Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Vampire, Werewolf, or Zombie - The New Rules!

Okay. Before we get to the new and improved version of Vampire, Werewolf, or Zombie, I'm getting a little behind on the haiku reviews again, so let me give you a couple. If you're looking for something to read, why not try one of these? Links are in the sidebar.

Spooky story, dumb name.
Feels more complete when you read
Rhymes with Witches too.

Note that I'm not saying the title of the book is dumb. It's a classic ghost story, and I really go for that kind of thing. But I know people who would actually name their kid Bliss Inthemorningdew, and THAT is dumb.

I am a sucker
When it comes to fairy myth
It's made of awesome

Lament gets a star from me. I loved this book. I got it from the library but can't stand the idea that I don't own one. Maggie Stiefvater is twenty different kinds of kewl. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Shh. It's a secret.
Romancey fantasy is
A guilty pleasure.

More of those later. I've only got about 15 more books to read for the 50 Books in 2009 challenge.

Anyway, I know you're all champing at the bit to hear about the new and improved rules for Vampire, Werewolf, or Zombie. Now, the old rules were simple: I give you three celebrities, you tell me which is the vampire, which is the werewolf, and which is the zombie. But my Twilight parody has become so popular that I've decided to switch it up. This time, we're going to play Merpire, Werething, or Disposable Human.

And we're going to do it with the American Idol judges. I'll even throw in a free Ryan Seacrest, because I'm a giving kind of person. Even if you don't watch the show, or heckle it as is regularly done in the Harris household, you should know who they are: Paula, Randy, Simon, Kara, and Ryan. Gimme your picks for the baby pool lounging merpire, the werething (and what kind of thing they'd turn into), and the disposable human. We'll feed the other two to Zom Cruise.


Cate Gardner said...

I'm a little lost with this one as I don't watch American Idol. I know Simon (of course) and he's definitely a werething, and I vote Paula Abdul as the disposable human.

sruble said...

I love your haiku book reviews! Short and sweet reviews could become a new trend.

Aren't all the AI judges disposable humans? Maybe it's too early in the morning for me to answer that question ;)

Jamie Eyberg said...

Ryan is a merpire.
Paula- definitely a disposable human.
Randy is a werething as is Kara.

Michelle D. Argyle said...

I don't watch American Idol, either. I know, I'm so not Kewl.

I did do a zombie post, though. And you were mentioned. :)

What Is With All The Zombies?

Unknown said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE haiku reviews!!!! :)

K.C. Shaw said...

I would rather stab out my eyeballs with a fork than watch American Idol, so I only know who Simon and Paula are. And I wish I didn't know that much. I'd say Simon is the merpire and Paula, hmm, she's probably a disposable human. The werething is ONE OF THE OTHERS, cleverly disguised as a werehuman.

Fox Lee said...

Simon is a delight : )

Natalie Whipple said...

Okay, I'm appalled at all these people not up with current pop culture. Sheesh. lol. Am I the only one turning my brain to mush with mindless reality TV? Here, Carrie, I'll give you my best theories.

Ryan: I'm thinking werefairy. He's far too tan for merpire, though it would seem a logical route. He's got that "I'm awesome" werefairy thing going on. And his smile is blaring just like Cob's.

Randy: It's pretty clear he's straight werewolf. Dawg. Unless he's just a Weredawg...always a possibility. (I know, so cheesy it hurts.)

Paula: On the surface, I think anyone would go for disposable human. But there's something sweetly sinister about her...I'm saying zombie. She lures contestants with her sweet words, waiting for the right time to eat their brains.

Simon: Can he be his own thing? Whew, this is a hard one. I'm going to say merpire. He's narcissistic enough. And he's rude and distant, like a monster, but everyone LOVES him. He sparkles.

Kara: She's the disposable human and she knows it. She's trying to act all important, but she's not dawg enough to be weredawg, and not sweet enough to lure people into her zombie clutches, and not mean enough or sparkly enough to be merpire. She's just...there.

Elana Johnson said...

Dude, I love American Idol. All reality TV in fact.

Okay, so here goes.

Simon is definitely the werething. I think he changes into those hideous Hanes undershirts because otherwise, why would he always be wearing the ugly things? Ugh.

Paula is the merpire. I mean, that jewelry. She just can't get enough of herself, yanno?

Kara = disposable human, hands down. I mean, does she ever say anything valuable? Um, no. Totally disposable. ;)

Ryan is the zombie. Sure, he looks good. He might even smell good. He twitters. All part of the evil plan to get you close, and then slurp! You have no brain.

Randy could be fed to Zom. That would be hawt.

Mariah Irvin said...

Kara is definitely the disposable human. I don't think anyone can argue with me there.

Ryan is the merpire. He thinks he's awesome and "sparkle sparkle sparkle" but he's actually just short and annoying.

Paula is the werething. She has mood swings and dresses curiously.

Scillius Maximus said...

Okay. I watched AmIdol tonight. Here's what I came up with:

Simon: Merpire. I can see fins and bloodsucking here.

Paula: Were-thing. This week it's were-fangirl "I HEART you!! I HEART your Shoes!!".

Randy, Ryan, Kara: Disposable Humans. Why? Dunno and that's probably why.

Kiersten White said...

Oh, Paula is totally the werething. And Paula is what the werething turns into, there's no other explanation.