I'm slowly but surely sounding less like a transgendered vampire 800 operator. Thanks for all the well wishes.
Of course, my recovery was aided by the arrival of a cover printout and my copyedits yesterday. I did some jumping. And some squealing. And then some choking, because my throat can't quite handle the squeals just yet. And then some turning blue and some Heimlich maneuvering against my kitchen chair.
Okay, that last bit is a slight exaggeration. But otherwise it's embarrassingly accurate.
I was admittedly a little worried about the copyedits. I had no idea what they'd look like. Maybe there would be no white space left after they'd gotten done tearing apart my writing and putting it back together again. Maybe I would want to cry. I'm happy to report that copyedits are not scary at all! And a lot of the things are what you'd expect: tense changes and bits on page 27 that contradict what was said on page 1. Repeated words. Changes for clarity.
And then there are the queries that I find absolutely hilarious. For example, should the word awesomesauce be hyphenated? (Obvs, I vote no.) Should the boy in the chicken suit have a thumb impediment or a hand impediment? Should "zombie preparedness posse" be capitalized, hyphenated, or written in giant sparkly letters?
THESE ARE QUESTIONS OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE. Clearly, everyone needs to ask themselves questions like these. I also would like to take my copyeditor out for lunch so we could debate these issues. Would any of you like to join us? And what is your stance on the above issues? If I agree with you, I might nominate you for president.