I got a compliment yesterday that mentally scarred me.
See, I was at The Gym, aka that place of torture, aka, the place where I go work out in the back of the room so I can laugh at everyone else's posture and the one guy who reads out loud to himself while he walks on the treadmill. And after I did my working out and laughing at everyone else working out, I took a shower. And lo, it was fabulous. No one was yelling, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" at me. No one was playing in the toilet, and if they were, it wasn't my toilet so it wasn't my problem. No one was peeing on the wall outside the shower, or if they were, it wasn't my wall either. I took a whole shower all by myself, and it was everything I thought it could be.
After that, I got dressed and went up to the Big Mirror. I need the Big Mirror because I have Big Hair. It's thick and goes about halfway down my back, because I secretly worry that someone might lock me in a tower some day, and I might need to let down my hair so Slayer can climb up it and rescue me. Only I got sick of sitting on it, so I cut it, which means that it better be a freaking short tower, or Slayer's going to need some stilts.
I don't dry my hair, because that arduous process takes about 45 minutes, and really, it's going to be long and wavy no matter what I do so I might as well not waste 45 minutes brandishing a hair dryer at my head, trying to convince my hair to do anything other than the long and wavy thing. It was cold outside, and hairsicles are not my idea of fun, so I decided to put it up. Which necessitated using the Big Mirror.
With such Big Hair, it takes a lot of work to get it all up, so there I am, doing my backbends to get it all in one big handful, and this woman comes up to the Big Mirror and says, "You go, girl!" And I laugh a little, because that's what you're supposed to do when someone catches you doing embarrassing contortions in front of the mirror and trying to tame your hair. And then she says, "You have really pretty hair."
So I turn around to thank her, because hey, I'll take all the compliments I can get.
And she was wearing no pants.
Completely dressed on the top, but no pants. No underwear. But for some whacked out reason, she had her shoes and socks on. I very carefully kept my eyes at the neck level and higher, and she proceeded to talk to me about how she wanted to grow her hair out long too, and did I get headaches, and all of that stuff.
But all I kept thinking was "no pants! no pants!" I was so tempted to ask her if she'd forgotten them, but I was a little afraid of how she'd respond.