Monday, October 26, 2009

Rename Twilight: The REAL Rezultz... and Another Contest

Honestly? I'm kind of happy that you all are as torn as I was when it comes to renaming Twilight. Because I felt like a total waffler when I couldn't decide between the two finalists. (Waffler = person who waffles, natch.) So thank you for reassuring me that the problem is not my inability to make a decision; it's the fact that the finalists were Just. That. Good.

Sooo... your votes were pretty much split. And I have more than one book (that would be a copy of Shadows and Light, in which my short story "Revenge of the Mucus Shovel Fairy" appears). I originally debated giving them both books, but I was worried about the waffle thing. Not that I have a problem with waffles, because they are good with syrup, but I worried that if I became known as a waffler, it was inevitable that people would think that I'M good with syrup too.

And that would be bad.

But after the neck and neck vote in which many of you said that they're both so good that you needed to resort to scientific methods like eenie-meenie-meinie-moe, I've got to give them both books. I'm sorry if this is anticlimactic, but it seems like the right thing to do.

Sooo... the two new titles for Twilight are:
Too Great Expectations: How to Make Sure No Guy, Ever, is Good Enough. Ever. - sraasch

Because Buffy Had Too Much Backbone - CKHB

Ladies, please be sending me emailage with your address, and I'll send you the book. I'll even SIGN them, which is probably more exciting for me than it is for you.

Now I've got one book left, so we're doing one more contest. I only have one book left, so there will need to be ONE winner. Take pity on me. Submit such a fabulous entry that I have no choice but to pick you. Kay? Thanks in advance.

This time, I want you to insert something Twilighty into another book, and give me the new title. For example, you could do Bella + Pride and Prejudice = Pride and Klutziness: How Mr. Darcy Got Sick of Bella Stomping on His Feet All the Time, So He Married Caroline Bingley and Everyone Was Miserable.

Bring on your Twilight Mashups! Post them in the comments below before Friday, 10/30 at noon EST. I will select a winner (ONE FREAKING WINNER) on Monday. That person will win the final copy of Shadows and Light. There's mucus in it. And shovels. And fairies.

You can't resist, can you?

Enter as many times as you like, and if you've won one of my contests before, no worries. Oh, and I don't mind shipping overseas, since I know there was some question about that before.


Susan R. Mills said...

I love the new names for Twilight. I see why you were waffling! Both are well deserving.

K.C. Shaw said...

Oh gosh, this is a contest I really want to enter (which is unlike me) and I can't think of anything! Probably because I've never been able to get into Jane Austen. Darn it.

Still, it'll be fun to read everyone else's entries. And yay for the shared first place winners from the Rename Twilight contest!

Sara Raasch said...

Weeee yay for book winning! My week just got infinitely better :)

Andrea Cremer said...

Wuthering Forks: I Know You're Depressed, but You Wander the Forests After Your Undead Boyfriend Dumps You at Your Own Peril

The Hounds of Quileute: Why is Jacob hot and angry all the time? And when did his friends start working out?

CKHB said...

YAY! I am SO looking forward to getting my book, I cannot tell you.

(Grabbing sraasch's hand to raise in Olympic-style triumph.)

Carrie Harris said...

KC: Ack! I didn't mean that they had to be Jane Austen mashups! Combine Twilight with ANYTHING classic. Heck, combine it with Curious George for all I care. :)

Sorry my example was so misleading. But the idea is to Twilightify ANY classic piece of literature.

Stephanie McGee said...

An epic saga of love and fangs:

The Lord of the Fangs

Consisting of three books, separately titled:

The Fellowship of the Vampire
The Two Lovers
The Return of the Sparkles

In stores soon, reserve your copy today!

Stephanie McGee said...

And don't miss the prequel to The Lord of the Fangs, titled The Klutz. Both titles available soon so pre-order today!

Danyelle L. said...

*snicker* Those were totally awesome. :D

Valerie Kemp said...

Ooh, what a fun idea! I'll have to think on these but here's the first one that popped into my head;

The War of The Mythical Creatures in which one klutzy indecisive girl reignites a turf war between vampires and werewolves thereby bringing about the destruction of the entire earth.

Brigitte said...

this will damage stephenie meyer's self-esteem forever.

awesome >D

Lorna said...

You had so many good submissions to the Twilight Renaming that I was in total awe of all that creativity. And gotta say, that "Because Buffy Had Too Much Backbone" struck me right off the bat, out of all of kudos to the winner(s)!

Mariah Irvin said...

I'll take a chance!

War and Peace + Twilight: I think there's conflict in this book... maybe... eventually.

Jane Eyre + Twilight: Which Edward to you prefer? One that locks his wife in the attic or one that's a creepy, sparkly, perv?

Um... that's all I have for now. To be continued...

lisa and laura said...

Crap, I'm laughing too hard at your example to come up with something funny of my own.

Dana Elmendorf said...

So I missed the first contest and could not resist the second, so I apologize in advance for listing so many...

A Wrinkle in Time and now I’m 108 years old
A Sparkle in Time
Lord of the Flies, Fangs and All Things Glittery
To Kill a Mockingbird, a Grizzly and Mountain Lion…but Not My Girlfriend
Wuthering Heights, so you better hang on Spider Monkey

Larissa said...

Does it have to be mashed up with a classic?

I was thinking: Hunger Games at Twilight: Can Edward Resist?

Or: I Heart You, You Stalk Me

If it has to be a classic, I will have to ponder and come back...

Masonian said...

Gullible’s Travels: A Tale of Lillipution Wits, or, Is It Too Much To Ask For You To Stay Outta Trouble, Bella?

Rosemary’s Baby: Renesme

The Rise and Fall of the Roman Veganpire

Crying and Self-Punishment: Adventures In Not-Getting-Over-Him

B.O. Wulf: A Teenage Werewolf’s guide to Girls, Leeches and Hygiene

White Fang: A Tale of the Sparkles

Bella Misérables

The Tell-Tale Heart: Interpreting Bella’s Coronary Broadcasts
(honestly, how many times can we be told that Bella’s heart pounded when Edward is near?)

The Curious Case of Dr. Jackal and Mr. White

For Whom the Bella Pines

The Picture of Edwardian Gray: Hiding Sparkles With Rain

Grave Expectations, or, All I Want For Graduation is to Become the Un-Dead

annnnnd, I'm spent.

Barb said...

To Kill A Mocking Bite: If you only eat animals, you're a vegetarian.

Carrie Harris said...

Girl with One Eye: Apology, schmapology! I really MEAN the whole submit-as-many-as-you-want thing. REALLY. :)

Larissa: I'm willing to use a loose definition of the word "classic." So pop those puppies in there.

SlayerOfBees said...

Sparkle Dick - Bella obsessively wails over a pale Nancy-boy of a vampire.

(Didja catch the pun?)

SlayerOfBees said...

I hope that title wasn't too adulty for the blod - it is just a play on Moby Dick but upon reread sounds a bit adult-oriented.

CKHB said...

Okay, OKAY! Um...

Fear and Loathing in Forks
Moby Dork ("Call me Bella.")
Around the World in 80 Really Hot Cars

Jamie Eyberg said...

Frankenbella- Sparkly monsters and the men who make them.

Kate Walton said...

Running with Scissors + New Moon = Running with Werewolves

I am so not good at this.