark said...

These are hilarious! I don't know if I can top goes...

Insane in the Membrane
(it's a song I can't get out of my head!)
It's a No-Brainer
Dain Bramage
Runaway Brain
Picking Your Brain-Literally
Brain Burrito (my husband really ate one once, then got sick!)
Blame It on the Brain (Milli Vanilli pun :0)
My nine year old's input is
Brain Fart
(Yes, our house is SO inappropriate!)

Bryan B. said...

Thank God This Isn't Another Vampire Story
By Carrie Harris

Life Sucks When Your Brain is...wait, what was I saying?

Check Yo Brain, Fool.

Zombies are Whack: And other facts.

The Day I Lost My Brain: And other sucky days.

Losing Your Brain: A Story of Love and Adventure

I feel like, if I just keep trying, one of these is going to be exceptional.

bestfriend said...

Ok...this is totally silly. but back to our dancing days...It's Braining Men!

Hanna Banana said...

28 Brains Later
The Brain After Tomorrow
If I Only Had A Brain

I had more but now I have succumbed to CRS...

Adrienne said...

Now I'm thinking this nonesense in my sleep!

The Whole Brain Diet

Cranium Diddly-Yumtious

Hanna Banana said...

The Cerebellum Saga, lol

SlayerOfBees said...

Got to work too erly today, thought I'd add some more:

Kiss My Synapse
A Synopsis On Synapses
Cortical Blandness (or Blondness)
Growing Pons
Abdullah Oblongata (For a middle-eastern theme)

Bringerofbrains said...

The Scarecrow Club, just wandering around looking for a brain. (I'm entering that one for Chris)

Your Brain, use it or luge it

The Good, the Bad, and the Brainless

The Dummies guide to using your brain (I know, it's copyrighted)

The Dummies guide to brain surgery

The Continuing adventures of Abby Normal

All About Fecal Grey Matter

The lobotomizer

Spontaneous cranial combustion and other clever pub tricks

Conquering the blood/brain barrier

The Brain Whisperer: A bibliography of Igor Schlivovitz

Mommie, why does my head look like dutch loaf; a parent's guide to explaining the brain

Cranial discharge or political discourse, You be the decider...

Tiny T said...

Ok, here goes....

(The) BBB
The Cerebrum Knows (I have the Shadow knows replaying in my head)
Brains: Zombie take-out
Mmmm, Brains
The Zombie Who Hated Brains

Rob Brooks said...

Take the Last Brain to Clarksville

Bringerofbrains said...

Brains, Brains, the magical fruit....

Michelle McLean said...

Okay, I totally suck at titles too. But, just to toss a couple in...

It Was Better In My Head

The Air Up There

Holes in My Head

Brainiacs and Other Mythological Creatures

Brain Stalkers

Raisin Brain

Who Needs A Brain When I've Got You?

The Color Gray

Ridin the Brain Waves

Electric Impulses

Brain Clot

The Missing Synapse

Oye, okay, I'll quit torturing you now :D

Anonymous said...

to quote a song...

Insane in the Membrane


Lobes of Fun
Mind Your Own Beeswax
Frontal Empowerment

Carrie Harris said...

Voting's closed. Yeah, after all that, I was an hour late in closing it. So sue me. ;)