Moving on: now, the funny. There is a raised finger in this video, and yes, it's THAT finger. Just a warning to those of you who occasionally watch with your kids.
Now, a short while ago, I had a request to see the query letter that won the attention of Fabulous Agent Kate. Two things I'd like to say first: I have repeatedly tried to ninja my own letter and can't manage it. This is not because the letter is by any means perfect, but because I have stared at said letter so many times that the mere thought of it is enough to turn my brains into tapioca. Yeah, that happens to everyone.
The other thing I'd like to mention is that I hope all of you writer types are querying your little butts off, but I also hope that you're STILL WRITING NEW STUFF. You ever heard that phrase "don't put all your eggs in one basket"? It's a cliche for a reason. I look back at Superbly Useless and know that it can be awesome, but there are also bits in there that make me kick myself. Lots of bits. Lots of kicking.
Yeah, it looks as funny as it sounds.
Anyway, here's the letter.
Dear Ms. Schafer Testerman,
Superbly Useless is a YA superhero comedy best described as the X-Men meets Bridget Jones’ younger sister. This story about a neurotic but snarky girl who discovers that she has balls of steel should appeal to fans of Maureen Johnson’s Devilish.
In a world where supers are commonplace, having powers doesn’t make Mira Mason’s life any easier. Mira has problems up the yingyang. She’s smart as bleep but turns into a monosyllabic moron every time she tries to talk to her crush. Her father is quite possibly rat-in-a-coffee-can insane. Bubbles McMasters, aka She of the Stupid Name and Evil Disposition, won’t stop picking on her. Just when it seems like things can’t possibly get worse, a voyeuristic new supervillain starts peeping at Mira’s classmates, and Bubbles tries to convince everyone that it’s Mira in disguise. Mira must prove once and for all that she is not Princess Peeps-a-lot, and to do that, she’ll have to catch the real perv.
Superbly Useless is complete at approximately 60,000 words. Needless to say, I would be thrilled to be a new addition to your client list. Do you think that this project would be a good fit for you? Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
I struggled a lot with this one, because there are whole bits of the book that are left out. There's no mention of her love interest, her two best friends, or her telepathic-slash-sadistic teacher, all of whom have pretty major parts in the book. But the main story is about a girl who learns to stand up when no one else will, so anything not directly relating to that had to go. And boy, was it painful to leave it out. My first draft of this letter practically dripped with superfluous character names.
Anyway, I hope at the least you got some amusement out of it. Feel free to ninja the bleep out of me retroactively. It seems only fair.