Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Things That Make Me Snarf - Language Fail

I promise that this week's Thing That Makes Me Snarf will not make you want to take your brain out and soak it in disinfectant.

It really makes me think of that girl that was in my water aerobics class. I mentioned her once in passing; she used to sing, "Guilty feelings, hot diddle diddle," when it was supposed to be "Guilty feet have got no rhythm."

Careless Whispers. Wham! I am such an 80's geek.

I was friends with that girl, and one time I convinced her that the words to Toto's "Africa" were "I left my brains down in Africa." I know; I should be ashamed of myself. But it was funny.

Speaking of language, can I get something off my chest? I hate it when people say, "I found it the last place I looked for it." Well, DUH. That's because when you find something, you generally stop looking. This inaccuracy bothers me so much that I've vowed to keep looking at least two or three more places after I've found something.

Do you see the lengths I go to in order to save the world from poor grammar?


Jamie Eyberg said...

Actually, I do feel the need to disinfect my brain. That was horrible.

Hanna Banana said...

I used to work with a lady who would (when trying to say specifically) always, ALWAYS say "Pacifically".

Drove me crazy!!

Cate Gardner said...

LOL! Fantastic.

Ray Veen said...

My wife is the queen of malapropisms. Too bad I can't share any with you, cuz she forces me to promise to never repeat them.

Okay, one:

"Argghh... people over ninety oughtta have their licenses provoked."

Elana Johnson said...

Whoa. Wait. It's not "I left my brains down in Africa"? Holy crap. ;)

Fox Lee said...

What about, "It's always the person you least expect."
A. No it isn't.

B. As with lost items, why would you keep bringing in unlikely suspects if one confesses?

David Ebright said...

Saving the world from bad grammar.... Does that require a super powers cape or special ninja moves????

Keri Mikulski said...

I love messing up the words to songs.. :)

And my three year old does it the best. :)

Thanks for the laugh.

Sherrie Petersen said...

It drives me CRAZY when people sing the wrong words to songs! My husband likes to do it on purpose. Go figure. That video is hilarious! A friend actually gave me this book, Excuse me While I Kiss This Guy, that has the correct lyrics tons of songs that people get wrong. Ken Lee takes the cake though!

Mariah Irvin said...

Wow..I'm pretty sure that wasn't even a language. I correct my sister on music lyrics all the time. But every time, she defiantly says "I can sing it however I want!" I'm sure it wouldn't fly on that show.

Kelly Polark said...

Hee! My hubby's aunt used to sing "Jose can you see" for the National Anthem! SeriouslY!

Carrie Harris said...

Jamie: I'm sorry. I'm a bad, bad person. But hopefully a funny, bad, bad person.

Hanna: AUGH! I'd have to resist the urge to say, "Like the ocean?" every time she said that.

Cate: That's one word for it. ;)

BPV: I'd like to provoke their licenses, so I think she makes perfect sense.

Elana: I hate to break it to you, but no. LOL

Natalie: Oh, that's a good one too!

JaxPop: Yes. All of the above. Luckily, I happen to have both.

Keri: Oh, yeah. When my son was three, he came up with some great lyrics for Rebel Yell. :)

Sherrie: We have that book too. I read it when I'm feeling down and leave with the knowledge that somewhere out there are people who are stupider than me. Heh.

Mariah: I sure hope it's not a language. The idea of a bunch of people hanging out and speaking like that on purpose just boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Kelly: And you could put that in a book, and no one would believe it. Sad, isn't it?

Ello - Ellen Oh said...

You know you are my grammar guru! Oh semi-colon goddess you!

When my sister was younger she would sing the King of Pain by Police remember that one? She'd sing "I"m always leaking away!" for I'm always the king of pain. Used to kill me. The other classic was Tenderness by General Public - she'd sing ten dollars where is my ten dollars? But at least her excuse was she was little!

Jameson T. Caine said...

AHAHAHAHAHA! That was freakin' hilarious. I'm gonna be shouting "Ken Lee!!!!" for the rest of the night.

Paul Michael Murphy said...

That was awesome, as in awesomely funny. Solvang Sherrie may be my wife, because I do the same thing. My favorite is Shania Twain's "Whose Head Have Your Boobs Been Under?" The Wife loves when I sing that.

Had a religious friend in HS who thought that the song Two Tickets to Paradise was about getting into heaven. Instead of "waited so long...waited so long..." she sang, "Great is the Lord...Great is the Lord..." not making this up.

Christy Raedeke said...

I'm totally going to memorize that song to her "words" because that kicked a** on the original.


Aaron Polson said...

Ouch. That was numbing, and not in the good, alcohol sort of way.

Jim Danielson said...

I would argue that if I were going on a worldwide hunt for my brains AND Africa was the first stop, I would indeed keep looking....especially on tropical islands with nice beaches. Good idea huh?? Of course it is -- I'd have my brains back!
Thanks for yet another hilarious blog!

LauraBlue said...

Shouldn't it be "the last place you think to look"? Hmm, would that make it better? Maybe you'd actually have to make a list and then it would have to be in the place on the bottom. I don't know, never mind. lol

Vikki said...

Heeheehee...now that's funny!

I worked for a woman many, many years ago who, at a staff meeting, told us she wanted to hire more impotent people. Turns out she meant competent, but boy were we all confused for a while.